After the Storm (KGI #8)(111)

Donovan was momentarily baffled as he thought back over their many conversations about the future. Their future together. So much of what Rachel said made sense. He saw the discomfort and grief flicker briefly through Ethan’s eyes at Rachel’s impassioned defense of Eve. Yes, he and Rachel would both know firsthand how love could sometimes be twisted into something ugly and black.

The idea that Eve was now feeling even a tenth of what Rachel had described gutted him to his soul. He could put himself in Eve’s shoes and consider what she’d heard and what she was even now experiencing, and it shredded his heart. He never wanted that for her. He never wanted her to experience the kind of pain she’d already experienced in her young life. And the fact that he was currently the source of her agony undid him. Completely and utterly undid him.

“I didn’t say the words—I was afraid of coming on too strong, too quickly—but she had to know. How could she not? I’ve never been this way with another woman. And that bullshit about having a weakness for women and children. It doesn’t mean she was a pity case for me. I wanted to spend the rest of my bloody life with her! If I never hear those goddamn words again it will be too soon. Eve isn’t a mission. I damn well know the difference between wanting and needing to help a woman in a desperate situation and knowing to the bottom of my soul that she’s it for me.”

“Donovan, you need to put yourself in her shoes,” Shea said, echoing Rachel’s words. “Remember her life to now. Remember that she’s never been able to trust anyone, and that over and over she’s been betrayed by the very people sworn to protect her. Now imagine how devastating it was for her to hear what she heard and for her to think you would discard her so callously.”

“I saw her,” Rusty said flatly. “The rest of you can speculate on how she may have felt, but none of you saw what I saw. What I heard. She was broken, beaten down and utterly hopeless. I saw her eyes and she knew. She accepted her fate, but her being her, she wasn’t going to go down without a fight. She’s stood up time and time again even when she’s been shut down at every turn, every time she tried to get help for her mother, for Travis and Cammie. And yet she never gave up. But now? I saw her give up right in front of me and yet she was still determined that she wouldn’t be, in her words, a sacrificial lamb. That as long as Travis and Cammie were cared for, it didn’t matter what happened to her, but she wasn’t just going to go meekly along with Donovan’s plan.”

“Jesus,” Donovan said, pain gripping his insides and twisting viciously. “He has her. He hurt her before. He tried to . . .” He couldn’t even finish the statement, instead going silent as he tried to keep his composure.

“He’ll want revenge. He’ll want her to suffer. Goddamn it, he has his hands on her right now. She’s enduring God only knows what kind of hell while we sit here and talk about the what ifs and whys. This is bullshit. It’s time to dispense with the analysis and go take that son of a bitch down.”

“We’ll find her,” Sam said firmly.

“Hell yeah, we’ll get your girl back, Van,” Garrett seconded.

A course of agreements circled the room.

Donovan raised his gaze, determination etched in every facet of his face. He wouldn’t entertain any other option. No matter what, he had to get Eve back. Yes, he wanted children, a family, but he wanted those things with Eve. Without her, he had nothing. How could he ever be happy having Travis and Cammie as his own when Eve was not a member of that family unit? She was the heart and soul of their family. His family. Without her, none of them, him, Travis or Cammie, would never be whole.

“Yes, I’ll get her back,” he said in a tone he knew surprised his brothers. Every mission meant something to Donovan. Yes, he had a weakness for women and children, though he was sick to death of having that thrown in his face, of it being used to hurt the woman he loved, like somehow she’d been relegated to being just another woman in need. No one special, when she was the very air he breathed.

“And when I do I’ll never let her go again. I’ll never let a single day pass that she doesn’t know she means the world to me. That she is my world, damn it!”

“Van, my God, Van!”

Everyone turned to see Marlene standing in the doorway to the living room wringing her hands. In the distance Cammie was crying and Charlotte’s concerned voice was rising as she tried to comfort Cammie.

“What is it, Ma?” Ethan asked sharply.

“Travis. He’s gone,” Marlene said painfully. “He excused himself to go to the bathroom. He was gone a long time but he was upset before. I thought he was embarrassed and just needed time to get himself together. When I realized how much time had passed, I became concerned so I went to check on him and he was gone. He must have slipped out the back or one of the windows. I don’t really know! I was paying attention to the girls and trying to keep them occupied.”

Donovan closed his eyes, the nightmare only growing more horrific with every passing second. His family was being destroyed in front of his eyes and he was helpless to do anything but watch it happen.

Fuck that. Eve, Travis and Cammie belonged to him, and he sure as hell wasn’t letting them go. He’d go after Walt Breckenridge and nail his ass to the wall. Legally or illegally. It didn’t matter one way or another as long as the job was done.