Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding #3)(24)

“Everyone has one. You probably just don’t know what it is,” he said, his eyes staring deeply into hers.

“Maybe.” She needed to move forward with this conversation.

She didn’t want him to convince her otherwise about Ramsey. Even if she was having a good time with John, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to be that person again.

“I didn’t really come here to talk about Ramsey.”

“I didn’t either,” he said, leaning forward in his seat. “I came for very different reasons, Lexi.”

Lexi flushed at the implication in his words and the sensual way in which he had said them.

“It’s over, John. I know I led you to believe this could be more than it is, but it isn’t,” she got out quickly. “We had sex—that’s all.”

“Do you think because we only had sex once that it was a one-night stand?” John asked curiously from across the table.

“I, uh…” Lexi said, unsure how to answer. It had been more than a one-night stand, but it couldn’t be anything more than that now.

“I can assure you that neither of us treated this as just a meaningless f**k. You can try to tell yourself that all you want…but you’re just lying to yourself.”

“Look, I don’t think it would be fair—”

“Oh, don’t give me fair,” he said, slamming his hand down on the table. “I don’t want fair!”

Lexi jumped at the fierceness in his voice that hadn’t been there before. He was really serious about all of this. From across the table, she glanced into his eyes and felt the anger simmering just under the surface. John took a breath and reached for her hand. He wrapped his hands over hers as he kept his eyes locked on her gazes.

“You don’t play fair, Lexi. So, why should I?”

“John,” she whispered.

“What has Ramsey ever done to make you want to take him back? Did he fight for you? Did he charm you? Did he make you forget all the reasons you had broken up with him in the first place?” John asked. “Because I’m not going to give you those reasons.”

God, something in all of this felt so…familiar. Maybe it wasn’t the words or the reasons for being here. It was just something in the tone, in his earnestness, in the way the night had progressed. Lexi couldn’t put her finger on it.

She stared at him, trying to decide what it was. He was looking back at her, begging for that chance that she so readily would give away under other circumstances. And yet, she wasn’t giving it to him. She couldn’t. How could she go back on Ramsey after only a week? She couldn’t even consider it.

Ramsey was the right choice. He was the one who she was supposed to be with.

But John didn’t remind her of Ramsey. They were very different people.

Lexi knew then why it all felt so familiar—the tilt of his head, the hidden smile, the gleam in his eyes…everything.

It was Jack.

And John didn’t even have blue eyes!

Lexi sighed heavily. She was over it. She was so over it. She never wanted to be susceptible to this charm again. The reason it had worked with Jack was because they’d had six or seven years of this…whatever. She didn’t even want to finish the thought. Of whatever they’d had. Past tense. They didn’t have it anymore. It was over. He had married the Bitch. Capital B, Bitch. And there was nothing she could do about it—at least not with Jack.

But she could be smarter and stronger with John.

Lexi pulled her hands out of his, tossed her napkin down, and stood. “I need to leave.”

John reached out, grabbing her elbow and keeping her from moving. “Where are you going?”

“I just…you don’t understand what I’ve been through. And you don’t understand what all of this is doing to me.”

“I’d like to know what it’s doing to you,” John said, his eyes traveling up and down her clingy black dress.

“See, that’s exactly it,” she said, taking a seat when people started staring at her. “There’s someone I know who’s a lot like you—who you’ll probably get to meet him now that you’re working on the Bridges medical wing. And…you don’t even compare to him.”

John’s eyes narrowed. The anger flared up easily at the comment. She knew it would. It was harsh.

She pushed forward anyway. “He can look me in the eyes, and I’m putty in his hands. Just one look—that’s all he needs. He doesn’t even need your words,” she said, wanting him to understand. “And I never want to be like that again. It’s destructive, and it’s…wrong for the other people in my life. So, I think I should go. If you think that I’m going to fall at your feet with a few charming words and a smile, you’re sadly mistaken. You’ve got the wrong girl. Because…I’m not that girl anymore.”

John cracked a smile, his arrogance returning. “There’s no comparison. Whatever happened in your past is simply that…your past. If you keep living in it, you’ll always compare—always. But I don’t want the girl who falls at my feet with a smile. There are plenty of those around. I like you—the one who puts up a fight.”

“So, is that it? You just like me for the chase then?” she snarled.