At Peace (The 'Burg #2)(126)

Then he looked back at me.

“Been patient,” he said softly, I opened my mouth to speak, he shook his head and I closed my mouth. “Please tell me, while you been draggin’ me along, you didn’t start f**kin’ him again.”

“I wasn’t dragging you along,” I whispered.

“Yeah, sweetheart, you were.”

I always liked it when he called me sweetheart but the way he did it then, I didn’t like.

“No, Mike, I wasn’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ve been honest with you.”

“You f**kin’ him again?” he asked.

“Absolutely not,” I answered.

“Why you wearin’ his shirt?”

I considered lying, telling him it was Tim’s but Mike and I weren’t about that and, I pulled this through, I didn’t want to do it by making us about that.

“It’s comfortable.” At least this was true.

“He take you to the funeral?” Mike asked and how he knew that I didn’t know.

I nodded. “Only because Kate asked him to.”

“You wouldn’t let me do it, but you let him?”

“Mike, Kate asked him to.”

“And I asked you to let me do it.”

“Honestly,” I whispered, beginning to lose it, beginning to wonder why I cared, beginning to wonder why I f**king got out of bed at the same time throwing the phone on the couch. “I don’t have the energy for this.”

“I know life’s shit for you now, Violet, but serious to God, this shit is f**ked.”

“What shit?” I asked.

“You bein’ with me but him takin’ you to the funeral and him leavin’ your house the morning after.”

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“Tina Blackstone stopped by the Station, felt the boys needed donuts, even though the bitch has never done that before in her f**kin’ life. Brought three dozen of them from Hilligoss, stayed while the boys ate, ran her mouth, enjoyed doin’ it.”

That bitch!

I stared at Mike a minute, allowing my blood pressure to drop.

Then, deciding to deal with Tina later, I affirmed, “He spent the night.”

“But he didn’t f**k you?”

“No, Mike,” I told him, losing patience, it was slipping away and it was doing it fast, “he didn’t f**k me. Kate’s attached to him, she asked him to spend the night. She’s feelin’ a bit unsafe, seein’ as her father and uncle have been murdered by the man who’s stalking me. So we got home in the middle of the night and she wanted him to stay. He did. This morning he made sure the girls got off safe with Dane and his folks and he left. I didn’t even get out of bed. I didn’t even say good-bye to my babies.”

My voice was choked when I finished speaking and Mike’s face changed, the anger ebbed out, gentleness swept in and he took a step forward.

I took two back and he stopped.

“Sweetheart,” he murmured.

That’s how I liked him to call me “sweetheart”.

But I shook my head and I told him, “It’s over.”

He blinked, slow, then asked, “What?”

“I’m sellin’ the house. The girls and me are movin’ to Arizona.”

“Honey.”

I was still shaking my head. “He’ll f**k with me, Mike. He killed Tim, he killed Sam and, still, he’ll f**k with me.”

Mike moved forward, I moved back but he came at me faster and caught me in his arms. I forgot why I was retreating, put my hands to his chest and dropped my forehead between them.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I whispered. “You, Joe, Bea, Mel, Mom bein’ a bitch, buryin’ Sam, Vinnie, Theresa, Manny, Benny, Daniel Hart, it’s all too much. I can’t do this anymore.”

Mike was quiet, he just held me in his arms as I fought back the tears.

When I won and did it on a sigh, he spoke. “Darlin’, I don’t even know who half those people are.”

The way he said it, I laughed, turned my head and pressed my cheek to his chest.

Then I wrapped my arms around his waist and his arms got tighter.

“I was a dick,” he said into my hair, “comin’ in here, givin’ you that shit.”

I let him off the hook. “You weren’t. You were just a man.”

“Well, yeah, I am that.”

I pressed my cheek closer and gave him a squeeze. “Yeah.”

“Girls aren’t here, want you with me tonight.”

I closed my eyes and didn’t lift my head, nor loosen my arms when I said with all seriousness, “Mike, I wasn’t joking. I need to let you go.”

I felt his body grow still when he asked, “Why?”

I tipped my head back then and said, “In case you hadn’t noticed, men in my life end up with bullets in their heads.”

“Sweetheart –”

“And I’m entirely f**ked up.”

“Vi.”

I took an arm from his waist, placed my hand against his cheek and whispered, “And you deserve better than that.”

“How ‘bout you let me make that decision?” he whispered back.