Always Loving You (Danvers #6)(2)
She stopped suddenly, causing the hands holding her to slide. She knew that voice. He’d never hurt her. Even as her body screamed in protest, she climbed onto the man’s lap squatting next to her and held on with everything she had. She was shaking so hard she could barely keep her arms looped around his neck. “Mac . . . please help me,” she remembered whispering frantically.
He stood in one swift movement and swung her up higher in his arms. Without saying a word, he walked back into the house with her, kicking the door shut behind them. When they reached what she thought was the living room, he sat down with her still in his lap. Soft light flooded the room as he used one arm to flip on the lamp on the table beside them. “Honey, what happened?” He tried to move her, but she continued to hold him tight, afraid of what would happen if he let go. He stroked her hair, murmuring words of reassurance against her head, until the shudders subsided. When he moved her back again, she let him put just enough distance between them to see his face. She heard his quick intake of breath, then a barrage of profanity. She started crying then, not able to handle him being angry on top of everything else that had happened.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me, Mac.”
A harsh laugh tore from his throat. “Honey, I’m not mad at you. But I need you to tell me what happened. Were you in an accident?”
She wanted to say yes and just forget the rest, but she had never lied to Mac. He was the one person in her life whom she trusted without reservation, even more so than her brothers. She didn’t know what to do or where to turn . . . and she hurt so bad . . . everywhere. “No . . . he . . . hurt me.”
His eyes never wavered from hers as he asked, “He hurt you how?”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she revealed the truth to him. “He forced himself on me, Mac. He held me down, and he . . . raped me.” She saw the exact moment that her words sank in. His face blanched an alarming shade of white before turning a dark red.
That was the night that they both had shattered. Mac would spend years trying to put her back together again, and she would spend years trying to convince everyone, including herself, that she was okay. And the bastard who raped her . . . his only punishment ended up being to leave South Carolina and agree never to contact her again. That sentence would be decided by her grandfather, who had never liked having the family’s dirty laundry aired in public. Always better to handle things privately.
Ava was brought back to the present by the sound of a slamming door. Apparently, Mac had finished his conversation with his new girlfriend and had helped her into her car. No doubt, they had made plans to meet later. Just a few months ago, that would have been her walking out with Mac. They would jump in one of their cars after work and go for dinner somewhere. Now, though, she had been shoved firmly into the casual-friend zone. Granted, they had been only friends for years—but she had always had the hope of something more between them. Now Gwen was the woman in Mac’s life, and Ava was just the screwed-up friend of the family.
As if sensing someone’s eyes on him, Mac turned suddenly in her direction and there was nowhere to hide. He’d seen her standing in the shadows. Hell, she’d spent most of her life in them. For just a moment, he looked at her as he used to. His mouth pulled into a smile and his eyes softened in the way she had always loved. God, he was so handsome. He kept his dark hair in the short buzz cut favored by the military. His tall body was lean, without an ounce of visible fat. The cargo pants and T-shirt that he was wearing did little to disguise the muscles rippling in his shoulders and thighs. Mac was, without a doubt, drool-worthy. He was the kind of man that women turned to stare after as he walked by. And . . . now he belonged to Gwen.
As he started to walk toward Ava, she had the urge to tuck tail and run. She was still too raw from seeing him with Gwen. But . . . she couldn’t deny herself this moment with him. There had been too few of them lately. She needed to see him, to talk to him one-on-one, just for a moment. “Hey, Avie.” He grinned as he drew close to her. She had long ago given up on trying to get him to stop calling her that silly nickname. She’d never admit it to him, but it made her feel special.
“Hey, McKinley.” She used his full name when she wanted to tease him. He winced slightly but let it go without comment.
“It’s good to see you, even if it’s in the parking lot. I’ve missed your face.”
She was in danger of breaking out into ugly schoolgirl sobs right on the spot. Maybe talking to him right now wasn’t the best idea. Instead she admitted, “Yeah, me too. I . . . um, do you want to go get a drink or something?” He looked surprised, even though this would have been a normal question between them not long ago . . . before Gwen had entered the picture.
He ran his hand through his hair, something he did when he was uncomfortable. “I wish I could, but I’ve kind of got plans. But we’ll do it soon, okay? Maybe Declan and Brant can meet up with us too.”
And here we go. Now all of our meetings have to take place with other people present. The new girlfriend probably doesn’t like him hanging out with me by himself. Just smile and act as if it doesn’t bother you. You’ve had plenty of practice at that.
“Oh, sure,” she said, starting to back away. Ava made a point of looking at her watch. “Wow, it’s getting late. I’ve got . . . er . . . to get going. Good to see you.” He stood there, looking sad while she continued backing toward her car and smiling like a freaking loon. What right did he have to look like that? He had turned her down, yet again. Fuck it; she didn’t need him, or anyone else. Even as Ava tried to convince herself, she knew it was a lie. She was dying without him. She couldn’t sleep, and she was barely eating. If her existence was pathetic before, it now transcended what she’d even thought was possible. She didn’t know how to live in a world without McKinley Powers as her constant and she had no idea what to do now.