Angel's Peak (Virgin River #10)(74)

“As permanent as possible, given the fact Uncle Sam owns me.”

“Don’t grouse. It’s a good life. And I’m proud of you. You have general plastered all over your personnel file, Sean. You can go all the way, and you should.”

“I want to make sure I say a few things before I have to go back to Beale. I’ve done everything I can do for now, Fran. Got the college trust set up, made a new will, have a new life-insurance policy, worked my charm on the boys at the Military Personnel Center in assignments.” He took a deep breath. “I have to say something to Rosie about not being around all the time. Think she’ll understand if I say I have to work?”

Franci smiled and nodded. “She understands that I work, that grandma works. She knows you’ve been on ‘bacation.’” Her eyes glistened. “She’s going to miss you a lot. So will I.”

“I think Jake will work with me on time off, especially since I’m short.” That was the term for someone who could be reassigned without warning. The short guy doesn’t get any long-term or real important projects; he might not get to finish them. “Franci, it’s likely I’m going to go away for a while. You know how hard it is to stay in touch. Think she’ll be able to understand something like that?”

“I can help her get through it,” she said. “You know, you being in the air force was never a problem for me, right?” she asked. “I liked the military—I loved my job. I just didn’t want to do that kind of job with a family, and family got real important to me.” She shrugged. “All of a sudden.”

He laughed and rubbed her knee. “Yeah, I got excited, forgot the rubber and family got real important to you. Listen, I was going to rehearse this and say it right, but here’s the thing. I’m ashamed of the kind of guy I was, Franci. Cards on the table—I was a selfish, egotistical ass**le who expected you to stay with me forever, but I wasn’t willing to make it worth your while. I thought I was a man of the world, but I was a stupid kid. I was mad as hell I didn’t know you were pregnant, but it scares me to death to think how I might’ve reacted if I had known. Franci, the truth is, I probably would have asked you to end the pregnancy, and when I think about what that would have cost us, it almost brings me to my knees. My world is so huge right now—when a Wide Iwish Rose puts her arms around my neck and calls me a silly daddy, my heart almost doesn’t fit in my chest. That Rosie—she isn’t just an idea. She’s more than I could have imagined if my imagination had gone into overdrive.”

Franci was quiet for a moment. Then she put a spoonful of ice cream to his lips. “I know,” she said. “You’ve turned yourself into a wonderful silly daddy.”

He swallowed the ice cream. “I need you to forgive me for the man I was…If you can.”

“I forgave you when I saw you with our daughter. It’s all different now.”

“I know I suggested marriage before, but you were on to me. I was just trying to check off the items on my to-do list. It isn’t like that now. I want to marry you because you’re the most important thing in my life. You’re the beat of my heart, Franci—the mother of my child, my best friend and my future. I love you more than anything. I love Rosie as much. I’d lay down my life for either one of you.”

“Sean…” she said in a whisper, tears coming to her eyes.

“I’m so sorry I had my head up my ass when we were together before—if I could do that whole time over, I’d prove to you that I’m not completely brainless. I love you, baby. You and Rose.”

“I know,” she whispered. “We love you, too.”

“Will you marry me?” he asked. He grinned. “Bite the dust with me? Spend our lives as husband and wife?”

“I will, of course. You’re obviously useless on your own.”

“We can plan a wedding or do it quick or wait to decide when I get orders—it’s up to you. Anything you want. But let’s get a license right away so we’re ready, because I need the official contract. I want to be your legal partner as well as your lover and best friend. And let’s get you a ring. Will you consider taking my name, baby? And let me give it to Rosie?”

“Uh-huh,” she said, a fat tear rolling down her cheek.

“It’s just details, honey—but the important part is right this minute, when we make the decision that we’re a family now.”

“We’re a family now,” she said.

“Whew,” he said. “I thought you’d probably say yes, but there was a little worry in the back of my mind that maybe I had more to prove. Thank you.” He leaned toward her and covered her lips with his. “Thank you,” he said again. “I love you so much. So let’s get the license and ring this week—what do you think?”

She put her bowl on the bedside table. “I think my ice cream is soup, so you should close the door and take my clothes off. What do you think?”

He grinned hugely. “I think I’m going to love being married to you.”

Ellie Baldwin asked Jo Fitch, her landlady and friend, to be her matron of honor, and Jo said, “I’m thrilled to be asked, but I’d rather be the mother of the bride. Ask Vanessa or Brie and let me do some special mother-of-the-bride things for your important day.”