Black Magic (Alpha Pack #1.5)(16)

It just hurt too f**king much.

Tired to the bone, and disheartened, Kalen took a long, hot shower. It erased her scent from his skin, but not the memory of making love to the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman he'd let go.

Would it always feel as though he'd ripped off a limb? Like he was bleeding out all over the floor to become nothing more than a shell? How could she have so completely burrowed under his skin, into his heart?

Stepping from the shower, he toweled off and stared at himself in the mirror. It was odd to see a bare spot where the pentagram had rested for as long as he could remember. His grandmother had given it to him shortly after he'd come into his power as a Sorcerer, and had coached him. She'd been his biggest advocate, his cheerleader.

And then she'd been gone much too soon, leaving him alone in a world where nobody understood him, or gave a damn about him. He'd done so many things he was ashamed of, things his new brothers would find abhorrent if they knew.

That's why they could never know he'd been a filthy whore. And so much worse.

Before Alpha Pack.

Before Mackenzie.

He cared about them, couldn't lose them. No matter what he had to do. As if cued by his churning thoughts, a male voice slipped into his head.

"I knew you'd give your precious pendant to the doctor, to protect her from me." A low, amused laugh sounded in his head. "How far would you go, my pet, to make certain your lover remains safe?"

"As far as I need to," he rasped, fists clenched. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"That's what I wanted to hear, boy. You please me already."

Insidious. Seductive. He'd heard those words before, on so many lips. He'd never responded then as he did now-with a rush of dark pleasure. Like a designer drug injected directly into his vein. One he knew would eventually kill him.

But not before he rode the ecstasy to the end of the line.

Shaking himself from the fog of desire, Kalen walked from the bathroom into his bedroom and got dressed. Put on his armor and prepared to face the day, and his demons, without his pendant to shield him from the evil already working its way into his soul.

Outside, thunder rolled. A storm on the way.

When his storm arrived, he prayed he'd be ready. And that he'd have the courage to do what he must.

"Mackenzie," he said into the stillness of his room. "I'm so sorry."

Walking out, he told himself he wouldn't think of what might've been. If only he hadn't taken off the pendant, that one other time before.

If only Kalen Black wasn't already far past redemption.