Be With Me(108)

She loved Cam, Sawyer and Hutch. Always had.

They’d been hers since they were children. Their friendship, their bond, had only strengthened over the years and had taken the next logical step from simple friendship to physical intimacy and deep love.

She al but flew down the steps, her muscles quivering with anticipation. When she rounded the stairs into the living room, al three men were there.

Cam was at the window, staring out the front, his hands shoved into his pockets. His posture was stiff, uneasy. Sawyer was sprawled on the couch, leaning back, his stance seemingly at ease, but his brow was creased in concentration. Hutch sat forward in the chair catty-corner to Sawyer. His elbows dug into his knees, and his expression was solemn.

Now that she was here, she had no idea how to go about tel ing them everything that was in her heart.

How could she possibly put into words the depth of her love? There weren’t enough words in the English language to get across just how much they meant to her.

“I love you,” she blurted out.

Three heads turned in her direction. Warmth spread through their faces. Cam relaxed his stance, but stil he waited, not moving. Her knees shook, and her hands were clammy. She’d never been so afraid in her life. But she forged ahead, determined to make them understand.

“I love you,” she said again. “Al of you. So much.”

“We love you,” Cam said simply.

She moved closer, into the living room, not comfortable sitting. She remained at a distance, needing it in order to keep her composure.

“I want to stay. If you’l stil have me.” The three men tensed. Hutch’s hands curled into fists.

“If we’l have you?” Hutch said in disbelief. “Baby, I’m not sure you’re going to get a choice in the matter. I’ve even researched the penalty for kidnapping a police officer and tying her to a bed.” A grin twitched the corners of her mouth. Her legs were trembling, and so she slid onto the couch at the opposite end to where Sawyer sat.

“I’ve been unfair,” she said in a low voice. When they would have protested, she held a hand up. “Let me finish please. I have so much to say. So much to apologize for.”

She looked at al three as tears swam in her vision. “I don’t know why you haven’t given up on me.

I’ve spent the last year running from you, from your love. I lied to you, to myself, pushed you away, and yet you stil never gave up. Why?” she asked as she forced her gaze to them once more.

“Because we love you,” Cam said. “I can’t offer you a more complicated answer. It’s just that simple.” Her chest swel ed with emotion. It was al she could do to remain sitting, when she wanted to launch herself into his arms. Never let go of him.

“I know you think I only stayed because of the danger to al of you,” she said in a low voice.

Three expressions suddenly became brooding.

“Why did you stay, Reggie?” Sawyer asked in a soft voice. Dangerously soft. Deceptive because of the steel thread lining his words.

She looked down at her hands. “At the time I told myself that I was staying to protect you, so I could keep an eye on you. I said al sorts of things to justify my reasons for wanting to be with you. I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what, baby?” Hutch asked.

“Of it not working, and destroying me when it didn’t,” she said.

“And what about now?” Sawyer prompted.

She returned his gaze. “I realized that I didn’t trust you.” She flinched when he winced. “That didn’t come out right. I do trust you. I’ve always trusted you.

But when it came to believing that this could work between us, I just didn’t trust that you could al deal with . . . sharing . . . me. I was so worked up over having to make sure each of you was satisfied. I was freaking out over the idea of being al things to al three of you, and it left me wondering if there would be anything left, if I would lose myself trying to be something I wasn’t.”

“Oh, baby,” Hutch said, his breath forceful y exhaling in a rush. “We never meant for you to feel that way.”

Cam crossed the room and knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his and squeezing gently.

“We only wanted you to be yourself, Reggie darling. We love you. Not your idea of perfection.

You’re stubborn, impossibly stubborn. Pigheaded, obstinate, can’t cook worth a damn, but we wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

Her mouth crooked upward in a smile. “You know, you should real y try to control yourself when listing my many attributes. Al that praise could go to a girl’s head.”

Cam chuckled and cupped her face in his hand.

“See? That’s why we love you so damn much. You’re an irreverent hoyden, and when you’re old and gray, we stil won’t be able to keep up with you.” She softened al over and sagged into his hand.

The idea of growing old and gray with them touched on every dream she’d ever imagined.

“I want to stay,” she said. “I love you al so much, and I want this to work between us.”

“We love you too,” Cam said. He tugged her closer and touched his lips to hers in a sweet kiss.

She pulled away and glanced up at Hutch and Sawyer, who wore similar expressions of contentment. Then she stood, moving past Cam to pace the confines of the living room.