Asylum (Causal Enchantment #2)(12)
I exhaled noisily, flopping back into my pillows. “Oh, thank God.”
His deep chuckle filled my head. You’ll never have a regular bad dream again without thinking it’s real, will you?
Reaching up, I fumbled with the black heart pendant. “Not while this blasted thing is around my neck.” The gift from Sofie was my death sentence if Viggo or Mortimer got hold of me. I lay quietly, replaying the nightmare in my head. As horrific as it was, it had allowed me a glimpse into the recesses of my mind, into my memories of Caden. Memories of what I loved. I needed to hold that in a death grip. If it meant reliving the aftermath, I would do it over and over again, night after night, I realized. But how many times would I wake up to the same inevitable end? How long would I need to torture myself with that fear before I could put it past me?
Staring up at the ceiling, I noticed the cloud billowing above me as my hot breath condensed in the room’s frigid air. I shuddered, pulling the heavy duvet up around my neck to ward off the cold. “Why couldn’t Sofie send us somewhere tropical?” I grumbled.
Max’s deep laughter rumbled inside my head again as he climbed up onto my bed. The bed creaked as if threatening to collapse under his weight, but he didn’t seem bothered as he flopped down to take up three-quarters of the mattress and share his body heat.
“So glad I amuse you,” I said, pushing myself up to sit cocooned within my covers and scan the tiny room, now bathed in wan morning light. A cedar wardrobe sat in one corner and a matching chest of drawers in another, next to the wing chair that Leo had occupied earlier. A simple room, sparsely furnished. Except for the artwork, I thought, focusing on an oil painting hanging on the wall opposite me. A little blonde girl sat on a swing with two young women, one blonde, the other a redhead, standing to either side behind her, as if both were pushing her. The minty green eyes caught my attention immediately. Sofie. Swinging my eyes to the other woman, I recognized the face of my mother. There was no doubt. “Sofie painted that?” I asked Max, my eyes locked on the portrait.
Yup. And that one.
His muzzle swung to the wall directly behind me and I followed it to another oil portrait of two women, standing side by side. I recognized the one on the left as me as I was now, an adult. It could be a mirror image, Sofie’s depiction was so accurate. The woman on the right was my mother. Seeing us side by side, I now saw my uncanny resemblance to her. It was shocking, how similar we looked, though I had never realized it before. “How many more of these paintings are there, Max?” I asked in awe, my focus sliding back and forth between the two faces.
He chuckled. Think of it as a parent putting up framed pictures of her child.
I guessed the answer was “a lot.” A shiver ran down my spine, the idea that I had unwittingly modeled as a vampire sorceress’s muse for the past eighteen years unsettling.
Her favorite place to watch over you was at the park.
A second shiver ran down my spine. Watch over me. That was Sofie. And Max. Both of them had shadowed me my entire life without my knowledge, watching a child as any parent with severe obsessive tendencies would. “Will she always be there?” I asked aloud.
Until you’re out of danger. And even then, the ties will be tight until . . . the end.
“The end,” I repeated softly, catching the certainty in Max’s voice. It wasn’t a question of if, but of when. I turned to regard Max’s golden eyes, too perceptive for any canine. There was sadness in them. “When is ‘the end’ for me, Max?”
Silence filled the room as Max shut his eyes. I will protect you from vampires and witches with every fiber of my body. But I can’t protect you from the curse of humans. The curse of expiration.
“You mean just plain getting old?” I said, smiling softly.
Max grunted in assent.
Join me or die. Their whispers suddenly swirled inside my head. I had forgotten until now. I swallowed, then heard myself say aloud, “Not if I become one of them.” A bizarre form of hope blossomed inside me. Why shouldn’t it? Why would I stay human? There was nothing left to cling to in my human life. I could be one of them and be safe, be with Caden and the others forever. If I joined them, Sofie and Max wouldn’t need to watch over me. I would become the predator. I wouldn’t need to be protected from anyone, including Caden.
I hadn’t given it a thought since the first time I’d questioned Sofie about it, weeks earlier. At the time it was hopeless, because the pendant’s magic wouldn’t allow my conversion. But maybe now . . .
As long as that black heart hangs around your neck, your soul is still entwined with Veronique’s, Max confirmed.
“Of course.” I touched the pendant again, running my thumb over its smooth surface. Somehow I had known that would be the answer. My dream had all but told me. This, the pendant that Sofie couldn’t figure out how to remove, the noose around my neck, ruling my actions, confining me, cursing me, was a prize to everyone else, something desirable, something to kill for. The urge to yank the stupid thing off suddenly overwhelmed me. I needed it off if I wanted any hope for a life—human or vampire.
Max must have read the despair in my face because he quickly added, If anyone can figure out how to get it off, Sofie can. He finished with a reassuring bump against my shoulder. It didn’t help.
The bed creaked in loud relief as Max slid off. You should eat. He strode over to the door and used his mouth to pull the lever handle down. The door swung open.