Anything for You (Blue Heron #5)(78)

A house like Connor’s would be perfect.

She snapped her laptop shut. Wishful thinking, she believed that was called. Today had been a big step backward in their relationship.

Maybe it was better if this ended quickly.

Or if they could go back to the sneaking around. Dancing together at the reunion...that had been both terrifying and the most wonderful thing ever, being there out in the open, everyone knowing...and judging. The other night, when Ned stayed home with Davey, Connor took her out to dinner in Geneva, the first time they’d been in the same restaurant at the same time and neither had been working. It had been strange. And wonderful, if nerve-racking. The whole time, she’d been thinking, So this is what normal people do.

She’d also been worrying about what happened when Connor got tired of this.

It wasn’t that Jess felt as though she was a bad person. It was just that she felt a little...well...dismissible in the grand scheme of things. She’d failed every single time she’d tried to get her parents to sober up, and while she’d read all the literature, she couldn’t help feeling that if she’d just been better, or smarter, or nicer, she would have found a way.

Yes, she was glad her father was sober, though how long he’d stay that way was anyone’s guess. But it hurt that he’d only gotten that way when he’d been long away from her. All those talks, the pleading and begging from his own daughter, hadn’t done the trick. She hadn’t been enough.

No one except Connor had ever wanted more than sex, not even Levi. Levi sure hadn’t fallen in love with her (nor she with him, but still). And back in high school, once sex was over, guys didn’t exactly bring her home to their mothers. Despite her popularity in parked cars, not one boy asked her to the prom. She had to wonder if Connor was just fixated on her, and if, sooner or later, he’d learn what all those other guys had figured out long ago—she really wasn’t relationship material.

A boyfriend... She didn’t know how to have a boyfriend. When she and Connor had been out the other night, she’d racked her brain for fun and interesting things to talk about...and came up empty. That was why women like Marcy tended to drain the blood from her veins. The never-ending stream of confidence, whereas sometimes Jess felt as tired and gray as an old dishcloth.

She was hardworking. She was loyal. She believed she had a good heart. But it was hard to imagine she deserved the best guy in the world. He liked her. He said he loved her. And he still didn’t know everything about her, about what she’d done to Davey.

But he’d kissed her at the reunion. He put that idiot Jake on his ass for her, and while it was all very medieval, she owed him at least an attempt.

“Hi, Jess!” Her brother banged into the kitchen and threw down his backpack.

“Hey. I didn’t hear the bus.”

“Guess what? I’m picking out a dog for Connor O’Rourke.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

THE MANNINGSPORT ANIMAL SHELTER was like the Four Seasons for the Four-Legged, with hardwood floors, ambient lighting and a large, fenced-in dog park. The Cat Community Room, whatever that was, had dozens of carpeted perches and strange little bridges and structures to prevent boredom, according to the brochure in the foyer. And the Dog Lounge looked hauntingly similar to Connor’s living room.

“Hey, dude!” Bryce Campbell called as Connor walked in. Last summer, Bryce had sunk a hefty sum into what was then a very modest, typical animal shelter and now ran the place. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m looking for a dog.”

“Awesome. I’ll give you the family discount.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Technically, Bryce was Colleen’s cousin-in-law, and now, since Bryce dated Paulie, and once Mom and Ronnie got married in a few weeks, Paulie would be his stepsister, so Bryce would be something. It was complicated. But Bryce was a good guy. Always smiling, extremely bright blue eyes.

He wondered abruptly if Jessica had slept with Bryce.

It was possible. He’d never asked for names. He knew some, since the guys had been pretty proud of it back in the day, but...well, shit. It didn’t matter.

“What kind of dog are you looking for?” Bryce asked.

“I don’t know. Something kind of easygoing and low maintenance.”

“Purse dog?”

“What’s that?”

“You know. Like Honor Holland’s dog. Fits into a purse.”

Hell, no. “Something a little bigger. But not huge, either, not like Rufus.”

Bryce nodded. “Here’s your paperwork, bro. Fill it out and we can get looking.”

“I’m waiting for Davey Dunn to help me pick one out.”

“Cool. Yeah, he’s great. Comes here a lot to play with the dogs, keeps me company.”

“Hey there, Connor.” Keith Dunn came in, Davey in tow.

That was something, Jess letting her father be in charge of Davey. Oh, but wait, Gerard Chartier was here, as well. That made more sense.

“Hi, Bryce!” Davey bounced over and high-fived their host. “Can I show my dad the cats?”

“Sure, dude. You know the way.”

“Bryce, got any reading material for me?” Gerard asked. “I’ll just hang here while you guys help Connor pick his puppy.” He grinned at Connor and accepted the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition from Bryce.