Awakened (House of Night #8)(8)

"You've been hurt a lot because of me."

"Not because of you, Z. I've been hurt because that's what Darkness does-- it tries to destroy those of us who fight for Light."

"Yeah, well, I wish Darkness would pick on someone else for a while and let you rest."

He bumped me with his shoulder. "I knew what I was getting into when I swore myself to you. I was cool with it then--I'm cool with it now--and I'll still be cool with it fifty years from now. And, Z, it really doesn't make me sound very manly and Guardianlike when you say Darkness is `picking on' me."

"Look, I'm being serious. You want to know what's up with me, well, I've been worried that you might have been hurt too bad this time." I hesitated, fighting unexpected tears as I finally understood. "So bad that you weren't gonna get well. And then you would leave me, too."

Heath's presence was so tangible there between us that I half expected to see him step from the grove and say Hey there, Zo. No crying. You snot way too much when you cry. And of course that thought made it even harder for me not to bawl.

"Listen to me, Zoey. I'm your Guardian. You're my queen; that's more than a High Priestess, so our bond is even stronger than a regular Oath Sworn Warrior's." I blinked hard. "That's good, 'cause it feels like bad stuff keeps trying to tear me away from everyone I love."

"Nothing will ever take me away from you, Z. I've sworn my oath on it." He smiled, and there was such confidence and trust and love in his eyes that he made my breath catch in my throat. "You'll never get rid of me, mo bann ri."

"Good," I said softly, leaning my head against his shoulder as he drew me inside the half circle of his arm. "I'm tired of the whole leaving thing."

He kissed my forehead, murmuring against my skin, "Yeah, me, too."

"Actually, I think the truth is that I'm tired. Period. I need to recharge, too." I looked up at him. "Would it be okay with you if we stayed here? I-I just don't want to leave and go back to ... to..." I hesitated, not sure how to put what I was feeling into words.

"To everything--the good and the bad. I know what you mean," said my Guardian. "It's cool with Sgiach?"

"She said we could stay as long as my conscience lets me," I said, smiling a little wryly.

"And right now my conscience is definitely letting me."

"Sounds good to me. I'm in no rush to get back to all the Neferet drama that's gotta be waiting for us."

"So we stay for a while?"

Stark hugged me. "We stay until you say to go."

I closed my eyes and rested in Stark's arms, feeling like a huge weight had been taken off me. When he asked, "Hey, would you do something with me?" my response was instant and easy: "Yep, anything."

I could feel him chuckling. "That answer makes me want to change what I was gonna ask you to do." "Not that kind of anything." I gave him a little shove, even though I was feeling waves of relief that Stark was definitely acting like Stark again.

"No?" His gaze went from my eyes to my lips, and he suddenly looked less cocky and more hungry--and that look made my stomach shiver. Then he bent and kissed me, hard and long, and he completely took my breath away. "Are you sure you don't mean that kind of anything?" he asked, his voice lower and gruffer than usual.

"No. Yes."

He grinned. "Which is it?"

"I don't know. I can't think when you kiss me like that," I told him honestly.

"Then I'll have to do more of that kind of kissing," he said.

"Okay," I said, feeling light-headed and weirdly weak-kneed.

"Okay," he repeated. "But later. Right now I'm going to show you how strong a Guardian I am and stick to the original question I was gonna ask you."

He reached into the leather satchel that was strapped across his body and pulled out a long, narrow strip of the MacUallis plaid, lifting it so that it floated gently on the breeze. "Zoey Redbird, would you tie your wishes and your dreams for the future with me in a knot on the hanging tree?"

I hesitated for only a second--only long enough to feel the sharp pain that was the absence of Heath, the absence of a future thread that could never be--and then I blinked my eyes clear of tears and answered my Guardian Warrior.

"Yes, Stark, I'll tie my wishes and dreams for the future with you."

Chapter Four

Zoey

"I have to do what to my cashmere scarf?"

"Tear a strip from it," Stark said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I got the instructions straight from Seoras. That and a bunch of smart-ass comments about my education being sadly lacking and something about not knowing my arse from my ear or my elbow, and also something about me being a fanny, and I don't know what the hell that means."

"Fanny? Like a girl's name?"

"I don't think so..."

Stark and I shook our heads, in total agreement about Seoras and his weirdness. "Anyway," Stark continued, "he said the pieces of fabric have to be from something that's mine and something that's yours, and it has to be special to each of us." He smiled and tugged at my shimmery, expensive, beautiful new scarf. "You like this thing a lot, don't you?"