Black Moon (Alpha Pack #3)(23)

"No boyfriend?" he probed.

"No one serious. I was open to finding someone special, but it was just so hard with me being married to my career. My practice was going so well, I got caught up in complacency. Forgot exactly who I was dealing with-people with problems. Serious ones. A couple of my patients were extremely disturbed, but I wasn't too worried. I was good, you know?" He didn't miss the self-deprecation in her tone.

"What happened?"

"I was attacked by a patient, in my office," she whispered. The memory still chilled her to the bone. "There was no warning. One moment we were having a nice conversation and he appeared fine, and the next he'd knocked me out of my chair, pinned me to the floor, and almost strangled me to death."

"My God," Kalen said hoarsely, eyes wide. "How did you manage to fight him off?"

"I didn't. I lost consciousness, and as I did, I believed I was dead. I thought of my dad and how grief-stricken he'd be to lose his only child, especially like that. Then I was gone. I woke up in the hospital and learned that my secretary had heard the commotion and run in to investigate. She and a couple of patients from the waiting room subdued the man and called for help."

"Jesus Christ." His face reflected the horror she had felt back then. "I can't imagine how terrible that must've been for you."

"It was. I never returned to private practice. Just the idea of being responsible for someone else's mental health, having all of that suppressed rage explode at me again . . . I couldn't deal with it, so I ran. Back to school to become a physician's assistant, and then my dad helped me get the plum assignment at the compound when it opened, just as you guessed."

He flushed. "I apologize. I didn't mean to imply you didn't deserve your position or that you had it easy. I was just being a dick."

"Yeah, you were. But I accept." She gave him a small smile, letting him know he was off the hook. Almost. "So, why were you being mean?"

"It's complicated," he said, gaze dropping to the table.

Just then the waitress returned with their food and set down the plates, giving Kalen a thorough once-over as she did. "Anything else I can do for you?"

Mac's blood pressure rose, anger simmering.

But he barely glanced at the woman, then shook his head and answered politely. "No, thanks."

Taking her cue, the waitress left to see about other customers. The tension in Mac drained as quickly as it had come after seeing the girl devour him with her eyes. Maybe it was ridiculous to be jealous of a man who'd rejected her, but Mac couldn't help how she felt. The way her hormones were starting to kick in, a certain Sorcerer was damned lucky he hadn't responded to the bimbo.

"Mackenzie? Hey, where'd you go?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Just thinking."

"About?"

"You. Gonna let me in on why you've been such a jerk to me lately?"

"Ouch." He winced. "I am sorry, for what it's worth."

"If the attitude is simply to keep me from stalking you or something, you can relax. I haven't been following you around begging you to change your mind, and I won't." Not that she didn't long to leave her pride in the dirt and do just that.

"I'm the one who should be begging for a second chance," he said quietly. "Are you gonna make me do that? Should I get on my knees?"

She stopped twirling her spaghetti and her heart lurched. "What?"

"I got scared and I ran from you. I've f**ked up in so many ways, you can't imagine." Setting down his fork, he rested both elbows on the table, clenching his hands.

"Why should I believe you?" she asked, barely managing to keep her voice steady. What she wanted to do was grab him, drag his body across the table, and kiss him until he passed out from lack of oxygen. Common sense told her to use a bit more restraint.

"You shouldn't. I'm a horrible prospect, honey."

"Because of your past? You know I would never hold that against you. That's not who I am." She touched his hand. "You did what you had to do in order to survive."

"It's not the past I'm worried about." His expression was agonized. "I've done something I'm so afraid I can't take back. I'm up against a force I don't know if I can fight, much less win."

"Tell me."

"I . . ." His inner struggle waged war on his face, and his eyes were bleak. "I went-" Suddenly he grabbed his head, grimacing in pain.

"Kalen, what's wrong?" she asked in a low voice, glancing around to make sure nobody else had noticed.

After a few quick, shallow breaths, he lowered his hands. His skin was pale and he looked shaken. "I can't tell you. He won't let me."

Fear washed through her like ice water. "Who? Malik?"

With apparent reluctance, he nodded. "Yes."

Beginning to connect the dots, she gripped the edge of the table. "This is the one who's giving you meaningful counsel, helping you feel empowered?" she asked in a low voice. At his miserable nod, the dread intensified. "What's this bullshit about him not letting you tell? What has he done to you?"

"I can't explain right now. I wish I could."