Be With Me(30)

“Reggie, stop,” Cam said. “Enough with the guilt.

Why are you tearing yourself up over this? We’ve been straight with you. Do you think Hutch and Sawyer are going to beat the shit out of me because I kissed you? Or does it bother you that they aren’t?” He let the last question hang heavy in the air. Her eyes widened a fraction.

“No. I mean, no, that’s not what bothers me.”

“Then what is it?” Cam pressed.

Sawyer moved from his chair to the couch, where he could see Reggie and where she could see him.

He reached over to take the hand that was resting on Cam’s lap.

“Honey, we know what we’re asking is a lot. God knows it won’t be easy for you. But we’re wil ing to do whatever is necessary, whatever it takes to make you happy, to prove to you that this can work. None of us wants to be without you.”

“We’ve laid it out on our end,” Hutch said quietly.

Reggie turned to look at Hutch, and he stared back, his expression intense.

“What we haven’t talked about is how you feel about us, baby. We can sit here and tel you how we feel and what we want al day long, but it won’t mean shit if we don’t know what’s going on in your head.”

“What about it, Reggie?” Cam asked softly as he touched the curve of her neck. “Have you got the bal s to look us in the eye and tel us what you want?”

Chapter 12

Regina’s pulse quickened and raced so hard, she could feel the steady thump at her temple. They wanted answers that she couldn’t give. God, she had no idea what to say or how to articulate the mass of confusion that had taken up steady residence in her brain ever since that night a year ago when the three of them had made love to her.

Just thinking about it made her panic.

How did she feel about them? Were there even words to describe such a thing?

She’d spent a year beating herself over the head for something that Cam, Sawyer and Hutch had accepted readily. While she’d been busy trying to shove the incident from her mind, they’d pressed in closer.

But now those memories came storming back.

Their mouths and hands on her body. Touching her, loving her, completing her.

Suddenly she felt ashamed. Not because of what she’d let happen but because she’d likened it to a smutty  p**n  experience when clearly it had meant more to the guys than just a romp in the sheets.

“What are you thinking?” Cam asked softly. He nudged her chin until she looked into his eyes.

“About that night,” she said in a low voice.

Sawyer’s grip tightened around her hand and he laced his fingers through hers.

“Was it that bad, Reggie? Did we hurt you? Did we scare you? Do something you didn’t want? Talk to us, honey. The not knowing is making us crazy.” She stared down at their entwined hands. She felt smal and self-absorbed. So much of the last year she’d spent focusing on how she felt, and she’d never considered how her distance had made them feel.

“You didn’t hurt me,” she said honestly. “I wanted . .

. I wanted it. It scared me. I scared me. Not you. But I shouldn’t have let it happen. Don’t you see? It changed everything. I miss . . . I miss the way things were. I miss you. Al of you.”

“Ahh, honey, we’ve missed you too,” Sawyer said.

He brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss into her upturned palm.

“We can’t go back, Reggie,” Hutch said quietly.

“We can’t pretend it never happened. I wanted what happened. I know Cam and Sawyer did too. It was inevitable. We have to deal with it, be straight with each other and go on. Dodging the issue and ignoring what’s between us doesn’t do any of us any good.”

She bowed her head and stared down at her lap. “I know.” And she did. If only she knew what to do. So much was riding on how she handled this, on what she decided and how she acted. What if she chose wrong and screwed up her relationship with the three people she loved most in the world?

It terrified her.

Cam sighed. She knew that sound. It was him running out of patience, a sound of resignation. She glanced guiltily up at him and silently begged him to understand.

He touched her lips with a finger, and his brown eyes softened.

“Sooner or later you’re going to have to face this, Reggie darling. The only reason I’m not leaning on your harder is because you’re hurt and you’re tired, and you’ve had a hel of a day. I’m going to get some ice for that hand, and Hutch is going to get you another painkil er. Then I’m going to carry your ass up to bed. And just so you don’t get any crazy ideas, you’re not going anywhere. You’re stuck here. With us. That’s not open for negotiation.” She gaped at the steel she heard in his voice. The entire world had gone mad. Hutch was acting like a bul dog, Cam was going al alpha on her, and Sawyer . . . wel he was acting like the damn fool he always acted like, but at least he wasn’t acting out of character yet. She expected him to be al forceful and laced with testosterone. Cam and Hutch? Not so much. Especial y not Hutch.

Cam patted her on the ass then plucked her off his lap and plopped her onto Sawyer’s. He rose from the couch and walked away, Hutch fol owing behind.

“They’ve lost their freaking minds,” she grumbled.