Angel's Peak (Virgin River #10)(9)

Luke laughed. “Suave,” he said.

“Think I should throw myself on her mercy? Nah,” he answered for himself. “From what I saw, she doesn’t have a lot of mercy in her right now. Besides, humility really isn’t my strong suit.”

Luke laughed at him. “And, God forbid, we manly Riordans always play our best cards.”

“You know what I mean. What woman wants a man who grovels? Did you grovel? When you and Shelby—?”

“I hate to burst your bubble, pal, but I said I’d do anything that would make her happy. I know—it’s hard for you to imagine your tough big brother caving like that, but when I got down to it, I was doomed without her. She’s the breath in me.” Then he grinned. “But she doesn’t make me grovel anymore. She lets me pretend to be the big man.”

“Swell,” Sean said, a long way from understanding all the rules for this game. The part he did almost understand was she’s the breath in me. “There you go—I’m just plain better at the whole short-term hookup.”

“Well, if that floats your boat, have a good time.”

There was the problem. Short-term hookups just didn’t do it for him anymore. Truthfully, they hadn’t in a long time. In fact, he’d been wondering why he’d been feeling so dissatisfied, so marginally happy rather than jazzed all the time, and the second he saw Franci, he understood why.

“Listen, mind if I ask you something?” Luke asked, while he was shuffling lunch meat, cheese and bread. “You were with her a couple of years. Seemed like it was a good couple of years but it ran its course or something. You broke up, and for four years you were okay. You managed. Why can’t you just walk away now?”

Hard to explain, Sean thought. “You ever get this idea in your head about how things should be, then you just stay the course, even if it doesn’t feel exactly right?”

“Me?” Luke asked with a facetious laugh. “Did you think I was just faking being a dumb grunt who almost lost his own woman?”

“I wasn’t ready to get married,” Sean said. “I didn’t like getting pushed up against a wall and we both walked away mad. Six months later I was thinking, I might not be ready to get married, but I’m not ready for this to be over, either. I thought I could compromise if she could. So I called her cell phone. I left a couple of messages and she never called back. A few more months and I thought, all right—if it takes marriage to make her happy, I could probably work with the idea, as long as she gives me plenty of time to adjust. Maybe we could have a long engagement, just to make sure we’re doing the right thing. So I called again and the cell phone was shut off. Her e-mail bounced back—undeliverable. Her mother, who she’s very tight with, had moved. And if you think I was teed off before, the idea she’d just ignore me like that when I’m f**king trying—that really pissed me off.” And ripped my heart out. Just like I’d ripped her heart out by saying no way. What a couple of fools.

“That’s a bad word,” Art said very quietly. Art wasn’t one to judge or harangue, but he also wasn’t one to miss anything.

“Sorry, Art. I’m going to try harder,” Sean said.

Luke said, “Well, you seemed to be doing just fine to me.”

“Most days,” Sean said with a shrug. “I got into the plane, man. I was all caught up in the missions. I was away a lot. I got by. But every time I met a girl, all I did was compare her to Franci.” And saw Franci everywhere I looked, till I thought I was losing my mind.

“Did you keep looking for her?” Luke asked.

“No. I figured it would pass eventually. The second I saw her I realized it wasn’t going to pass. I think, in a way, this is my fault. Well, I thought for a few years it was her fault—that she was bossy and impatient and that no woman was going to tell me how the hog eats the cabbage. Now, I think there’s a good chance I was an idiot.”

“Ya think?” Luke asked. When Sean glowered, he chuckled and said, “Listen, I’m not being a jerk—but I just walked this road, brother. I’m lucky Shelby is smarter than I am, that’s all.” Luke looked at Sean seriously. “The women are in charge, my brother. We don’t have to like it, but it’s the law. I just ask Shelby what I want and she never lets me down.”

“I have to be careful here,” Sean said. “She said she doesn’t want to see me, talk to me. I can’t show up at her house like some stalker—she might call the cops. I’d call her if I had a number, but—”

“Or…you can try to figure out where she’ll be. She’s a nurse, right? Working as a nurse, right? So call all the places she might be working as a nurse. Hospitals, doctors’ offices, clinics, you know. Ask to speak to her. They’ll either say they never heard of her, say it’s her day off or put her on the phone.”

Sean was stunned. “Wow,” he said. “That’s brilliant.”

“And amazing, because I’ve never hunted for a woman before,” Luke said. “Okay. Where do women go? Women like Franci? Shopping?”

“We did everything together—camping, quadding, diving, skiing…We traveled anytime we could. Franci alone? Gyms,” Sean said. “Franci likes to work out. She loves to read—she spent a lot of time in bookstores. She loves movies, but she wouldn’t go alone—we used to rent ’em. Back then, between me, work, the gym and a little shopping, I can’t remember what she did with her time.” And Sean thought, there it is again. I wasn’t paying attention because it wasn’t about me. He almost wondered how she had endured him that long, but fought the thought that struggled to surface.