Bad for You (Sea Breeze #7)(46)

Girls had been screaming his name then, and he’d turned back to them and waved. One had even told him she loved him, and he’d winked at her. But all along his fingers had been threaded with mine, and his hold on me was tight, as if he was afraid someone was about to come snatch me away from him.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he turned to look back at me while he was singing. The grin on his face made my heart skip a beat and my stomach feel funny. I lifted my hand and waved at him, and his grin just got bigger.

It wasn’t the first time he had done that tonight. He was doing it a lot. I had worried that he would realize I was in the way and regret bringing me, but he wasn’t acting that way at all. He really hadn’t acted that way when we’d been in the car. My panties were uncomfortably damp now, but wow, it had been worth it.

I was worried about it though. That hadn’t been a friend thing to do. It had been intimate and something I never imagined I would do with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with. But with Krit, I forgot about all that and took whatever I could get.

Not having a mother to talk to growing up and not having a father who made me feel secure had warped me somehow. That was all that made sense. This intense feeling I had for Krit. This need to be touched by him. To belong to him. I had always wanted to belong to someone.

When I was fourteen, a girl in our church had been tragically killed in a car accident. I had sat at her funeral watching as her mother had bent at the waist as sobs had racked her body. The girl’s father hadn’t been much better. He had fallen on his knees and rested his head against the girl’s casket as his shoulders shook. It had been heartbreaking to watch. But the entire time I’d sat there, I’d wondered what that girl’s life must have been like. She had known a love like I had only dreamed about.

Then it had hit me. No one would cry if I died. No one would care. I wouldn’t have parents who were so overcome from their grief that they couldn’t stand up. I wouldn’t even have friends who had tissues wadded up in their fists as they stood and silently sobbed in their seats. That day had marked me.

Krit didn’t know any of this. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into with me. I wasn’t like the girls who threw their panties at him hoping for one night of pleasure in his arms. I couldn’t get up the next day and walk away like he meant nothing to me. I wasn’t wired that way. All my life I had been alone and isolated. Would I love naturally? Or would my love be a twisted, broken love? Would I love in a way that smothered and made people run away?

Was I even lovable? There was a reason Pastor Williams and Mrs. Williams didn’t love me. There was a reason no one ever got close to me or showed me love. Had I tried to love when I was younger and had it been wrong?

I glanced up from the spot on the floor I had been staring at while I was lost I my thoughts to see Krit walking toward me. Had they finished the set? He had said they did three tonight with twenty minute breaks in between.

Glancing behind Krit, I saw Green scowling as he followed Krit offstage. Was something wrong? I hadn’t been watching them. Did I miss a fight?

Krit was in front of me, immediately taking my hands and pulling me up. “What’s wrong?” he asked, a concerned frown etching his beautiful face.

“What’s . . . I don’t know? I—” I stopped talking when Green grabbed Krit’s shoulder and jerked him around.

“What the hell was that? We had five more minutes. We could have done another song. We were scheduled to do another song. Did you not look over the f**king lineup?”

Krit took a step and got in Green’s face. “Don’t. Fucking. Interrupt. Her.” He snarled then shoved him back, causing Green to stumble.

The instant fury that lit up Green’s eyes sent me into motion. He was going to hit Krit. I wasn’t going to let him hurt Krit. I jumped up as Green got in Krit’s face.

“We are working! She was fine. You could see her. What the f**k is wrong with you? This is our job, ass**le. You can’t go doing shit like that when we have a packed house!”

Krit shoved him again. “Don’t tell me what the f**k to do.”

I had to stop them. This was about me. I wasn’t sure why Krit had come offstage, but I knew it was about me. I had to fix this. I didn’t want Krit fighting with his best friend.

“Stop f**king shoving me, you pansy-ass motherf*cker!” Green roared, and lunged for Krit.

I moved fast, putting up two hands and jumping in front of Krit to stop him. The force of impact when Green didn’t stop hit me directly in the chest. It was as if someone had put a vacuum in my lungs and sucked all the oxygen from the room. Nothing was getting in, and panic gripped me when I realized I couldn’t breathe.

“Fuck!” Krit yelled, and his arms were around me. He was doing something to my chest as he begged me to breathe. I was trying to breathe. It wouldn’t work.

“Baby, please breathe,” he was pleading, and I wanted nothing more than to do that, but I couldn’t. It hurt, and the terror that I was about to die settled over me.

“She got the air knocked out of her. She’s gonna be okay,” Matty said in an calmer voice.

And then the vacuum left, and the air I had been fighting for filled my chest as I gasped loudly and bent over. Krit was holding me against him as me muttered sweet things over and over while he rocked me back and forth.