Before We Kiss (Fool's Gold #14)(71)

“I worried. We both worried and yet we had to let you be. But in my heart, you were always that little boy, gasping for breath.”

“Mom,” he started, but she held up her hand.

“I don’t try to embarrass you on purpose,” she continued. “I’m open and excited to share every part of my life with the people I love. I want to know everything about you.”

Which would be the problem, he thought. “I’m not comfortable with that,” he told her.

“I know. I think I’ve always known, but as your mother, I thought I had special privileges.”

“You do.”

“Not in that way. I can demand your attention and tell you what to do, but in truth, you’re a grown man and I need to respect that. Your boundaries aren’t my boundaries, but they are still important. I’ll do better in the future. Change is never easy and old habits are very seductive. But I will do my best to remember that you don’t need me commenting on every aspect of your sex life, or even going through your closets. I want things to be different between us.”

He sighed, then pulled her close and hugged her. “Not too different,” he told her. “If you weren’t asking about my scrotum, you just wouldn’t be my mom.”

She laughed and hung on tight. “I’ll still ask. Just not so much and maybe not in a crowd.” She drew back. “You’re a very good man.”

“Thank you.” He stared into her eyes. “Dellina?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

But her gaze was shifting as she spoke and he could feel her starting to squirm. His mother was so honest, she had a horrible time lying, or even withholding the truth.

“You talked to someone and she’s the only one I can think who would take you on.”

“Fine. Dellina mentioned that I was driving you away. That I needed to respect you and pay more attention to your needs.” She waved a hand. “Some version of that. Don’t be mad at her. She’s got your back.”

“I know.”

Not many people were willing to say something like that—especially to Lark. But Dellina had. His friends hadn’t ever taken on Lark, mostly because they enjoyed the show. But Dellina had been worried about him. He liked that. He felt an odd tension inside his chest. Affection, he told himself. Gratitude. Nothing more.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“I HAVE A PLAN,” Fayrene said.

Dellina dropped small faux makeup kits into bright pink goodie bags. She had a party for twelve nine-year-olds later in the week and wanted to get ahead of schedule by filling the bags now.

“I don’t want to hear it,” she told her sister.

“This time it’s different.”

“It’s not. You have some crazy idea to get Ryan to see that marriage is the only possible road to total happiness. Which very well may be true, but all these plans are nothing more than you being scared to tell him the truth.”

Fayrene put one hand on her hip. The other held a very relaxed Caramel, who snuggled against her. “You’re not very supportive.”

“I love you and I want you to be happy. I also know that in the end it all comes down to trusting the man you love. Just tell him you want to get married now. He adores you. Every day he doesn’t propose is proof of how much he cares. He’s doing what you asked. You’re making a big mistake trying to trick him into betraying his resolve.”

Fayrene’s eyes unexpectedly filled with tears. “I want him to propose.”

“He did. You asked him to wait. He’s not going to change his mind. Just admit what’s in your heart.”

Fayrene shook her head and flounced out.

Dellina waited until the front door slammed to continue filling goodie bags. But as she started to work again, she felt an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu. Her weekend with Sam had been extraordinary. Being with him was fun and comfortable and exciting. Defining their relationship was impossible, yet she found herself wanting to do just that. Could she do it? Admit what was in her heart? Maybe the more pressing question was what, exactly, she thought her feelings might be.

* * *

SAM CONTINUED TO study the invoices in front of him. He’d asked Dellina for paperwork from all the suppliers, including the gifts purchased. He compared that to what she’d billed and found that was where the problem occurred. Despite their conversation on the topic, she was reluctant to bill more than what she’d estimated, even when the estimate was significantly less than the final cost. The times he’d changed his mind, switching items, she billed the correct amount, but when the item didn’t change but the final price was more, she absorbed the difference.

“No way to make a living,” he murmured as he went on to the spreadsheet he’d started to track the changes.

He wondered how many times she’s gone through this before. She handled a lot of weddings and parties. From what she’d hinted at, she was struggling financially. He could see why. The difference in what she charged her customers and what she was paying vendors ate into her profits. He would guess there had been several jobs where she’d lost money, despite the hours she put into the project.

He pulled out her contract and read it through again. There was a section that detailed how estimates and actual prices were handled. The words clearly explained that the client would pay the actual price. The problem was Dellina herself.