Awake at Dawn (Shadow Falls #2)(23)

"She knew I liked her," he said. "I sat with her almost every day at lunch."

"Yeah, but a boyfriend is supposed to do more than just sit with you at lunch."

"I know that," he smarted back. "And I would have ... I was just waiting for the right time."

"And why isn't now the right time?"

"It's too late," he said.

She shook her head. "You're really going to let a kiss come between you and someone you really care about? Are you that-"

"Stubborn?" he finished. "Yeah, it's part of being a shape-shifter. Which, obviously, you know nothing about because you almost got yourself killed."

"But if you care about her then-"

"Cared," he said. "I cared about her. Miranda's history." Little flickers of light started forming around him. "Oh," he said. "Thanks for trying to protect me the other morning. But seriously, don't ever do it again." The giant bird reappeared. The flap of its wings moving past sent Kylie's hair up in the air and at the same time a deep ache fluttered to the pit of her stomach.

The golden hue of light filling the office window met Kylie as she took that last turn. She stopped and let herself just stare at the window, remembering the somber look in Perry's eyes and wishing she could change that. Moving up the steps, she opened the door and called out Holiday's name so she wouldn't be worried about who visited at this ungodly hour.

"In my office," Holiday called back, and Kylie moved into the room. Holiday motioned for Kylie to sit down. Dropping into the chair, Kylie slumped back in the seat.

"Are you okay?" Holiday asked, sorting through a stack of mail. Kylie sighed. "Miranda's still depressed. I just ran into Perry, and I tried to talk to him but he's not listening. Not that he doesn't look as miserable as Miranda. He's not even making any jokes. Della is PMSing and therefore is losing her patience with Miranda because all Miranda wants to do is eat ice cream and whimper over losing Perry."

Kylie stopped to breathe for one second, then continued. She was babbling, but she couldn't stop. "Not that it's really Miranda or the PMS making Della so difficult. It's the idea of going home for parents weekend and spending it with her family. But Miranda, even when she's not depressed, has never liked dealing with Della's mood swings. So now, Della and Miranda are threatening to rip each other's hearts out and feed them to my cat. Actually, I think Della wanted Miranda's liver, it was Miranda who's going for Della's heart. So to answer your question ... No, nothing is okay."

Holiday looked up from the mail and offered one word. "Interesting."

"What's interesting?" Kylie had a vague flashback of being in Dr. Day's office and being psychoanalyzed.

Holiday's gaze shifted back to the mail. "Several things actually." She set a piece of mail apart from the others before looking up again. "But let's start with the fact that I didn't ask about Miranda, or Della, or Perry. I asked how you were doing."

"So I'm a freak because I care about my friends?" Kylie asked, suddenly feeling annoyed. And yeah, she was about to start her period, too, so it might be a bit of PMS. Or it could just be the hundred other problems sitting on her shoulders like an unhappy gorilla.

"I didn't mean to imply you were a freak." Holiday's soft, caring tone aggravated Kylie more than the psychoanalytical one. Probably because it made Kylie feel less like a freak and more like a bitch.

Holiday dropped her chin in her hands, a gesture so Holiday-like, that in Kylie's mind the camp leader's chin was permanently in her hand. "I was implying that I think you hide your own problems from yourself by concentrating on the problems of everyone else."

Kylie recalled that her reasons for her early morning jaunt to the office were not exactly about Perry or Miranda. So okay, maybe Holiday had a point. Not that Kylie really felt up to admitting it right now. "Then again, maybe I'm just a nice person." Kylie sank deeper in the chair and regretted getting pissy. None of Kylie's problems could be blamed on Holiday, and if anything, Holiday and their growing relationship was one of the few things that felt right in Kylie's life right now. For that reason, she offered an apologetic smile at the end of the sentence. "Nice? Oh, I don't doubt that." Holiday grinned. "So, let's try this one more time. How are you doing, Kylie?"

Kylie sat up and propped both her elbows on the desk. "How much time do you have?"

"However much time you need." Holiday let a few silent seconds pass and then asked, "What's going on with you and Derek?"

"Nothing. Why?" Kylie asked.

Holiday arched a suspicious brow. "I saw you skip out of the dining hall yesterday when he walked in, and the same thing happened at dinner."

"I just didn't want to talk to him." It was the truth. Part of it. Neither did she want anyone with the ability to read her emotions or smell her hormones to know how turned on she got by just looking at him. Until she could get her wayward thoughts in check, best not to be close to him in a crowd. Or alone, she admitted. And yeah, sooner or later she was going to have to explain that to Derek. Later being her first choice. "So something is wrong?" Holiday asked.

Kylie crossed her arms over her chest. "Am I imagining things, or didn't you just tell me to be careful not to..." She didn't want to say it out loud. "You warned me to be careful around him? And now that I'm being careful, you act as if that's wrong. What is it you want me to do?" Holiday pursed her lips to the side in thought. "Careful, yes. But I didn't mean for you to avoid him."