Anything for You (Blue Heron #5)(107)

Anything to avoid thinking about Jessica.

The bar gleamed under the amber lights. There really wasn’t anything else he could do here. He’d go home, wake up Lady Fluffernutter and take her for a walk, avoiding Putney Street, so he wouldn’t have to see Jessica’s new house.

He went out the back door, locked it and breathed in the smell of shale and water, a little garlic lingering in the air from the pasta carbonara special.

The night was as quiet as a closed casket. Aren’t we cheerful, Colleen’s voice said in his head.

“Hey, Connor.”

He jumped. “Jess.”

She was sitting on the split rail fence between O’Rourke’s and the library courtyard, and got down. “How’s it going?”

“Uh...good.” As it had for the past twenty years, her beauty hit him right in the chest. Even now, when she wasn’t smiling and was wearing that three feet away face he knew so well.

He guessed she was here to chew him out about going to see Davey at work the other day. “How’s your new place?”

“Oh. Um, it’s nice. We moved in this past weekend.”

“I saw. You had quite a crew helping you.” She hadn’t asked him, needless to say. She had asked the rest of the fire department, more or less. “How is it, living in the Village?”

“It’s...it’s fine. It’s good. Look, I’ll get right to it. Would you like to get back together?”

He blinked. Twice.

One thing he could say about Jessica Dunn. There was no predicting her.

She grabbed her thumb and twisted the ring she always wore. “I’m sorry I freaked out about the cooking classes. I mean, I think I had some valid points, but... Anyway. I overreacted.”

He didn’t say anything. Felt his heart pumping too hard.

“So what do you think?” She cleared her throat. “We could go back to how things were.”

Ah. Wasn’t there an old movie called something like that? The Way We Were? His mother had watched it a lot after Dad first left. It didn’t end well, Connor was pretty sure.

“What do you say?” she asked.

“I don’t think so, Jess.” Maybe he was a little unpredictable, too. “I can’t. I still love you. But I... No.”

She pushed her hair back with both hands, tucking it behind her ears, and he caught the faint aroma of her lemony shampoo.

“Why?” Her voice was small.

He rubbed his forehead. Good question. “I can’t keep doing this. You’ve been leaving me for the better part of a decade, Jessica. You leave me. It’s what you do. And here we are again, right? In a month or two, or three or five, you’ll break up with me. Something will come up. Something big. I’m not saying you’ve ever done anything shallow. And I’ll be right back here again. And I want...more.”

The word hung between them in the dark summer night. For a heartbeat or two, Connor thought she might crack.

“Okay.” Her voice was soft. “Sorry to bother you.” With that, she turned and walked off, her footsteps quiet.

“You never bother me, Jess,” he said to her back.

She didn’t answer. Of course not. Far be it from Jessica Dunn to make a scene or a declaration.

* * *

JESSICA SAW THAT going differently. Much differently. She’d actually been pretty confident Connor was going to be really, really happy with her offer, probably because she was an idiot.

You never bother me, Jess.

After all she put him through, he could say something like that. He was right to want more. She couldn’t blame him.

Life was a little weird these days. Her father had taken Davey off for the day, and Jess had spent the time unpacking and arranging. Her new house was adorable, bigger than the rental. She loved being in the Village with all its happy bustle. Davey had more freedom; he could walk to the green without her, and the shopkeepers all knew him and made him feel welcome. Lorelei had to stop giving him a free cupcake every day, though. Too much sugar.

But she hadn’t realized how much the noise would carry from the lake with the summer people and their boats and parties. She hadn’t realized how a room could echo if it was too empty. Or, strangely enough, how much the smaller place on Academy Street had felt like home.

It was just new. She’d get there. After all, she owned her own home on a street she’d always loved. That was her name on the deed. The first person in her family ever to be a homeowner.

But it didn’t pack the thrill she’d always thought it would.

And then there was work. For the first time ever, Jess didn’t love going to Blue Heron.

It was Marcy. Funny, how one person could change the dynamic so much. Jess wanted to get past it, but good God in heaven, the woman annoyed her! Constantly bursting into Jessica’s office uninvited to talk about what a great job she—Marcy—was doing. Constantly laughing that hacking laugh on the phone. If she said I kid you not one more time, Jess was fairly sure her head would explode.

On Wednesday morning, they sat around the big table in the conference room for a staff meeting. Prudence, Jack and Mr. Holland were out in one of the barns; they used to come to staff meetings, and Mrs. Johnson would make her famous lemon cake, and sometimes Faith would pop in, too.

That hadn’t happened in a long time. Now it was just Honor, who looked a little green with morning sickness, Marcy, who was talking talking talking; Ned, who was staring out the window; and Jess herself.