Anything for You (Blue Heron #5)(55)

Instead, she was here, waiting for her worst nightmare to arrive.

Felicia returned with her beer, gave her a smile, then went to wait on a large party that had just come in.

Shit on a shoelace. Jess felt suddenly, horribly alone.

And then, like a miracle, there was Pru and Carl, Honor and Tom. Felicia led them to a table a little ways away; out of earshot, but close enough. Honor gave her a reassuring nod, Tom a little salute. Carl waved, but Pru came over.

“I happened to run into your father today,” she said. “Asked him why he was back in town, and he said he wanted to make amends. He mentioned you were coming here. Thought you could use a little backup.”

Sometimes a knight in shining armor was actually a woman dressed in flannel. “Thank you,” Jess whispered.

“We’re here. But you got this, Jess. You do.”

It was very, very hard not to cry. Prudence smiled at her. “Besides, Carl and I have exhausted every superhero sex game we can think of. We’re going old-school tonight. Just two middle-aged married people having dinner with family.”

Jess gave a shaky laugh.

“Good luck, hon.” With that, Pru went over to her husband.

For most of her life, Jess had hated the Holland family, hated them for being everything her family wasn’t. And here they were, backing her up. Being her friends.

This was going to be an emotional night.

Jess took a sip of the beer just to remind herself that she could. She was better than her parents. She’d never been drunk in her life.

Then in he came. Looked around the restaurant, saw her and smiled.

It was the first time Jess could recall seeing him at Hugo’s sober, since he used to visit her here when he needed her tip money for an “emergency.” Happy times, Keith talking too loudly, Jess trying not to have their business broadcast to everyone, inevitably giving him money to make him go away.

Now, Keith walked over to her table, and Jess’s hands curled into fists. She was sweating. Hopefully, she looked like fury encased in ice.

“Hi, Jess. I really appreciate you meeting me,” he said. “Is it all right if I sit down?”

“Sure.”

He looked healthier, Jess had to give him that. His bright blue eyes weren’t bloodshot; his shirt wasn’t stained. And aside from a few lines around his eyes, he was the same.

“You look incredible,” he said, smiling. “You look like you could be the President, you’re so classy.”

“Why are you here?” she asked. No point in bullshitting.

“I want to make amends.”

“The program works if you work the program?” Hey. She knew AA. Or at least, she knew Al-Anon. Some kids in high school played soccer, some were in drama club, some worked twenty hours a week and went to meetings for kids whose parents were drunks.

“Exactly,” Keith said.

“Don’t get your hopes up.” She took a slow, deliberate sip of beer.

“My hopes are pretty low,” he said, his eyes on the drink. He tapped his forefinger against the tablecloth. “Jessie, I’ve been sober for one thousand and fifteen days.” He fished something out of his pocket. A coin from AA. Big deal. You could buy those on Amazon, probably.

“Congratulations. Don’t come around here anymore.”

“I’d like to have you and Davey back in my life.”

“Permission denied.”

He nodded, not quite looking at her. “You’re angry, I understand that. And I can’t undo what I did. But I love you and Davey—”

“No, you don’t.”

“I have a disease, Jessie.”

“I don’t want to hear it. Mom had a disease, remember? She died, if you recall, and right after that, you blew out of town, took out three credit cards in my name and put me fourteen grand in the hole while I waitressed to support your disabled son.”

There was a clatter from the Holland table. Jess had the impression that Pru had just grabbed a sharp object, God bless her.

“Yes,” Keith said. “I did all those things. And I regret them, and I’ll never do them again, and I am very, very sorry.”

“I don’t care. I really don’t. You’re as dead to me as Mom.”

He looked out the window, blinking. “I’d like to earn a place in your life, Jessie. And Davey’s. I’ve been sober for almost three years.”

“So what? Davey’s all grown up, and I’ve finally managed to get out of that trailer park. I have a decent job with health benefits. We don’t need anything from you.”

“I’d like a chance to do better.”

“I’m thirty-two years old. I don’t need a daddy. Not anymore.”

“Davey might.”

Her hands went ice cold. “Well, I’ve been mother and father to him all these years, so if you think you’re going to waltz in here and take him to a ball game or a movie and make everything right, think again. Best thing you can do for us is leave and never come back.”

“I have a job at the salt plant over in Dundee. I rented a little place there. I’m here to stay, honey. And I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll make this up to you.”

“How do you make up someone’s childhood? How do I get a do-over on that, huh?”