Bad for You (Sea Breeze #7)(60)

I stepped back. He had slept with her. Oh God, I was going to be sick. “You slept with her? Today? After—”

He moved fast, cutting off my words, and grabbed me. “No! God No! Blythe, No! Never. I would never touch anyone else now. I don’t want to touch anyone but you. Just you, love. Just you,” he said as his body trembled.

That hadn’t been what he was going to say. The nausea faded, and I nodded. I had jumped to conclusions. Linc’s words had gotten to me, and I hadn’t realized it until just now. “Then what did you mess up?” I asked.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Or at least tried to. It was shaky, and he seemed completely terrified. My instinct to protect him was back, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Tell me,” I said.

“Britt is pregnant. She says it’s mine,” His jaw tensed, and his tortured gaze locked with mine.

She was pregnant. He had gotten a girl pregnant. He was going to be a father. How did I handle this? Why was he asking me not to leave him? Did he not believe her? “Are you sure it’s yours?” I asked, unable to look at him.

“The condom broke about two months ago. I didn’t even think about her getting pregnant. I thought she was on the f**king pill. I got myself checked to make sure I didn’t get anything from her, but that was it.”

I didn’t have any words. I needed to think. I had to process this.

“Blythe, please, don’t pull away from me. Please, don’t. I can’t lose you. I can’t.” He was begging, and I hated hearing the pain in his voice. But this time I couldn’t be there to defend him and protect him. I was going to have to protect me.

“I just need some time to think,” I managed to say. I was numb. I was alone again. This time it would be worse. I knew what it felt like to belong to someone. Before, I had been blissfully ignorant.

“No. No, you’re closing me out. God, baby, don’t do this. Don’t close me out. Stay with me. Listen to me. I love you. I love you so much.”

I jerked as if I had been slapped. The pain his words caused was as sharp as a knife going through my chest. Not now. I couldn’t hear those words now. My entire life I had wanted nothing more than to hear someone tell me they loved me. I had been afraid to hope for it, and now, in the darkest moment of my life, those words were finally spoken. Shaking my head, I backed away from him.

“I can’t. Not now. Just please leave me alone. I need time to think,” I backed up until my legs hit the couch behind me.

“Blythe, you will destroy me. I love you so much. You own my soul. You are everything to me. Don’t do this. Let me hold you,” he was moving toward me, but I shook my head. Letting him hold me now would taint it. I felt safe in his arms. I wanted to remember that feeling. If he held me now, it would ruin that memory.

“Just leave. I need you to leave. I’m sorry, Krit. I hate that you’re hurting and scared. I hate that I can’t fix that for you. I want to, but if I don’t have a chance to hold myself together and deal . . .” I stopped. I wouldn’t tell him how close I was to shattering.

“I need to hold you,” he said. The thickness in his voice was getting to me.

“I need to hold myself this time,” I told him, and finally lifted my gaze up to meet his. The unshed tears in his beautiful blue depths almost sent me to my knees. God, how could I do this to him? He was pleading with me. But if I caved in, I would be facing so much future pain. How much of that pain could I handle? Was I ready for that? “This is a lot for me to take in. My past . . .” I swallowed. “I’ve never told you about my life. Not really. It made me expect certain things. You taught me not to expect those things. You made me believe I could be wanted. You wanted me when no one else ever has. I will never ever forget that. But right now I need to be alone. I owe you the world, but I don’t think I am going to fit into yours any longer. Your life is about to change, and I don’t see my place in it. Just give me some time.”

Krit’s shoulders sagged, and he reminded me of a lost defeated little boy. Nothing in the world would have kept me from going to him and taking away his pain . . . except this. “You don’t just fit into my world, Blythe. You are my world,” he said in a haunted voice, then he walked away.

The door closed behind him, and when I was sure he was really gone, I curled up on the floor and sobbed for all I had been given and all that had been taken away.

KRIT

I sat in a chair facing the window. My eyes focused on Blythe’s car. She needed to be alone and think. As long as I knew she was safely underneath me in her apartment, I could deal with it. But if she tried to leave me, I was going after her.

The more I thought about losing her, the more I realized it was impossible. I wouldn’t let it happen. I wasn’t going to let her leave me. Green hadn’t even bitched about me not going to Live Bay tonight. Until Blythe was back in my arms, I wasn’t moving from this window. If she stayed in that apartment too much longer, I was going after her though. She might think she needed to be alone, but she needed me as much as I needed her.

My phone lit up with another call from Britt. Until I knew Blythe wasn’t lost to me, I couldn’t deal with Britt. I wasn’t going to abandon my kid. If it was mine. I knew the condom broke, but I wasn’t an idiot. Girls like Britt lied. I wanted doctor’s proof she was pregnant, then I wanted a paternity test the moment the kid was born. Only then would I accept that it was mine.