Betrayed (House of Night #2)(59)

"I get them, too," I said softly. "Feelings about things or people?" I nodded. "They're harder than my visions--not as specific. Did you have a feeling about Stevie Rae?" she asked. "No. I was clueless, even though now I can look back and see signs that something was wrong with her." Aphrodite met my eyes. "You couldn't have stopped it. You couldn't have saved her. Nyx didn't let you know it was going to happen because there was nothing you could have done."

"How do you know? Neferet says Nyx has deserted you," I said bluntly. I knew I was purposefully being cruel. I didn't care. I wanted everyone to hurt as much as I did.

Still looking me straight in the eyes, Aphrodite said, "Neferet lies." She started to walk away, but changed her mind and came back. "And don't drink whatever she gave you," she said. Then she left the room. Erik, Damien, and the Twins were at my side in a blink. "Don't listen to whatever that hag had to say," Shaunee huffed. "If she said something nasty about Stevie Rae, we're gonna kick her ass," Erin said. "No. It wasn't anything like that. She just said she was sorry, that's all."

"Why did you want to talk to her?" Erik asked. He and Damien had ahold of me again, and now they were leading me up the stairs. "I wanted to know if she had a vision about Stevie Rae's death," I said. "But Neferet has made it clear that Nyx has turned her back on Aphrodite," Damien said. "I wanted to ask anyway." I was going to add that Aphrodite had been right about the accident that almost happened to my grandma, but I couldn't say anything in front of Erik. We came to the door to my room--our room--Stevie Rae's and mine, and I stopped. Erik opened it for me and we stepped in. "No!" I gasped. "They've taken her stuff! They can't do that!" Everything that was Stevie Rae was gone--from the cowboy boot lamp and the Kenny Chesney poster, to the gyrating Elvis clock. The shelves over her computer desk were empty. Her computer was gone. I knew if I looked in her closet, all of her clothes would be gone, too. Erik put his arm around me. "It's what they always do. Don't worry, they didn't throw away her stuff. They just moved it so that it wouldn't make you sad. If there's something of hers you want, and her family doesn't mind, they'll give it to you." I didn't know what to say. I didn't want Stevie Rae's stuff. I wanted Stevie Rae. "Zoey, you really need to get out of those clothes and take a hot shower," Damien said gently. "Okay," I said. "While you're in the shower we'll get you something to eat," Shaunee said. "I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat. We'll get you something simple, like soup. Okay?" Erin said. She looked so upset, and was so obviously try ing to do something, anything, to make me feel better that I nod ded. Plus, I was too tired to argue with anyone. "Okay."

"I'd stay, but it's past curfew and I can't be in the girls' dorm," Erik said. "That's okay. I understand."

"I want to stay, too, but well, I'm not actually a girl," Damien said. I knew he was trying to make me smile, so I made my lips move up. I imagined I looked like one of those scary, sad clowns who had a smile painted on his face along with a teardrop. Erik hugged me, and so did Damien. Then they left. "Do you need one of us to stay while you take a shower?" Shaunee asked. "No, I'm fine."

"Okay. Well ..." Shaunee looked like she was going to cry again. "We'll be right back." Erin took Shaunee's hand and they left the room, closing it with a soft, final click. I moved carefully, like someone had switched me "on," but had set my speed at slow. I took off my dress, bra, and panties and put them in the plastic-lined wastepaper basket that sat in the corner of our--I mean my--room. I closed up the plastic bag and put it by the door. I knew one of the Twins would throw it away for me. I went into the bathroom and meant to get straight into the shower, but my reflection caught me, and I stopped, staring. I had turned into a familiar stranger again. I looked horrible. I was pale, but I had bruised-looking circles under my eyes. The tattoos on my face, back, and shoulders stood out in stark, sapphire con trast to the white of my skin and the rust-colored smears of blood that covered my body. My eyes looked huge and unusually dark. I hadn't taken off my Dark Daughters necklace. The silver of the chain and the copper of the garnets caught the light and gleamed. "Why?" I whispered. "Why did you let Stevie Rae die?" I didn't really expect an answer, and none came. So I got in the shower and stood there for a very long time, letting my tears mix with the water and the blood and wash down the drain.

Chapter Twenty-Four

When I came out of the bathroom Shaunee and Erin were sitting on Stevie Rae's bed. They had a tray between them that held a bowl of soup, some crackers, and a can of brown pop, nondiet. They had been talking in low voices, but as soon as I entered the room they stopped. I sighed and sat on my bed. "If you guys start acting all abnor mal around me I'm not going to be able to handle it."

"Sorry," they muttered together, looking sheepishly at each other. Then Shaunee handed me the tray. I looked at the food like I couldn't remember what to do with it. "You need to eat so that you can take the stuff Neferet gave us to give you," Erin said. "Plus, it might make you feel better," Shaunee said. "I don't think I'll ever feel better." Erin's eyes filled with tears that spilled over and dripped down her cheeks. "Don't say that, Zoey. If you never feel better that means none of us will, either."