At Peace (The 'Burg #2)(44)

“Joe, where are we going?”

“You shut it too,” Joe growled at me and I felt my chest squeeze because he was still pissed but now it seemed he was pissed at me.

“Joe –” I began but he pulled me up his steps, through his opened sliding glass door and he threw it closed.

Then he backed me up against the wall by the door, his body got in my space and he got in my face.

“What’d you think?” he was still growling and I was breathing hard, not knowing what was happening.

It was the dead of night. How was it that one minute I was sleeping, the next minute I was listening to Tina shrieking, the next minute I was listening to Joe be threatening and the next minute I was in his house, he was in my face and he was pissed at me?

He was right, I’d been a bitch to him but not recently, it had been hours ago.

“Joe, I wanna go home,” I said quietly.

He ignored my request. “Tell me what you thought.”

What I thought at that moment, was maybe I should answer his demand, perhaps that might help, though I didn’t understand his demand which was a problem.

Therefore, tentatively, I asked, “Thought about what?”

“About us.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I make a promise to you in my sleep or something?” Joe clipped.

I was again whispering when I said, “No.”

“I f**ked you when you were drunk, not that drunk, buddy, but I’ll admit, you were drunk. And I f**ked you on the hood of my car. But you walked across your yard to get to me twice. How does any of that translate into a promise from me?”

“You didn’t promise me anything, Joe,” I told him and realized then he didn’t.

“So what’s your f**kin’ problem?”

“I don’t have one.” Or at least I didn’t anymore.

I had read something into it just because of some reflex action he had when I told him I had to go, when he’d called me baby and when he made some mention about me not wearing shoes. That was it and there was nothing there except what I was so sad and lonely I twisted into something I wanted to see. He’d given no indication that it was anything more than what he said it was.

Just sex.

“Yeah you do,” Joe clipped.

I shook my head. “No, really, I don’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“I don’t.”

“I’m not gonna be a dick to your daughters because you tell me to and I’m not gonna put up with your shit because you read somethin’ into what happened.”

“Okay,” I agreed quickly.

“I don’t need to walk out of my house and run into your wall of attitude.”

“You won’t,” I promised.

“You’re standin’ there tremblin’, scared outta your f**kin’ skull even though I’d never f**kin’ hurt you, tellin’ me what I wanna hear. How do I believe you?”

“Um…” I treaded cautiously but pointed out, “You did kind of drag me to your house in the middle of the night.”

“We need to work this shit out,” he stated in a way that made it clear that he thought dragging me to his house was a perfectly natural thing to do.

“We could have maybe done it over coffee or something,” I carefully suggested an alternative.

“Yeah? Last four times I spoke to you, you acted like a bitch, told me to f**k off, told me you hated me, you gonna have coffee with me now?”

“I make pancakes every Sunday morning, you’re welcome to come over,” I offered.

I didn’t actually want him to come over, I wanted him to let my arm go and I wanted to get the f**k out of there.

“Don’t be scared of me, Violet,” he warned.

“That’s kind of hard when you’re bein’ scary, Joe,” I explained.

When I told him this, instantly he let me go and stepped back.

Then he growled, “Go home.”

I just stood there, staring at him in the dark.

Then hesitantly, sounding stupid, I asked, “Are you coming over for pancakes?”

“Yeah, buddy, I’ll be over to your house for f**kin’ pancakes,” he clipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure you can’t wait.”

“Joe –”

“Go home.”

“Joe –”

“Go home, Violet.”

“I kind of need my remote,” I whispered.

He didn’t move so I did, taking a cautious step toward him my hand lifted, palm up. He didn’t put the remote in my hand. Instead, he tossed it into a chair and then I was in his arms and his mouth had slammed down on mine.

I shouldn’t have let it happen, I knew that, but I did.

And I did because firstly, I was f**king thrilled he wanted to kiss me. Secondly, because this time I knew the rules to his game. And lastly, and most importantly, I loved him kissing me. I’d been hungry for it for weeks and having it back, I was going to take it.

The first time we had sex, it was a battle which he won.

This time, it was war.

I didn’t know if it was the last time I’d have him. The times before, he let me take a little but most of the time Joe took what he wanted from me.