Awakened (House of Night #8)(74)

"None of the others had Stevie Rae," he said.

"It is true that she influenced your choice, but you had to be open to her and respond with Light instead of Darkness."

"That hasn't always been my choice. In the past I've done terrible things. These Warriors are right to want me dead," Rephaim said.

"Do you regret your past?"

"I do."

"Do you choose a new future where you pledge yourself to my path?"

"I do."

"Rephaim, son of the fallen immortal Warrior Kalona, I accept you into my service, and I forgive you for the mistakes of your past."

"Thank you, Nyx." Rephaim's voice was rough with emotion as he spoke to the Goddess, his Goddess.

"Will you thank me when I tell you that though I forgive you and accept you, there are consequences you must pay for the choices of your past?"

"No matter what comes next, for an eternity I will thank you. This I swear," he said with no hesitation.

"Let us hope that you will have many, many years to live up to your oath. Know then that this is your consequence." Nyx raised her arms as if she could cup the moon in the palms of her hands. It seemed to Rephaim she was gathering light from the stars themselves. "Because you have awakened the humanity within you, I will, each night from setting sun to rising sun, gift you with this: the true form you deserve." The Goddess hurled the glowing power that had coalesced between her hands at him. It shuddered through his body, causing a pain so terrible that he screamed in agony and crumpled to the ground. As he lay there, paralyzed, the Goddess's voice was the only sound that broke through to him. "To atone for your past, by day you will lose your true form and return to that of the raven, who knows nothing except the base desires of a beast. Consider well how you use your humanity. Learn from the past and balance the beast. So I have spoken--so mote it be!"The pain was beginning to recede and Rephaim was able to look up at the Goddess again as she opened her arms to take in everyone and said joyously, "I leave the rest of you with my love, if you so choose to accept it, and my desire that you will always blessed be."

Nyx disappeared in what looked like an explosion of the moon. The brightness of it was blinding, which didn't help Rephaim's lingering confusion. His body felt strange, unfamiliar, dizzy ... Rephaim looked down at himself. His shock was so intense he could not, for a moment, comprehend what he saw. Why am I inside a boy? passed through his jumbled mind. It was Stevie Rae's sobs that finally got through to him. He was able to focus on her and when he did, Rephaim realized she was crying and laughing at the same time.

"What has happened?" he asked, still not fully understanding.

Stevie Rae didn't seem to be able to speak because she just kept crying what looked like happy tears.

A hand came into his line of vision and he looked up to see the fledgling High Priestess, Zoey Redbird, smiling wryly at him. Rephaim took her offered hand and stood a little shakily.

"What's happened is our Goddess has zapped you into being a guy," Zoey said.

The truth hit him then and it almost drove him to his knees again. "I'm human. Completely human." Rephaim stared down at the strong, tall body of a young Cherokee warrior.

"Yeah, you are, but only during the nighttime," Zoey was saying. "During the day you're gonna be completely a raven." Rephaim barely heard her. He was already turning to Stevie Rae. He must have been knocked away from her when Nyx changed him, because she was no longer by his side. She took one small, hesitant step toward him and then stopped, looking unsure and wiping her face.

"Is it--is it bad? Do I look wrong?" he blurted.

"No," she said, staring into his eyes. "You're perfect. Absolutely perfect. You're the boy we saw in the fountain."

"Will you ... can I..." His voice trailed off. Rephaim was too filled with emotion to find the right words, so he moved instead, closing the space between Stevie Rae and him in two long, strong, totally human strides. With no hesitation he took her in his arms, and then he did what he had barely even allowed himself to do in his dreams. Rephaim bent and kissed Stevie Rae's soft lips with his own. He tasted her tears and her laughter, and finally he knew what it was to be truly, completely happy. So it was reluctantly that he pulled back and told her, "Wait. There's something I have to do."

Dragon Lankford was easy to find. Though everyone was staring at him and Stevie Rae, Rephaim felt the Sword Master's gaze distinctly. He approached Dragon slowly, making no sudden movements. Even so, the Warriors that stood to either side of him shifted, obviously ready to fight by their Sword Master's side once more.

Rephaim stopped in front of Dragon. He met his gaze and saw the pain and anger there. Rephaim nodded in acknowledgment. "I have caused you great loss. I make no excuses for what I was. I can only tell you that I was wrong. I do not ask you to forgive me as the Goddess has." Rephaim paused and sank to one knee. "What I ask is that you allow me to repay the life debt I owe you by serving you. If you accept me, for as long as I breathe I will, with my actions and my honor, attempt to atone for the loss of your mate."

Dragon said nothing. He only stared at Rephaim as warring emotions passed over his face: hatred, despair, anger, and sadness. Until finally they coalesced into a mask of cold determination.

"Get off your knees, creature." Dragon's voice was emotionless. "I cannot accept your oath. I cannot bear to look at you. I will not allow you to serve me." "Dragon, think about what you're saying," Zoey Redbird spoke up, walking quickly to Rephaim's side with Stark close by her. "I know it's hard--I know what it's like to lose someone you love, but you have to make a choice about how you go on from there, and it feels like you're choosing Darkness instead of Light."