Because You're Mine (Capital Theatre #2)(57)

“But my character—”

“Have your character react any way you like. I don't give a bloody damn.”

And Arlyss had continued the rehearsal with flat, unemotional line readings that fell just short of mimicking his own. Logan had been tempted to fine her, but that might have provoked the entire company into outright rebellion.

Perhaps the atmosphere at the theater would return to normal once Julia came back, with her softening influence and diplomatic ways. Perhaps acting on stage with her would help Logan to rediscover the inner reservoir of emotion he had always tapped for his performances.

Another endless silence passed, and then Julia dared to bring up the subject that lay at the heart of everything. “Any news of Madeline?”

He gave her a guarded look and didn't reply.

“Arlyss told me what little she and the others knew,” Julia murmured, her face compassionate. “I've been able to guess the rest.”

Reluctantly Logan told her the briefest possible version of the story. “It seems that Madeline decided to make herself less attractive to her fiancé by ridding herself of her virginity,” he concluded dryly, “and I was enlisted to help her.”

Julia's turquoise eyes darkened in consternation. Carefully she set aside the collection of dolls. “And the two of you actually…”

Logan spread his hands in a mocking gesture of appeal. “Who was I to resist such charms?”

A frown worked across Julia's brow. “You must not have realized what Maddy had planned until after…” Her voice faded. “Oh, Logan,” she whispered.

“No harm done,” he said, his back stiffening at her sympathy. “Miss Matthews accomplished her objective, and I had a delightful time assisting her. Everyone was satisfied.” As Julia continued to stare at him with searching blue-green eyes, he stood and began to wander around the room as if it were a prison cell.

Most men would have been able to dismiss the matter without difficulty, perhaps even count themselves fortunate to have been given the gift of a beautiful girl's virginity with no obligations. Why, then, was it still twisting him into knots? Why was the knowledge of Madeline's betrayal just as painful—more so—than it had been the day she had left?

Logan was able to fill the daytime hours with work and social commitments, until the thought of Maddy rarely entered his mind. But at night his sleep was broken by dreams of her. She had cared for him so tenderly when he was ill, had fed and bathed and cooled him, and made his suffering bearable. There had never been a need for anyone to take care of him before…and that, more than anything, had made him love her.

The realization that Maddy had only done those things in order to serve her own purposes nearly drove him mad. In the dark hours of evening he silently raged and twisted in his bed until the sheets formed tangled ropes around his legs. Each morning he woke up exhausted and angry, hating himself and everyone who was unfortunate enough to cross his path.

“I don't believe there was any malice in Maddy's actions,” Julia said quietly. “Only the thoughtlessness of a child. It speaks of her innocence that she would have dared to meddle with a man like you—she couldn't possibly have understood what she was doing.”

His hand moved in a silencing gesture. “Enough about her. She's irrelevant to anything we have to discuss.”

“How can you say that when it's obvious that you still haven't recovered from what happened?”

“I don't want to talk about her.”

“Logan, you'll never have any peace until you find some way to forgive Maddy.”

“Mention her name again,” he said softly, “and our partnership is over.” The threat was in deadly earnest.

Suddenly Julia looked every inch a duchess, her nostrils flaring with hauteur. “I don't like your tone.”

“Forgive me, Your Grace,” he said with exaggerated courtesy, returning her cool glare.

After a moment Julia's temper died as quickly as it had flared. “When I was her age,” she said, avoiding the use of Madeline's name, “I ran away from my family for a very similar reason. I wanted to escape the plans my father had made for me. I can't blame her for that, and neither should you.”

“I don't. I blame her for being a liar and a manipulator.”

“What's going to happen to her now?”

“I don't care.”

“Of course you care,” Julia replied, staring at his grim profile. “You can't do your work properly, the acting company is nearly in revolt, and the reviewers are tearing you to shreds. You've lost weight, which means you're not eating, and you look as though you're at the end of a week-long hangover. This is far more than wounded pride. From all appearances, your life is falling apart around you.”

There was no hangover. A hangover would come when he stopped drinking, and that wasn't likely to happen for a while. Logan gave Julia a glacier-cold smile. “Nothing is falling apart. Every actor is due for bad reviews at some time during his career. It's merely my turn now. Furthermore, the Capital players will get used to the fact that I'm not going to coddle them any longer. If I've lost weight, it's because I've been doing some extra fencing for an upcoming play. And let me make one thing clear—I never loved Madeline. I desired her, I had her, and now I'm finished with her.”