Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding #2)(153)

She placed both of her hands on his chest and attempted to separate herself from Jack. He didn't even seem to notice or acknowledge her efforts. His hands resting on her hips just held her more firmly in place. She couldn't believe this. He wouldn't even budge an inch. "Jack," she groaned still trying to shove him away, but he wasn't listening. He was a man possessed.

He hadn't had his lips on her in over a year, and she had wanted to keep it that way. After what had happened the last time, she hadn't wanted to be put in this position again. Somehow she always found herself kissing him. It happened when she wasn't expecting it and when it was the last thing that needed to happen in her life. But she wasn't a confused girl this time around, she knew better than to let this continue. She couldn't believe what she was about to do, but he wasn't exactly leaving her any other option.

Almost out of instinct, Lexi's knee hitched up and connected cleanly with his groin. Jack immediately broke free of her and doubled over in pain. "Fuck," he cried gasping for breath. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She could see his face was turning red and was contorted into agony.

Lexi had never kicked a guy in the ball before, but she knew the general motion and apparently had executed it properly. She just stood there over him and watched as tears came to his eyes as he held himself. For some reason that was ridiculously satisfying. He certainly didn't need to be using those things for anything in the near future, and he had been sexually harassing her.

"What the f**k was that Lexi?" Jack cried out as he put his head between his knees to ease the pain.

"What the f**k was that?" she asked him. "Are you joking? You were molesting me on the day of your wedding!"

"No need to knee me in my balls. Fuck," he cried out again relenting to sit helplessly on the floor.

"Oh you don't think so? What gives you the right to kiss me? You completely lost all privileges in that department when you proposed to Bekah. What kind of person kisses someone else on their wedding day?" she asked throwing her arms in the air. "Are you a f**king moron Jack? Do you know nothing of fidelity or loyalty or honesty or commitment? I think you have no concept of those things. You are the exact same person you are when I first met you. You haven't changed at all."

"You liked that person," he grumbled painfully.

"Oh don't even get me started on that front! You lied to me. You were dating someone else and you never even bothered to tell me. How could I ever have been fooled into thinking you would like and respect me after that, let alone think you could ever love me? You are too selfish to see anyone or anything else," Lexi spat at him.

"You weren't much better. You cheated on Clark," he mumbled taking deep breathes.

"It is my greatest shame, my biggest regret. You…you don't even know what those words mean. You never felt bad…never. You never wanted me to be first. Bekah was right about one thing, as much as I hate to admit that, but I always was second best to you. You never wanted me for me. You wanted me for the easy sex you got when we were talking. We had so many shots and you just blew it. You knocked it out of the park. You made us look like we could never be together." Lexi crossed her arms angrily thinking about how f**ked up their relationship had been for so long. She was just as angry with herself for putting up with it. She didn't care if she loved him or if she wanted to be around him or that they had this immediate attraction. She needed more than that and it was something Jack was never able to provide.

"I did want us to be together," he said glancing back up at her finally.

Lexi bent down to look at him at eye level. She couldn't believe how gorgeous his eyes still looked even as they were teared up and slightly red. But he would need more than the beautiful blue eyes she had always fallen for to get out of this conversation. "It took me a long time to realize how much of a liar you are."

"I'm not a liar, Lex. I always said I would tell you the truth," he whined.

Lexi shook her head. "You always said the words, but you only spoke the truth when it benefited you. And in that sense Jack, you have never changed."

"When did I lie to you?" he demanded. He doubled back over as he clutched himself. She had really done a number on him.

"When?" she asked with a cynical laugh. "You want me to make a list for you?"

Jack nodded. "When I honestly lied to you Lexi."

"I think your most telling moment Jack was when you told me that you wanted to be with me and then proposed to Bekah. If that isn't the biggest lie you've ever told, then I don't know what is," she spoke bitterly.

Jack raised his head and let his sad blue eyes rest back on her. "I did want us to work Lexi."

"But you proposed to her only hours after having sex with me!" she cried straightening up to avoid the prolonged eye contact. "That's disgusting."

"It's just…I thought we could be together, and then I saw you with Ramsey. I was…jealous," he murmured attempting to stand up.

"You were jealous of Ramsey?" she asked arching an eyebrow.

"Yea and apparently I had good reason to be. You guys were together for a year. You're here for him," he said with a shrug. He coughed twice trying to resist the bile that was rising in his throat. His lower half was throbbing in the most uncomfortable pain of his life. He felt like a tingly soreness had just fallen over his entire body and something was caught in his throat. He wouldn't be walking straight for awhile.