Adam (The Protectors #5)(40)
Sid’s eyes dragged down her body and groaned, which caused her to stand up quickly pulling the shirt down before shooting him an evil glare. “Don’t even think about it.” She pointed the brush at him.
Throwing his hands up innocently in the air as a sexy grin played at the corner of his lips, took all the innocence out of the action. “You’re beautiful. I can’t help it.” He took a step toward her, but stopped suddenly when she reached into her bag and pulled out her gun.
“Don’t lie to me.” Lana pointed the gun at him with a steady hand. “I look like shit.”
His eyes dropped to the gun. It was actually sexy as hell with her panties dangling from it. “I didn’t know you had another gun.” His grin didn’t disappear.
“Exactly.” Lana smirked. Her smile turned into a grimace when it pulled at her swollen cheek. “Now back off, lover boy. I’m still pissed and not in the mood.”
Not one to say sorry to anyone and definitely not one to admit when he was wrong, Sid struggled with this one. He had reacted a little harshly, but he had been in shock. He knew it wasn’t her fault and he had practically bit her head off.
Lana was watching him closely. “I’m serious, Sid,” she warned. “I’m not in the mood.”
Walking up to her, he stopped when the barrel of the gun hit his chest. “Shoot.”
Narrowing her eyes, she nudged the gun, but then dropped it to her side. “It would be easier to shoot myself than you.” She sighed, placing the gun back in her bag.
He cupped her chin, bringing her face up to his. “Don’t ever say that,” he ordered. He rubbed his thumb across her damaged cheek; his eyes glazed over in rage. “I want to kill the son-of-a-bitch who did this to you.”
“That makes two of us,” Lana replied, reaching up to touch her face. “It really hurts. And I’m so damn tired and I’ve got a headache from hell as well as wanting to puke because I sound like a damn girl.”
Sid smiled down at her when she glanced at him. No wonder he loved this woman; she was it for him and he knew it without a doubt. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“Sid, I don’t care if you yell at me. I mean I care, but I’ll yell back and give you hell.” Lana’s eyes flashed so many emotions at once from miserable, to angry and then finally hurt. “You didn’t trust me. You know everything about me, my secrets, my fears and I know close to nothing about you. I was there to help you and you shut me out.”
“Lana, I…” Sid began, but stopped, pulling away.
“I know you’re a big badass Warrior who needs no one, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there for you.” Lana’s voice cracked. “I honestly don’t know if I can be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me enough to confide in me. I want a partner in a relationship, Sid. It has to go both ways. I lean on you and you lean on me.”
“I was raised in a place run by priests, where once you were old enough, they tossed you out unless you were a lucky one and found a family. I wasn’t one of the lucky ones, but I was bigger than most and they kept me because I could work. I worked slowly on whatever they gave me for fear of the unknown. I was afraid of being set free in a world I knew nothing about. After they finally had nothing left for me, I was let go. It took only two days for me to be arrested for trying to steal some bread.” His eyes were closed so he couldn’t see her reaction to his past that haunted him. He hadn’t spoken about his past to anyone, but he remembered everything. The smells, his fear, his hunger, his loneliness, but most importantly, the horror of what he had become. “Because of my size, I was bought out of the prison system by a man named Alexio Milona, a Lanista…trainer of Gladiators.”
“You were a Gladiator?” Lana gasped, her eyes widened in surprise.
“I was a slave who was made to fight for the rich for their entertainment.” Sid spat, hatred edging each word, then turned and walked away from her. He placed one hand on the wall; his head slumped. “How can a man look at the woman he loves more than anything in this shitty world and admit he was a slave? That he ate from the floor any scrap that was thrown to him. He was chained and whipped like a dog until he was ordered to perform whatever task was asked.” He didn’t lift his head when he felt her hand touch his back softly, but he did flinch. “How can a man stand tall knowing that the woman he loves may look at him differently because he killed just for that scrap of food on the floor, or a splash of water to wipe the filth off his body, and in the end, traded his soul for a way out?”
Dipping under his arm, Lana stared up under his hung head. “How can a woman not love the man who survived such horrors? A man who turned out to be a decent human being instead of a monster taking revenge for the life he had been dealt.” His eyes rose to meet hers. “I see the man you are. How can I not love you, Sid Sinclair, no matter your past?”
“I killed people for the entertainment of others.” Sid’s eyes didn’t leave hers, his voice a low growl. “And I found enjoyment in that. It was the only thing I could find enjoyment in. In each face of the person I killed, I saw the men who enslaved me. I was damn good at what I did; we all were. And never forget, Lana, I am a monster. I’m not a human being. I am a vampire.”
“And I’m a human,” Lana replied, touching his chest with her hand, “who never learned how to cook like a woman should, hates to clean and would rather spend her free time at a shooting range.”