Awakened (House of Night #8)(64)

My eyes found Dragon Lankford even before I looked at the funeral pyre. He was standing behind Jack in the shadow of the closest oak tree. But the shadows didn't cloak his pain. I could see tears falling silently down his chiseled face. Goddess help Dragon, was my first prayer of the night. He's such a good man. Help him find peace.

Then I looked at Jack.

What I saw made me gasp and smile through my tears. As was traditional for vampyre funerals, he'd been wrapped, head to toe, in the traditional vampyre shroud, but Jack's covering was purple. Super shiny. Super brilliant. Super purple.

"She actually did it." Erik's choked voice came from beside me. "I knew purple was his favorite color, so I went to The Dolphin at Utica Square and bought purple sheets. Lots of them. Then I told Sapphire over in the infirmary to wrap Jack in them, even though I didn't think she really would." I turned to Erik, went up on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. Jack would absolutely love that you did that. You were a good friend to him, Erik."

He nodded and smiled but didn't say anything, and I saw that he was crying again. Before I could join him and bawl so hard I couldn't possibly be mistaken for anyone's High Priestess, I looked away from him and my eyes found Damien. He was on his knees at the head of Jack's pyre. Duchess was sitting beside him and his chubby cat, Cammy, was curled up mournfully between his knees. Stark was standing next to Duchess and I could see that he was petting her and murmuring to the dog and Damien at the same time. Stevie Rae was next to Stark, looking super miserable and bawling steadily. Aphrodite stood at Damien's other side, with Darius right behind her. The Twins were to her left. And from each side of my group of best friends, the entire school stretched in a quiet, respectful circle around the pyre. Many of the fledglings and vampyres, including Lenobia and most of the other professors, were holding purple candles. It didn't seem like anyone except Stark was talking, but I could hear lots of sobbing. Neferet was nowhere to be seen.

"You can do it," Erik whispered.

"How?" I barely spoke the word.

"Like you always do--with Nyx's help," he said.

"Please, Nyx, help me. I can't do this on my own," I whispered aloud. And then Professor Missal was there, ushering me forward. So, moving with what I hoped were the confident strides of a grown-up real High Priestess, I walked directly to Damien.

Stark saw me first. When his eyes met mine I didn't see any hint of jealousy or anger, even though I knew Erik was walking right behind me. My Warrior, my Guardian, my lover, stepped aside and bowed formally to me.

"Merry meet, High Priestess." His voice rang over the school grounds. Everyone turned to me and it seemed, as one, the House of Night bowed, acknowledging me as their High Priestess.

It gave me a feeling like I'd never had before. Professors, vampyres hundreds of years old, and the youngest of fledglings were all looking to me--believing in me, trusting in me. It was as terrifying as it was awesome.

Do not ever forget this feeling, the Goddess's voice sang through my mind. A true High Priestess is humble as well as proud, and never forgets the responsibility that being a leader entails.

I stopped before Damien and bowed to him, fist closed over my heart. "Merry meet, Damien." Then, not caring that I was deviating from the vampyre funeral etiquette text that I'd read on the plane, I took Damien's hands and tugged, so that he stood up. I wrapped my arms around him and repeated, "Merry meet, Damien."

He sobbed once. His body felt stiff and he moved slowly, like he was afraid he might break into a zillion pieces, but he hugged me back really hard. Before I stepped away from him I closed my eyes, centered myself, and whispered, "Air, come to your Damien. Fill him with lightness and hope, and help him get through this night." Air responded instantly. It lifted my hair and wrapped around Damien and me. I heard him suck in a breath, and when he exhaled, some of the terrible tightness went out of his body. I stepped back and met his sad eyes. "I love you, Damien."

"I love you, too, Zoey. Go ahead." He nodded toward Jack's purple- shrouded body. "Do what you have to do. I know Jack's not really there anyway."

He paused and choked back a sob and then added, "He'd be glad it's you, though."

Instead of bursting into tears and falling to the ground in a soggy puddle like I wanted to, I turned to face the pyre and the House of Night. I drew two deep breaths, let them out, and with the third I whispered, "Spirit, come to me. Make my voice loud enough for everyone to hear." The element with which I have the closest affinity filled me and strengthened me. When I began speaking my voice was like a beacon from the Goddess, and it echoed with sound and spirit over the school grounds.

"Jack isn't here. In our minds we all understand that. Damien just said it to me, but tonight I want you all to know it." I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and I spoke slowly and distinctly the words that were Goddess-touched as they came to my mind. "I've been to the Otherworld and I can promise you that it is as beautiful and amazing and real as your hearts want to believe. Jack is there. He doesn't feel any pain. He's not sad or worried or scared. He's with Nyx in her meadows and groves." I paused and smiled through the brightness of tears. "He's probably frolicking gaily in those meadows and groves." I heard Damien's surprised giggle echoed by a few of the fledglings. "He's meeting familiar friends, like my Heath, and probably decorating like crazy." Aphrodite snorted a laugh and Erik chuckled. "We can't be with him right now." I looked at Damien. "It's hard. I know it's hard. But we can be sure that we'll see him again--in this life or the next. And when we do, no matter who we are or where we are, I promise you that one thing about our spirit, our essence, will stay the same: love. Our love lives on and will last forever. And that's a promise that I know comes straight from the Goddess." Stark handed me a long wooden staff that had something sticky wrapped around the other end of it. I took it, but before I walked to the pyre my eyes found Shaunee.