After the Storm (KGI #8)(53)

Donovan fought to keep his cool. He understood his brothers’ concerns. He got it. But it still pissed him off, and judging by the looks on his brothers’ faces, they knew he was pissed.

“You know we’ll always have your back,” Sam said. “We aren’t immune to Eve or her siblings. We just don’t want to see you get hurt. We’re concerned that you’re becoming too emotionally involved, and you have to turn it off. Treat it like any other mission. Help her and her brother and sister, but keep a distance and keep your heart out of it.”

“Sarah was supposed to just be a mission,” Donovan challenged. “Remember how quickly that became personal for you? And you, Sam. You got involved with Sophie while on a mission and the very last thing you should have been doing was f**king around with a woman when we were hot on the trail of Mouton. Do either of you regret that now? Look at what you have. Wives. Children, and children on the way. How can you know that Eve is not the one for me? Would you deny me the same shot at happiness that you received yourselves while on a ‘mission’?”

Discomfort crawled across Sam’s face, and Garrett flinched.

“I know Eve isn’t just a goddamn mission. I know that. I also know that a lot has to be resolved. I have to gain her trust so that I can be prepared to face whatever she’s running from. I don’t believe for a minute that she’s some criminal. She’s just a desperate woman doing whatever it takes to protect her family. Wouldn’t we all do the same? Whatever it takes. Just like you do for your own families. Your wives. Your children.”

“You’re already looking at Eve, Cammie and Travis as yours,” Garrett pointed out. “We just don’t want to see you get hurt, man.”

“I just want what you both already have,” Donovan said, his voice lowering and shaking lightly with emotion. “And maybe Eve is that person. Maybe not. But I won’t ignore what I feel when I look at her just because I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle yet. Just like neither of you turned away from your wives who at that time were just a mission. Just someone in trouble.”

“Point taken,” Sam said in a grudging voice. “Know that we have your back and that if you have feelings for Eve, beyond that of someone in need, then we consider her family and one of us. We’ll do whatever we can to help. No way we’ll allow any harm to come to Cammie and Travis. Or Eve. But we want you to go into this with your eyes open. You’d be taking on a teenager and a four-year-old, and that’s not going to be easy.”

Donovan laughed, some of the tension easing from his shoulders. “Isn’t that what Ma did with Rusty? Travis isn’t the belligerent, defensive kid that Rusty was, not that she didn’t have good reason to be. Travis is a good kid. Scared but determined to protect his sisters. He shouldn’t have a care in the world at his age, but instead he’s giving up his childhood and becoming a man long before his time. I’d be proud to consider him my son, though it’s not like I’m old enough to have fathered him.”

Sam and Garrett both chuckled, relaxing their rigid stances.

“Yeah, well, you would have had to have gotten one hell of a head start if you fathered a fifteen-year-old kid when you weren’t much older than him,” Garrett said.

Donovan sighed. “Some days I feel a hell of a lot older. We’ve all seen more in our somewhat young lives than any dozen people will ever see or experience. That shit ages a person. It’s time I started thinking about settling down and having a family of my own. Time is passing me by and I’m standing still. I love KGI. I wouldn’t have any other job. But I don’t want it to become my entire life. I want what you guys have. A wife to come home to. Children to fill my house. I want a reason to live and a reason to come back from every mission.”

Sam and Garrett exchanged quick, worried glances. Donovan knew he sounded weary and that they weren’t used to hearing this kind of heavy shit from him. But he was tired. He was ready for change. He was ready for life to stop passing him by while he stood on the fringes living for each mission with nothing to come home to afterward.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Donovan said dryly. “Like it’s time to break out the straitjacket and haul me away. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself and I damn sure don’t need you interfering in my love life. You’re getting way ahead of yourselves anyway. Contrary to what you might believe, I’m not plunging recklessly into a situation without examining every angle first. But when I say this, I know you’ll understand what I mean, because it was like this for you when you met Sophie and Sarah. When I look at Eve, I see something more than a woman in danger. I see someone who’s different from every other mission I’ve worked. I may not know where this will take me yet, but it’s not going to stop me from taking the path.”

“I get it,” Garrett said softly. “It was like that for me with Sarah. But I’ll remind you that you hounded me about getting too emotionally involved. You were worried about me at the time and you even offered to take over the mission because you thought I was getting in over my head. I’m just returning the favor here.”

Donovan smiled. “I appreciate the brotherly concern, but I got this. Okay? Now if you two will get on home to your wives, then I can get on with figuring out how to get Eve to trust me enough to share whatever trouble she’s in.”