Back in the Saddle (Jessica Brodie Diaries #1)(67)

I didn’t even stop to ponder why I was so far gone on a guy I had just met. Yes, he was my rock, my safety blanket with the whole life altering Dusty situation. But I was working that out with Dr. George. Finding a sense of power in myself, which diminished my desire for William’s safety net, but it had no effect on my desire for William as a man.

He was also the most gorgeous guy I had ever met. Granted, there were, of course, better looking men in the world, but not to me. He had that right amount of manliness, that body, those broad shoulders, that smell, those eyes, that ability to reach into me and pull me to him—

Those thoughts felt like an arrow piercing my chest.

Regardless, those were just looks, and looks go. So why would I be hanging onto this? It just didn’t make sense. This whole stupid thing didn’t make sense.

At Gladis’s urging I was dating again. I was told, "Get back in the saddle, young lady! Get up when life knocks you down!"

Somehow that stranger from the bar managed to find out who I was and call me. That guy that said Jessica was a beautiful name. And because I was a glutton for punishment, I had gone out with him a couple times. I couldn’t say I was really into him. He was good looking with Auburn hair, wide set brown eyes, probably six feet, and great sense of style. He had a slight build—not as thin as me, but thin for a guy.

He seemed to have gobs of money. Usually that was a good thing, but he splashed it around and made a big show of it. We went to nice restaurants that were expensive just because they looked gaudy—the food was not great. He drove a Porsche that had fairly cheap leather interior. He tried to show off his new Gucci watch, or his Prada sunglasses, but they were put on the market a couple seasons before and were probably on the sale rack, which isn’t impressive to those who know designers, of which I was one, even though I could never afford the clothes or accessories.

But I got back in that saddle, like Gladis said. I dated again. Got flowers. Got praised and fawned over. But I didn’t get laid. I let him spend a little money on me, enjoyed a few bits of otherwise dull conversations, and headed home. A couple kisses, no feeling, no petting, definitely no sex!

Gladis never said boo about me dating him, but I could tell she wasn’t real enthused. He had good manners and always stood up to code with whatever rules Gladis had, so he wasn’t like Randall, but she just never seemed to say anything nice about him. She never said anything at all, actually, which meant she probably had only discouraging things to say.

So no sex with him, and no sex with anyone. Gladis had me worried I would be viewed as some kind of “painted lady” or something. I didn’t even know what that meant and I was afraid of it.

Instead of dating and going out, I started working out a lot instead. Every day I hit the gym or dance classes. Why not? What else did I have to do?

When my body needed a rest, or after I was done working out, I would cook or read. I either had Gladis and Lady over to eat in my place when I was cooking, or went to the Big House when I wasn’t.

Three months this carried on. Three long, miserable months. Gladis was getting worried about me, and Dr. George, whom I had stopped seeing, called “out of the blue” for a follow up appointment.

The bottom line wasn’t that there was something wrong with me, it was just that all my friends in Texas were either married and went home evenings (JP and a couple other people from work) or were connected with William (Candace, Ty, Adam, Moose).

I finally just gave in, called a spade a spade, and started looking for jobs in L.A. I hated to leave the company I currently worked for, but I had friends and a life in L.A. Or hell, maybe I would go off to Australia with Lump and find me an Aussie.

It was a day after that decision that I received the phone call.

“This is Jessica,” I answered in mild surprise. I didn’t get many calls on my work line.

“Do you have to yell it across the world?” Juniper shouted from behind her plant. Professional was her middle name.

“Jess? Jessica?” Lady asked confusedly.

“Hi Lady. What’s up?”

“Jessica—Gladis had an accident. She’s been taken to the hospital.”

My blood froze in my veins. Rigidly, clutching the phone in a white knuckled grip, I fought to remain calm. “What do you mean accident, Lady? What happened?”

“She was walking down the stairs and tripped. She didn’t fall far, but… She is okay. I wasn’t on duty yet. That excuse for a maid was there! But Gladis might have broken something…”

“Where is she, Lady?”

I got all the info for the hospital and literally ran into my bosses office. In one breath I told him what happened and said I had to go to the hospital ASAP. He complied without thought or emotion, and I was out the door.

Chapter Fifteen

I sat into my car and said a little prayer. It was on its last leg. Half the time it coughed to life instead of started. I needed a new one, but didn’t want to buy one here if I was going back to L.A. or over to Australia. I barely got it started.

Now I was pushing it. It started to smoke but I kept going. Sure, Gladis was probably fine, but she had been basically my best friend for the last three months. She had helped me heal from the Dusty thing, she was my shoulder to cry on for the William thing, and she was always around to cheer me up, or just hang out. Now she might need me, and I was damned sure going to return the favor.