Angel's Peak (Virgin River #10)(63)

“Oh, T.J., when did you become this kind of man? What did I miss? We dated for a few months, and in fact no more often than once a week, but I don’t recall that we had the kind of relationship that would invite this kind of anger from you. We didn’t have future plans, you and I.”

“Our relationship was stable. This thing you’re trading it for, it’ll be a disaster because he isn’t moving to Humboldt County. Even if he could, you and I both know he isn’t the kind of man who will give up anything for you. Or for his daughter. You’ll have to give up everything you value and go chasing him around the world if you want to be with him. Trust me, you’ll be right back where you started. Abandoned.”

“Whoa,” she said, affronted. “I’m not even going to ask you how you came to all these conclusions. I’m not going to defend Sean to you, but have you ever met him?”

“I know that any man who cared about you would have made it his business to find you a long time ago. I would have. If I thought you had any feelings for me whatsoever, I’d tear up the country looking for you. And he never even tried.”

Well, she thought, she had told him the whole, sad story. “There are things to resolve about that, but—”

“Before you pull up stakes, you’d better try to think clearly, Franci. There’s still time for you to be smart, use that little tiny brain of yours. You know how I feel about you. And you know I can keep the blush on your cheeks, too. He might seem a little dangerous and daring and have that sex appeal that goes with jets and secret missions, but that will wear thin. He’s a young idiot who likes living on the edge, and that isn’t father material. You’re going to be very disappointed.”

A huff of laughter escaped her in spite of herself. “Sean? Dangerous?” Then she laughed outright. “My tiny brain?” She stood. “I guess I’m a little confused, T.J. I thought you liked me, but I had no idea you took our relationship as seriously as that, nor did I realize you didn’t think I was smart. I’m sorry you’re angry. But I can’t possibly describe how positively relieved I am that I won’t be spending time with you ever again.”

He stood as well. “If I’m angry at all, it’s because you led me on. I’m not a kid anymore, Francine, and I know what works and what doesn’t. A lot of that I learned the hard way, through my own mistakes. Just the way you will.”

“Best of luck, T.J.,” she said, turning to leave his office.

“If you come to your senses soon, get in touch. But I won’t wait around long.”

Well, that’s a good thing, she thought. She turned back to look at him. “Don’t wait for me. In fact, go ahead and delete my phone number.” And then she left the building.

It hit her that something about that little confrontation was all wrong! What was this talk about being the one to put the shine in her eyes? Hadn’t he complained that they needed to “turn up the heat”? And how in the world had she led him on? By not complaining when he wanted to order for both of them? When going along with his plans for a date, though he never once asked her what she’d like to do? She hadn’t questioned the relationship because it had worked for her. And it had worked for her because she hadn’t been emotionally invested. But neither had he!

She left the campus. All the way home she was asking herself how she had missed who he really was. And why hadn’t the relationship grated on her more? You’re a child, rang in her ears.

And then something occurred to her—she’d lost her father when she was only seven. She’d always longed for her father, for any father. The loss had devastated her! It was one of the many reasons she was so protective of Rosie—she didn’t want her hurt by a loss like that! In some convoluted way it seemed safer to raise Rosie alone rather than watch her little heart break with longing for a father she couldn’t have!

And maybe it was that same sense of loss that allowed her to be so cooperative with a man like Professor Hottie! He took charge; he made as many decisions for her as she would allow! And if Sean hadn’t come back into her life, who knows how far she would have let him go with his controlling, manipulative behavior.

He was right; she had been a child. She had allowed the whole thing to happen; she had no one to blame but herself. She hadn’t realized what was happening.

But she had never behaved that way with Sean; she had been strong, independent and convicted. And to his credit, Sean had never tried to control or manipulate her. He didn’t always bend to her desires, but neither did he act as if he owned her. It was with great relief that she realized that, even in the worst of times, they didn’t have that kind of relationship.

Oh, if they could ever get everything straight, she thought they had a chance of having the right kind of relationship. She almost laughed! As hard as things had been for them, they were healthy, well-adjusted people—unlike T.J.

When she got home, she found Sean in the kitchen. He was turning thick pork chops over in a marinade and Franci could hear Rosie in the bedroom playing.

Sean grinned at her. “How was your day, dear?” he asked, tilting his head in the direction of Rosie’s room.

“Surreal,” she said in a whisper. “Did you by any chance deal with that girl who’s been texting you night and day?”

“Didn’t I tell you? I finally got around to that a few days ago.”