Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(158)

Where had the fun, easy going guy that worked in the coffee shop and brought her muffins after class gone? Where was the guy who had taken her to the carnival and paid the guy to stop them on the top? Where was the guy who got her on the gymnastics team, who marveled in her every achievement, who followed her to New York, who would have followed her to the world's end? Had that man left a long time ago and she had just missed it?

A part of her, and she wasn't sure how large that part was, realized that this was her fault. Her continual desire for him had only pushed him to compensate for her affections. They had been playing this game for six years now and it had changed him. He couldn't hold back any longer. He lacked self-control and his selfish and self-righteous behavior only intensified his demeanor. Somewhere in their past, they had mutually agreed that cheating was somehow alright. She didn't know where that began, if it was the first time he had asked her out, the first time she had gone to see him knowing she wasn't available, or that moment on the pier which changed everything, but it had begun.

And that's how she knew this moment in time was partly her fault. The sex just before the proposal was just like old times all over again. She had attempted to fight him, but she couldn't fight Jack. When he was persistent, and damn was he persistent, he got what he wanted when he wanted it. That is how it had always been. That is how she had let it become. Cheating was as much a part of them as breathing, no matter how much Lexi tried to fight it.

However, she had made it pretty clear, up until last night, that she had realized her mistake and wasn't going to continue on that path. If Jack hadn't run in New York, she would have taken some time away from him. She had wanted to show him that what he had done was not right. They had cheated and deluded themselves into thinking it was alright, but it wasn't and it never would be. Had she been given the chance she would have done things so different, but he had run and she had never been given the opportunity to correct his error. Then when the moment of truth had come out in the hallway, she had given in all over again. A moment she was afraid she would regret for the rest of her life.

But the other part of her knew that this was just as much Jack's fault, if not more. He had been the first to cheat. He had been the first to tell her that it was always going to be okay, that they could just be friends, that it didn't matter what they had done rather what they felt. He had never given up.

And up until today, she thought he had always kept that one important promise that had saved them through so many battles. He had promised that he would never lie to her. Through everything he had told her exactly what was going on and exactly what happened. He had even told her when he had cheated on her with his roommate, Stella. He told her things she hadn't wanted to know and emotions she couldn't imagine him feeling. Yet, she realized, through her mind clouded with anger, Jack had lied to her all along.

Because he had always said that he wanted to be with Lexi, and it was pretty obvious now that that was simply not the case.

The memory of Jack pulling out an exquisite wedding ring and all but proposing was still fresh in her mind. She could remember every little emotion she had felt that day from his confession, to her depression, to his attempt at making amends.

And now her ring, her ring, was on that bony, blonde, bitch's finger.

Lexi reared back and with every ounce of force she possessed in her tiny body slapped Jack clear across the face. His head snapped sideways with the momentum of her strike. Her breathing was heavy and uncontrollable fury was ricocheting throughout her entire body. She could hear Jack's ragged breaths in front of her, but she couldn't even stand the sight of him after what he had done. She heard Bekah gasp and rush forward as if to do something about what had happened, but something in Lexi's eyes must have stopped her in her tracks. Lexi wasn't certain what she looked like in that moment, but she was sure it wasn't something that anyone would want to deal with.

"What the…" Jack cried bringing his hand up to his face to rub his jaw line.

"What is wrong with you?" Bekah cried still staying far enough out of Lexi's reach.

"At the moment, everything is wrong with me," she spat back at Bekah.

"How dare you react like this to the news of our proposal! Now I knew that you still had feelings for Jack, but honestly this is just ridiculous. Coming here, hanging all over him, and then slapping him when you have news of our engagement?" Bekah asked angrily. "That is childish and completely uncalled for. I think you should exit the premises."

"Childish and uncalled for, honestly?" Lexi cried out. She couldn't even form clear words to tell Bekah how absolutely ridiculous her statements were. How could you explain to a woman who was crazy about weddings and had just been proposed to that her ring was never meant for her? Could she break the news to her?

Sure she had never liked Bekah, but she couldn't shatter her dreams just because she was angrier at Jack then she ever had been in her life. Actually, she might be angrier then she ever had been in her life. Bekah was a little nuts, but Lexi still wasn't capable of destroying the woman. She would figure it out in her own time if Jack was what was right for her.

And anyway, Lexi agreed with her. Perhaps, she should leave the premises. There was no need for her to stay here and make a fool of herself any longer. Jack had crushed her. That was all there was to it. He didn't want her any longer. He had given her ring to Bekah, which just proved that more than anything else ever could.