All These Things I've Done (Birthright #1)(17)

Leo’s eyes were like Daddy’s ice-blue ones with some of the ice thawed out. They were looking at me with hope. ‘I really want to do it, Annie.’

‘Let me talk it over with Nana, OK, Leo?’

Leo exploded. ‘I’m a grown-up! I don’t need you to say yes! You’re a kid! I’m the big brother! I don’t want you in my room any more!’ Then he pushed me towards the door. It wasn’t a hard push but I still fell a couple of steps backwards.

‘I’m going to talk to Nana about it,’ I repeated. As I stepped over the threshold, Leo slammed the door behind me.

There was a good chance the ruckus had roused Nana, so I went back to her room. She was indeed awake. ‘How are you, darling?’ she asked. ‘I heard yelling.’

I kissed her cheek, which smelt of baby powder and bile, and then I looked over towards Imogen. I shook my head ever so slightly to let Nana know I didn’t want to discuss family business in front of the nurse.

‘Well, I should go.’ Imogen put her book in her bag. It was the end of her workday anyway. ‘I guess you found Leo,’ she said.

‘Yes,’ I said with a half-laugh. ‘In the hallway.’

‘Always the last place you look,’ said Imogen. ‘Take care, Anya. Sleep well, Galina.’

After Imogen had closed the door, I told Nana where Leo had been and about the job. ‘So, what do you think?’ I asked.

Nana laughed, which made her cough. I poured her some water, then held the straw to her lips. A few drops spilt out on to the maroon silk coverlet and to my eye these looked almost like blood. I repeated the question. ‘What do you think?’

‘Well,’ said my grandmother in her desiccated voice, ‘I can already tell what you think. Your nostrils are flared like a racehorse’s and your eyes are as bloodshot as a drunk’s. You mustn’t let your face show so much of what you feel. It’s a weakness, my darling.’

‘So?’ I asked.

‘So, pfft,’ she said.

‘Pfft?’

‘Pfft. Jacks is family. Leo is without a job. Family takes care of family. Pfft.’

‘But, Leo—’

‘But nothing! Not everything is conspiracy. I used to always have to say that to your father, too.’

I decided not to point out the obvious – that Daddy had been right to be paranoid. He’d been shot to death in his own home.

Nana continued. ‘It’s nice that anyone’s taking an interest in your brother. Because from the family’s point of view, your brother is a muzhik, a nothing. He’s like a woman or a child. No one would bother with him.’

And yet Jacks was bothering with him for some reason.

‘Anya! I can see your furrowed brow. I only meant no one will shoot your brother or get him in any kind of trouble. It wouldn’t be honourable. These men at the Pool used to be your father’s captains and foot soldiers. And one of the best things about your father, God rest his soul, was that he took care of people. They loved your father, and they respected him in life, and they do what they can to honour him in death. This is the reason Jacks finds a job for your brother. You do understand that, don’t you?’

I unfurrowed my brow.

‘Good girl,’ she said, patting me on the hand.

‘Maybe I should go talk to Jacks at least?’ I suggested. ‘Make sure everything’s above board.’

Nana shook her head. ‘Let it be. If you go down there, it will only humiliate Leo. He will lose face in front of the other men. And besides, Pirozhki himself is a nobody, and no threat to anybody.’

She had a point. ‘I’ll tell Leo at dinner that you said he should take the job,’ I said.

Nana shook her head. ‘In two years, you’ll be in college and I’ll be—’

‘Don’t say it!’ I yelled.

‘Fine, my dear, have it your way. I’ll be elsewhere. My point is, isn’t it best that you let Leo come to some decisions on his own, Anyaschka? Let him be a man, my darling. Give him that gift.’

As a peace offering, I made macaroni and cheese for the second time that week. I told Natty to go get Leo, but he wouldn’t come to dinner. I brought the bowl to Leo’s door. ‘Leo, you should eat,’ I said.

‘Are you mad?’ he whispered. I could barely hear him through the wood.

‘No, I’m not mad. I’m never mad at you. I was just worried before.’

Leo opened the door a crack. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. His eyes filled with tears. ‘I pushed you.’

I nodded. ‘It’s OK. It wasn’t very hard.’

Leo’s mouth and eyes clenched shut in an effort to stop himself from crying. I stood on tiptoes so that I could stroke his back. ‘Look, I brought you macaroni.’

He smiled a little. I handed him the bowl, and he started scooping the yellow tubes into his mouth. ‘I won’t go work at the Pool if you don’t want me to.’

‘The truth is, I can’t stop you, Leo,’ I said, somewhat ignoring Nana’s advice. ‘But once the clinic reopens, I think you should work there again. They need you. And—’

He hugged me while holding the bowl, and a few macaroni tubes fell to the floor.

‘And if anyone at the Pool makes you uncomfortable, you should quit.’