After the Storm (KGI #8)(123)

She paused as if to let her diagnosis settle in. Then she continued, her eyes filled with sympathy as she stared at Donovan. She reached for his hand, squeezing it, offering comfort.

“There’s also the factor that she may not want to come back. That maybe she’s retreated to a place where she feels no pain, no betrayal.”

Donovan flinched, and the blood drained from his face.

“I don’t say this to hurt you,” she said. “But it has to be acknowledged. She thinks you betrayed her. She thinks that you don’t love her and that your only concern is for Travis and Cammie. In a way, the drugs were probably a blessing to her because it numbed her. She isn’t feeling anything. She doesn’t know anything. She isn’t cognizant of her surroundings and she likely welcomes that. Her mind is protecting her from her hurt and her very real fear of her stepfather and what he’ll eventually do to her.”

“What can I do?” Donovan asked helplessly.

Tears burned the edges of his eyes. He blinked and it was like rubbing sand in his eyes. His emotions were raw. His heart was shattered. It was his fault Eve was like this. It was his fault this had happened. If only he’d done things differently. If only he hadn’t been so determined to shield her. He’d made the biggest mistake of his life by not trusting in her. He didn’t deserve her trust because he hadn’t offered it in return. He hadn’t wanted her to know anything of his plans. Stupidly, he’d thought he could fix the problem with her none the wiser and then present her with a fait accompli and they’d live happily ever after.

He, the smart one, the supposed brains of the entire operation.

He was the biggest dumbass in the world. He’d been thinking with his heart instead of using his greatest asset. Not his physical strength. Not his training. His intelligence. His mind. And Eve had paid dearly for his f**kup.

“You can’t torture yourself, Van,” Maren said quietly. “It does neither you nor her any good. You have to be strong for her. You have to make her want to come back. You have to convince her that you love her, that you didn’t betray her. And you have to be patient and wait for as long as it takes for her to want to crawl out of the hole she’s buried herself in. Because there, she’s safe. Nothing can hurt her. But the real world? That can destroy her and she well knows it.”

“So I just sit here and do nothing,” Donovan said bitterly.

“No,” Maren refuted. “You talk to her. Surround her with her family. You, Travis, and Cammie. Be persistent. Don’t allow her to crawl back into that shell once the medication starts to wear off and she becomes more aware of her surroundings. Then more than ever is when you have to press. Because when the medication wears off and she doesn’t have that balm, she’ll retreat in other ways. The mind is a very intricate thing and it will go to great lengths to protect itself. If you allow it, she’ll find a way to retreat even without the medication. So you surround her with your love. With Cammie and Travis’s love. Present a united front. Show her that you’re family. The four of you. And don’t treat her gently, Van. I know your instinct will be to baby her. You won’t want to cause her any distress. You’ll back off at the first sign that she’s upset. But you can’t do that. You have to show her tough love and bully her if that’s what it takes.”

“And make her hate me more than she already does,” Donovan said bleakly.

“No. You show her how very much you love her by not letting her go.”

Donovan scrubbed a hand through his hair and Maren hugged him tightly.

“She’ll get through this, Van. Just like Shea did. Nathan went through hell. He wondered a hundred times during the time Shea was recovering if he’d ever get her back. But love did it. His love. He didn’t give up, and neither will you. And just like Shea found her way back to Nathan, so too will Eve find her way back to you and Travis and Cammie. With three people who love her as much as y’all do, how can she not? Not to mention the rest of us. We’re a force to be reckoned with, as Shea can attest,” she added with a laugh. Then her expression grew more serious. “I love you dearly, Van. I love you all. Even before I married Steele, you were my family even though I have a family of my own whom I love fiercely. I will be here if you need me. All you have to do is call. No matter what time, day or night. Steele and I both will be here. I hope you know that.”

Donovan hugged her back, burying his face in her hair and just holding on as grief washed through him. She squeezed back hard, as if she knew just how tenuous his grip on his control was.

“I love you too,” Donovan said gruffly. “And thank you, Maren. It seems you’ve had a hand in saving all our asses at one time or another, but this is different. This is my life. More important than any mission I’ve ever gone on or ever will.”

She smiled and cupped his jaw as she drew away. “Be strong for her, Van. And tough. Don’t baby her. Just love her and be there when she finally breaks. Because she will break. It’ll get worse before it gets better. When the medication wears off and she comes back to her reality and remembers everything, she’ll break and you’ll have to be here to pick up the pieces and help her through it by loving her and convincing her of that love.”

“Thanks,” Donovan said again.

Maren walked away and Donovan turned his attention back to Eve’s bedside where she slept, seemingly peaceful. But he knew that underneath it all, nightmares lurked. And sleep was the only thing keeping hell at bay.