Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding #3)(18)

She diverted her eyes from the curve of his lips, those soft pleading eyes, the heady smell of him. She couldn’t help him. She wouldn’t.

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and he was so close that she could almost taste the familiar scent she associated with Jack. It was like musky cologne, sex, and tension all rolled into one delicious mix. Her nerves cracked at the feel of his hand against her earlobe.

“Stop it!” she cried, jumping off the couch, feeling the heat and adrenaline course through her veins.

“Lex, I’m not doing anything!” he yelled back, unable to control his temper. “You’re the one accusing me of cheating on Bekah!”

Lexi stormed across the room in a fury. She had been so in control around him that she hated getting this heated. She knew what her anger did to him, even if they hadn’t done anything in two years.

She just wanted to punch something. Here he was—after all that shit they had gone through—requesting the same goddamn thing of her all over again. It was like he hadn’t even considered what this would do to her.

“I haven’t done anything in the past two years to make you believe I have cheated on her,” he growled, standing angrily. “Tell me I’ve done something that makes you think that.”

Pressing her palms to her temples, Lexi shook her head back and forth. “It’s nothing you’ve done in the past two years. It’s everything that happened the seven before that.”

“You can’t always hold me accountable for the past. You’ve done bad things, too, Lexi. I’m not the only one! So, stop blaming me for everything. I’m trying…I’ve tried to be a better person. I’ve been successful in fact. So, can you please stop acting like I’m the same nineteen-year-old boy who you knew all those years ago? It’s not fair to me. After all the effort I’ve put in, the fact that you can come to me like this…I came to you as a friend. You are the only person I can still rely on.”

“Okay, I get it,” she grumbled, turning around slowly and putting up her hands. “I’m sorry, all right? It’s easy to fall back into what we…were.”

“I know,” he agreed, diverting his eyes.

“It’s easy to forget the wedding…and everything else that happened afterward,” she said wistfully.

Well, it hadn’t been easy at first, but she had gotten there with time. When she was around him, she just forgot the rest of the world. Even though they weren’t romantically involved anymore, he still had that same pull that she could never deny. He was just so…Jack.

“It is.” He looked up at her from across the room.

Their eyes locked, and from that distance, she could tell from his crystal-clear blue eyes that he was thinking the same thing she was thinking. It was a good thing he was so far away.

“I’m glad we’re past that,” she murmured, never breaking away from his gaze.

“I agree.” His characteristic smirk crossed his face.

“I wouldn’t be able to be around you if we were anything but friends.” She hoped she sounded convincing.

“Definitely not.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and tried not to look smug.

“So, I’m glad we have this…friendship,” she told him.

“Me, too.”

“It’s weird when you’re not in my life,” she admitted.

She wasn’t sure why she was admitting any of this right now. Maybe it was the familiar way he was looking at her. Maybe she was trying to pivot away from his ungodly request. Maybe it was the heated passion that sometimes flared up between them that she tried desperately to douse.

“I don’t like it,” he said, looking at her in a way that made it clear he was wondering where she was going with this line of conversation.

He ran his hand through his dark brown hair, letting each strand fall back into place. She wished it were longer. He used to let it fall into his eyes…those eyes. Now, it just hit his forehead. He looked good…professional. It suited him for the accounting career he had decided on, but it didn’t suit Jack.

The silence dragged on as Lexi and Jack stared at each other across the room. The tension was palpable. She didn’t know what to do or what to say. What Jack wanted from her, was out of the question. They had gone through too much and put up with too many years for her to agree to help him. It would only hurt the one relationship she hadn’t royally f**ked-up.

“What are you going to do about the divorce?” Lexi finally asked.

“What should I do?” His eyes searched her face for the answers that she had never had.

It was a more in-depth, determined, focused question than could be answered in words. She could feel years of questions hanging in the balance. She could feel years of desperation forced between them. She could feel years of heartache, destitution, and irreversible need roll off of every syllable.

“What happens if you and Bekah get a divorce?” she breathed, barely above a whisper.

She couldn’t believe she had asked it. She was engaged! It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what happened. Why did she even have to ask him that question?

The stretch of space between them had felt like a hundred miles growing every day since he had said, I do. Yet, here she was, the day after accepting Ramsey’s proposal, feeling the distance between them dissipating. She wanted to ignore it. She desperately wanted to ignore it. But what would she do if the Bitch no longer had her claws in him?