Beat of the Heart (Runaway Train #2)(42)
“Dammit, Mia, I swear that Kylie and those other girls don’t mean shit to me.”
“But they mean a lot to me. I don’t know how to deal with it. You were just supposed to be about me getting back in the game, not being tossed right back out into the same shark-infested waters as before.” When I winced at her words, she reached up to cup my cheek. “I wish I could do this, but I can’t.” When she started to open the door, my palm landed on the wood, slamming it shut.
Desperation and anger rocketed through me. “So that’s it? We’re totally f*cked as a potential couple just because I have a dick. That’s bullshit.”
“You don’t understand—”
“No, I don’t think you understand. When I’m in a relationship, I’m in it for the long haul. I have never cheated once on any of my girlfriends. Ever. I was a freakin’ altar boy back in the day, and that makes me take fidelity pretty damn serious. Get it through your thick skull, Mia, I’m not Dev—I’m not going to do that to you.” When Mia continued staring down at the grungy carpet, I huffed out a growl of frustration. “Look at me dammit.” I reached over and cupped her face in my hands, forcing her to meet my eyes. “I mean it. I’m not Dev. Don’t walk away from me just because you think I’m someone I’m not.”
Pain replaced Mia’s sad expression. “I wish that it was just about Dev, but there are other…bad experiences from my past that make this hard for me.”
Realizing I wasn’t getting anywhere with her, I decided to change up my game. With a sneer, I replied, “Where’s the ball-busting, Sicilian Mia that went toe to toe with me the first time I met her? The last thing I ever would have thought is that you’re a coward.”
Her dark eyes narrowed at me. “How dare you call me a coward! If you knew what all I’d been through.”
“We all have our shit. Quit acting like a martyr to your past.”
“Fuck you!” she spat, before she reached for the doorknob. I knocked her hand away before gripping her shoulders and whirling her body around. When I molded myself against her, she struggled against me. “Stop it, AJ,” she hissed.
I silenced her by bringing my mouth down hard against hers. At first, it was like kissing a brick wall, but the moment I slid my tongue against her lips, a tiny moan escaped her. Her reaction must’ve spooked her because she tried to jerk away. Instead, I tightened my arms around her. “Don’t run away. You want this…you want me.”
Jerking her chin up, she glared at me. “It doesn’t matter what I want. Considering my past, I wanted a lot of shit that f*cking wrecked me. So, let me go.”
A volatile mixture of desperation and fury swelled in my chest, and I fought to keep my head on straight and not explode. I’d never met a woman like Mia, but at the same time, I knew if I let her out the door, I might not ever see her again. I was not going to let that happen—not while I was still breathing. I shook my head at her. “I’m not going anywhere, and you’re sure as hell not going anywhere,” I hissed against her mouth. My hands swept around her back, searching out the zipper on her dress. Once I found it, I jerked it down before pulling both of the straps on her dress down. As my hand came around her ribcage, I grazed her breast, and she sucked in a breath. Before I even touched her breast, the nipple had hardened in anticipation.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she questioned breathlessly, as I continued to palm her breast.
“I’m about to f*ck some sense into you,” I growled, as I jerked the hem of my shirt over my head.
When she started to protest again, I took both of her hands in one of mine and pinned them above her head. Her eyes widened, not with fear, but with desire. “You like that, don’t you?”
“No,” she snapped, thrashing against me.
I gave a low laugh. “Oh yes, you do like it.” Leaning over, I licked a trail from her chin up to her ear. A shudder rippled over her body, and I knew with every second she was warming more and more to me—giving in to what she really wanted but that her mind railed against. I nipped and licked at her mouth, grazing her bottom lip between my teeth. “How wet is your * right now, Mia? How bad do you want me to f*ck you hard and fast up against this door?”
A whimper escaped her lips, and I could see her resolve was slowly fading. With my free hand, I pulled the front of her dress down further and eased it over her hips. It was harder than I thought one handed. After it fell to the floor, I met her gaze again. Both lust and fury burned in them. I raked my eyes over her body—her sexy black lace bra and panties caused my dick to pound against my zipper. I wanted more than anything to drive home the point of how much she really wanted me and how good we were together to her stubborn ass, but at the same time, her broken expression out in the club flashed before my eyes. I didn’t want to do anything to make her hate me later on. “Tell me you don’t want to do this, and I’ll stop.”
She stared at me, her chest rising harshly, before she slowly shook her head. “I wish I could, but I can’t.” She swallowed hard. “You’re so f*cking wrong for me, but I still want you—I want you in every way possible.”
Frustration burned within me at her words. I wanted to prove to Mia that she was wrong—I was right for her. I dropped my hand from hers, letting her arms fall free. We stood there, staring intently at each other for a few seconds, our chests rising and falling with heavy breaths. Reaching out, I took Mia’s hand and brought it to my chest, splaying her fingers over my skin. “Do you feel my heartbeat racing?”