Awakened (House of Night #8)(84)

"Okay, sssh." I pressed my finger against his lips, shutting him up. "No, I don't think you'd let anything hurt me. You're tired. The sun's up. We've had a crazy day. Let's just sleep and agree to no more biting."

"That sounds good to me." Stark held open his arms. "Would you come here?"

I nodded and spider-monkied him. His touch was normal: strong and secure, but very, very gentle.

"I've been having sleep issues," he said hesitantly, after he kissed the top of my head.

"I know you have--I've been sleeping with you. It's been kinda obvious." I kissed his shoulder.

"Not going to ask me if I want to go into therapy with Dragon Lankford this time?"

"He stayed. He didn't leave the House of Night with us," I said. "None of the professors did. Lenobia stayed, and you know she's one hundred percent behind us."

"Yeah, but she can't leave those horses, and there's no way we can get them down here," I said.

"Anyway, Dragon's different. He feels different to me. He wouldn't forgive Rephaim, even after Nyx basically told him he should."

I could feel Stark nodding. "That was bad. But, ya know, I wouldn't be into forgiving someone who killed you, either."

"It would be like me forgiving Kalona for Heath," I said quietly.

Stark's arms held me closer. "Could you do that?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know--" I hesitated, my words stumbling.

He nudged me. "Go ahead. You can tell me."

I threaded my fingers through his and said, "In the Otherworld, when you were, uh, dead"--I could hardly speak the word and hurried on--"Nyx was there."

"Yeah, you told me that. She made Kalona pay his life debt for killing Heath, and bring me alive."

"Well, what I didn't tell you was that Kalona got super emotional in front of Nyx. He asked her if she would ever forgive him."

"What did the Goddess say?"

"She said to ask again if he was ever worthy of her forgiveness. Actually, Nyx sounded a lot like she did tonight when she was talking to Neferet."

Stark snorted. "Not a good sign for Neferet or Kalona." "Yeah, no kidding. Anyway, my point is, well, not that I'm pretending to be a goddess or anything like that, but my answer about forgiving Kalona is a lot like Nyx's to him and Neferet. I think real forgiveness is a gift someone has to earn, and I don't even have to worry about Kalona asking for my forgiveness unless he's worthy of even considering it, and I just don't see that happening."

"He set Rephaim free tonight, though." I could hear the conflicting emotions in his voice. I understood them. I had them, too.

"I've been thinking about that, and all I can figure is that somehow setting Rephaim free is going to benefit Kalona," I said.

"Which means we need to keep an eye on Rephaim," Stark said. "You gonna mention that to Stevie Rae?"

"Yeah, but she loves him," I said.

He nodded again. "And when you love someone you don't always see them realistically."

I drew back just far enough to give him The Look. "Are you saying that from experience?"

"No, no, no," he said quickly, giving me his tired, but cocky grin. "Not experience, just observation." Stark pulled gently and I curled against him again. "It's time for sleepin' now. Lay yur head, wumman, and let me get my rest."

"Okay, seriously, you sound creepily like Seoras." I looked up at Stark and shook my head. "If you start growing a white goatee beard thingie like his I'm gonna fire you."

Stark rubbed his chin with one hand like he was considering it. "You can't fire me. I've signed on for life."

"I'll stop kissing you."

"Nae beard for me, lassie." He grinned. I smiled back at him, thinking how glad I was he'd "signed up for life," and how much I hoped that meant he had his "job" for a very, very long time.

"Hey, how about this: you fall asleep first, and I'll stay awake for a while?" I cupped his cheek. "Tonight I'll guard the Guardian."

"Thank you," he said, being way more serious than I expected. "I love you, Zoey Redbird."

"I love you, too, James Stark."

Stark turned his head and kissed the inside of my palm and the intricate tattooing the Goddess had placed there. As he closed his eyes and his body began to relax, I stroked his thick brown hair and wondered briefly if or when Nyx would add to my incredible tattooing. She'd given me Marks, taken them away--or at least my friends said they went away while my soul was in the Otherworld--and then Nyx returned them to me again when I returned to myself. Maybe I was set now--maybe I wouldn't get any more. I was trying to decide whether that was a good or a bad thing when my eyelids got way too heavy to keep open. I thought I'd shut them, just for a little while. Stark was definitely sleeping, so maybe it wouldn't hurt anything ...

***

Dreams are so weird. I was having a dream that I was flying like Superman--you know, with my hands out in front of me kinda guiding me, and the theme music for the cool old Superman movies, the ones with the awesome Christopher Reeve, was playing in my head when everything changed.