Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding #2)(134)
"Yes you were! Don't you dare lie to me!" Chyna said barely raising her voice but somehow making it more commanding than Lexi had ever heard before. "You were calling me for a way out. Well I don't have one. You need to talk to him! You need to get your answers. Just don't do it like you did with Jack last year."
"I wouldn't…it's not the same," Lexi said meekly.
"No it's not," Chyna agreed willingly. "You're not infatuated with Ramsey. The element of obsession is out of the picture which might be the best thing that could happen for you. If you really love him and not the way with Jack where he infects your very being, then you need to clear the air. At least then you'll never have to wonder. You'll never have to think about what it could have been."
Lexi knew she was right…hated to admit that she was right. She wanted to run. She wanted to high tail it in the opposite direction and not look back. The last thing she wanted to do was face down the man that she loved to find out once and for all why he had done this to her. Why he continued to lie to her. Why he continued to put her second best in his life. She wanted to be the strong confident woman that she knew she could be, but it was so difficult. The thought of confronting all of her fears left her frantic.
"I can practically hear your brain working over the line. What are you going to do?" Chyna asked.
Lexi sighed heavily circling the rather clean bathroom. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to fly back to New York and binge on chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with her best friend for the next couple days. But she also knew what she needed to do. She needed to stay and see this thing out. Wasn't that the whole reason she had gone through all this mess this week to begin with?
It wasn't going to be like the time with Jack. She couldn't possibly imagine Ramsey doing anything so terrible as proposing to Parker or something equally as ridiculous. She didn't trust Parker. She didn't particularly prefer them to be together, but Lexi didn't think they were at that stage. If there were any more secrets that she didn't know about, she wasn't sure how she would be able to handle it. But she knew now that she had to handle it.
"I'm going to stay," Lexi said with a note of finality in her decision.
Chyna let out a deep breath. "Thank God. I don't have to cancel the airlines tickets."
Lexi laughed at that statement. Chyna had so much money that she would probably just never get around to canceling the tickets. She wasn't concerned with that at all. However, this was the first Lexi had heard about her having airline tickets. "Where are you going?"
"Atlanta silly. You thought I was going to make you go through that wedding alone?" Chyna asked as if this was the most ridiculous thing she had ever considered.
"You're coming here?" Lexi asked loving how well her best friend knew her.
"Yes, well, I guess I should tell you the news," Chyna said almost hesitantly. Lexi waited anxiously for Chyna to explain. "Adam and I are kind of trying to be more serious again," she almost whispered.
Lexi's stomach dropped straight out of her body. She gulped hard taken off guard by the sudden revelation from her friend. Her and Adam had decided not to date once she had gone to Milan, and Lexi had more or less thought it was over between them. Chyna clearly still had a thing for him even if she hadn't admitted it, but she hadn't thought they had been seeing each other since they had been back. Chyna had been back to her old self of partying and random guys every couple nights. "Re…really?" she stammered out. "When…uh when did you guys start talking again?"
"I guess when you left," Chyna said and Lexi could hear the smile in her voice.
"Oh…uh that's great Chyna. I kind of thought that you and Adam were done."
"Me too. He'd been kind of aloof since we took our break, but this week has been better. He's coming to Atlanta with me actually. He said that he wanted to be my date and said something about needing to talk to you."
Lexi gulped. "Did he mention what it was?"
"I don't remember," she said waving away the statement. "Didn't seem that important at the time."
"I'm sure it's nothing," she murmured into the phone thankful that Chyna wasn't listening too clearly to her tone.
"Well we'll be in tomorrow before the wedding. Call me and let me know how things go with Ramsey. Love ya chica," she said before ending the call.
Lexi leaned back against the cold marble counter top and allowed her vision to go hazy and her breathing to slow. That conversation had done less to prepare her for her conversation with Ramsey than she had thought. It suddenly felt like everything was starting to catch up with her. She hadn't wanted to think about anything else when she was mentally preparing herself to deal with Ramsey. Yet here she was lost in her own world unable to get out of her own mind. She had so much going through her mind that she would have to steel her mind for what was about to happen over the next day.
The door creaked open and an elderly woman walked in. She waddled over to a stall keeping her eyes downcast as if she didn't want to know for what reason Lexi could possibly be leaning against the counter, glassy-eyed, and unmoving. Lexi was sort of grateful that social propriety dictated that people stay out of each other's business. The woman washed her hands and made a hasty exit. Just as the door was swinging closed, Lexi heard a voice that she had been anticipating.