Allegiance (Causal Enchantment #3)(86)
Caden …
I searched the room again. Where the hell was he? I need to explain, damn it! Just five minutes to talk openly, freely, without guarding my words, without onlookers. Impossible … The word became real as I spotted my dark-haired warden loitering in the shadows. Watching me. Always watching.
I folded my face into my hands, the urge to scream overwhelming. I wanted to run as fast as I could; through the door, into the snow, into freedom. Would Wraith chase me? Would I have five minutes to myself so I could drop to my knees and pound the earth, to pity myself, to plead with God or the Fates or whomever was running the show up there? So freaking ironic. Before, I was disappointed that Caden couldn’t turn me. Now, all I wanted to do was remain human. Was that too much to ask?
I stood, bile churning the meager contents of my belly, and moved toward the hall. Wraith was instantly on guard, mirroring my steps. “Bathroom,” I grumbled, my irritation growing with each second. I anticipated the upcoming argument.
As expected, he barged into the bathroom to inspect it, shoving me out of the way. “It is empty,” he announced.
“Wow. If this grim reaper gig doesn’t pan out for you, you could always take over for Sherlock Holmes.”
“I do not understand your suggestion.”
“Of course you don’t,” I pushed past him with a loud snort.
“I will wait outside,” he added, unfazed by my snippy attitude. That only made me feel guilty. He was doing his job. He stepped out and turned his back to me. I shut the door and flipped on the fan, wanting added background noise given I had an audience.
Finally, alone. The treacherous girl with more deadly secrets than the Secret Service, deceiving her way through her days, misleading those she cares about most. All for the greater good. I had no right to get angry with any of them ever again! Everything they were doing was for the greater good of something. Whether it coincided with keeping me alive or not was irrelevant.
I sighed, my hands rubbing my eyes fiercely. “Caden, where are you …” I whispered, more acutely aware of the emptiness in my chest than ever before.
A slight breeze kissed my cheek and then a hand fastened onto my elbow and yanked me backward into darkness. My jaw dropped, a blood-curdling scream rising in my lungs but someone’s palm muzzled me, stifling it.
“Shhh …” I heard, the source only an inch from my ear. It was enough for me to identify Caden, though. All of my anxiety expelled with a breath.
“Shhh,” he warned again, his proximity all the more intense in pitch dark.
I nodded slowly. His hand slipped from my mouth. “Where are we?” I whispered, pawing through the murkiness , my fingertips grazing cold rock behind and in front of me. The space was narrow and held a musty chill. “In the secret passageway,” I answered for myself, suddenly remembering. I waited for him to acknowledge my guess, to say something. Anything.
But Caden wasn’t speaking. Dread tore away at my insides. This is it. He’s going to tell me he hates my guts. Or… I ran into the wall as I took a step back, feeling my eyes widen in sudden alarm. He was a vampire and he was angry and jealous. I had already experienced an angry, jealous vampire earlier. She tried to kill me. And now I was in a dark, hidden passage with another one …
My hands trembled, my heart pounded in terror. Was Caden about to kill me?
There was a moment’s pause where I couldn’t find a single appropriate word, fear swallowing me whole. Then too many words started tumbling out all at once. “Nothing happened between Julian and me! I swear it. I—”
My words died with a hard swallow as his hands found their place on my shoulders, pinning me against the wall. His mouth trailed lightly over my cheek, my ear, down to my neck, setting fire to my body. Speak, Caden! Say something! Please! But he remained silent. Not a word. It was the most unbearable form of torture.
And in that torture, my spirit, my resolve, my everything broke. “It’s okay, Caden. It’s probably for the best. I’ll be dead in a few days, anyway,” I sobbed, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, a flood of angst and heartache splintering the dam that had kept me together up until now. “Just know that I tried my best to do the right thing. But there’s no way. Someone always gets hurt. I’m so sorry it was you this time. I still lo—”
Caden’s mouth suddenly covered mine, ending all words, all thought. All ability to breathe. Pressing his body against mine, the level of self-control I had come to know about Caden disintegrated, his lips consuming mine with a new level of hunger. Not even my injured jaw mattered anymore. Caden was what I wanted. This was what I’d wished for. And this was probably the last time I’d ever have him.
Taking pleasure in the taste of his lips, I let my hands wander over his chest to his arms, memorizing every ridge, every muscle. Sliding up to his shoulders, my fingertips pressed into the deep ridges of his collarbone. With a groan, his fingers began to snake through my hair until they were tangled up near my scalp. Clenching his fists, causing a small bite of pain, his mouth slid to my neck. I let my head fall back, gasping with abandon, sinking further and further into Caden’s passion, drowning in him.
“Take me away from here,” I pleaded hoarsely. And suddenly I was cradled in Caden’s arms and we were moving. Running in darkness, running to freedom, away from Wraith, away from Bishop. Away, together. I burrowed my face in his chest, relishing the fleeting moment. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was dangerous, and yet it was the perfect last wish granted before I fully morphed. And died.