Avoiding Temptation (Avoiding #3)(110)

“Well, she probably deserved it.”

“Lexi, just lay off for one second. I walked out of her wedding for you. Don’t you think you could cut me some slack when it comes to her?”

No, she most certainty did not. Bekah was the epitome of evil. If they wanted to talk about people who had ruined her life, then Lexi would be sure to put Bekah right up there on the top. In fact, the more she thought about it, the angrier she got.

“We shouldn’t even talk about Bekah. I hate her.”

“She’s still my sister.”

“Well, it’s really clear that we don’t choose our family,” Lexi said.

“What are you even doing home this early?” he asked, changing the subject. He sank in the chair at his desk and rested his head in his hands.

She could see him hurting, and she wanted to find sympathy for him. She did feel sympathy for him…she really did. It probably hurt like a motherf*cker, finding out that he had been all wrong about the woman that he had been planning to marry. She couldn’t imagine going through something like that with Jack. She was glad there had never been a pregnancy scare. She didn’t know what she would have done in that situation.

But at the same time, all of this had happened years ago. And yeah, it was emotional and upsetting that he was just now discovering the truth, but it wasn’t the end of the world—not unless it changed something…changed the way he felt about Lexi or Parker or both.

“My boss let me out since I had to be in early the rest of the week. I came home because I hadn’t seen you, and I wanted to talk to you. We haven’t gotten a chance to talk since Chyna’s wedding.”

“What do we have to talk about?” he grumbled.

She hated doing this right now. He was already hurting, and this wasn’t going to make anything better. But she couldn’t hold back any longer. It was eating at her every day. She couldn’t keep things from him, not when it was impacting her this much.

“I want to postpone the wedding.”

Ramsey let loose a strangled cry at the words, and Lexi felt like her heart was breaking.

“You said it was okay…”

“I didn’t think you would actually want to do it.”

“So, you…lied?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

Ramsey stood slowly. He was so tall that he towered over her, even with the weight of everything that had happened holding down his shoulders. “I didn’t lie. I want to marry you whenever you’ll have me. I just worry about postponing.”

“Why?” she whispered, feeling like she knew what was coming.

He sighed and dropped his head before answering. “I’m afraid this is a reaction to what just happened, not a reflection of how you really feel. I promise it doesn’t change things with us, Lexi.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “This isn’t about Parker. This is me. This is my decision.”

“It just seems like you didn’t want to do it before, and now you do because of what just happened.”

“I’m telling you that I’m making up my mind about what I want. This is my decision. The pressure at work is too much. I don’t feel in control.”

“Are you ever going to be in control?” Ramsey asked, running his hand back through his hair. “You keep talking about control like you’ll ever have a grasp on it. If we ever had control over our relationships, then I wouldn’t have just found out about Parker’s miscarriage. That,” he said, pointing out the door that Parker had just left through, “that is what it’s like to be out of control. You just use it as an excuse.”

“An excuse? Seriously?” she growled. “It’s okay for you and Parker to be out of control but not for me? I get it. This was a mistake. I guess I shouldn’t have even brought this up to you.”

She whirled around and out the door. Rushing into their bedroom, she grabbed a change of clothes and an extra suit and stuffed them into a bag.

Ramsey appeared in the doorway a minute later. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking control,” she spat.

“Lexi, wait, wait, wait…you can’t leave,” he pleaded, grabbing for her bag.

“I’m sorry—what? I can’t leave?” She held the bag to her chest and away from him.

She turned to walk to the bathroom, but he blocked her path.

“I don’t want you to leave. That’s not taking control. That’s leaving.”

Lexi pushed him aside and walked into the bathroom. She dumped her makeup bag, a bottle of mousse, and her toothbrush into the bag. “That’s right. That’s leaving. I’m taking back the control in this situation. I flushed it down the drain two years ago when I let you make me think that Parker wouldn’t be an issue and that you would trust me.”

“I do trust you,” he pleaded, his voice rising hysterically.

“And Parker?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Lexi, please…”

“You’ll never let it go. If you would just let it go,” she said.

“I’ll let it go. Just don’t leave.”

He grabbed her around the middle and tried to get her to stay, to kiss him, to hold him, but she couldn’t. How could she stand there for another second, feeling this way? She was aching all over. Her body felt like it had been pounded into the ground from being overworked, and then when she had come home to see her fiancé, he was emotionally distraught over another woman. No, she couldn’t be in this house for another minute.