Binding the Shadows (Arcadia Bell #3)(71)

Mick leaned toward me conspiratorially. “I don’t know what you see in this guy, but I’m damn grateful. Please don’t leave him. I’ll pay you.”

I laughed anxiously as he gave Lon a thumbs-up and walked away.

“What do you want to do?” I asked Lon.

“Get the hell out of here. I can’t handle hospitals. Let me go tell Rose.”

Of course he was overwhelmed with everyone’s miserable emotions. Why didn’t I realize that? I was so stuck in my own worries that I didn’t realize what kind of toll a place like this could have on his knack.

He reappeared a few minutes later and rushed me out the door, telling me that the Giovannis were staying with Yvonne tonight. Once we got a few yards away from the building, he visibly relaxed. I stopped him in the shadows between two parked cars. “What did you see earlier? What did I look like?”

His eyes searched mine. “You were . . . your skin was . . .” He paused, clicking his jaw to one side. “Your eyes were silver. Your halo was almost too bright to look at. It hurt my eyes. And I saw the tail.”

Ugh.

“I’ve never seen a tail like that on anything I’ve ever summoned,” I said in a small voice.

He didn’t comment. Didn’t have to. It was weird, and we both knew it. My mind leapt past the physical issues, to the reason we were here.

“Look, I’d lost control when you drove up and found us,” I said. “But I did what I thought was best at the time. Rose was right—you would’ve ended up in jail if I left it for you to handle. You didn’t see him, Lon. He was stumbling drunk, sick as a dog.” Angry tears pricked the backs of my eyelids. “She encouraged him to drink. Then she left him in the restaurant alone, when she should’ve been spending time with him. But the point is . . . the point is—”

He grabbed my face. Gold flecks from his halo glittered above his head. “You think I’m angry that you stepped up to defend Jupe? That you stopped me from hurting her or going to jail trying? Because, that would’ve been a real option. And sure, I’m upset about the situation. It was a stupid, ballsy thing for you to do.”

“I know, but—”

“But, I’m damn glad you did it. And I’m mostly upset because you’re going through something big, and I feel powerless to help you. All I can do is sit around in my library, combing through old books looking for a clue to whatever the hell is happening to you, and I’m coming up empty.”

“I—”

“And in the middle of all this, you have to deal with my baggage. I’m ashamed of it. And it worries me. Because I know you could be seeing some nice human with no crazy ex-wife, no hyper kid. Someone who won’t be a senior citizen when you’re still in your prime.”

“You know I don’t care about that.”

Hands tightened around my jaw. His look was so intense it almost frightened me. “Do you understand how lucky I am that you put up with all this bullshit? How f*cking grateful I am? How much I love you?”

I stilled. His eyes widened. He hadn’t meant to say it. He was as surprised as I was. A low, deep shudder worked its way through my chest. My throat made a small, broken noise when I inhaled. I could barely get words out. “What did you just say?”

His eyes became unfocused. He blinked several times in rapid succession, then exhaled heavily, as if he was giving in, making peace with the idea. His gaze lifted and returned to mine. “I said I love you.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” I grabbed his hands and pulled them away from my cheeks.

He let out a strained laugh and nodded. “Very sure.”

I didn’t have to say it back; he knew my feelings better than I did. But to hear it from him? It was like I’d just been given an endless supply of cool water and, until I drank a sip, hadn’t realized I’d been wasting away in a desert, dying of thirst.

My head dropped against him, falling into the space in the center of his chest where his breastbone dipped. A space that almost felt like it was made just for me. Where I could feel his heart beating. His arms wound around my back. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. And for a long moment, only the two of us existed, and nothing else mattered.

He loved me. How wonderful was that?

I wanted to stay like that, wrapped in his arms, feeling safe and good. But then I remembered the vial in my pocket.

I pulled away to look at Lon. “I need to tell you something important. When Yvonne left Jupe alone in the restaurant, it was because she wanted to be alone with some Hellfire guy named Evan—”

Lon’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Evan Johnson?”

“I don’t know. Jupe said you hate him.”

“Definitely Evan Johnson.”

I pulled the red vial out of my pocket. “She was buying this from him.”

A rare look of surprise crossed Lon’s face. He took it from me and studied it. “Is this . . .”

“Don’t know if it’s fake or real, but yeah. She admitted that’s what she was buying.”

“Evan’s the dealer?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Christ. He’s Hellfire. Just a regular club member— not an officer, and not all that active in the club.”