A Wind of Change (A Shade of Vampire #17)(33)

I can’t murder again.

Having hot human blood within such close proximity immediately stirred the predator within me, even as I tried to put it back to sleep. I wanted nothing more than to sink my fangs into her and never let go. I clutched River’s arm and held her closer to me, breathing in her scent deeply, hoping that her bitterness would blur out the sweetness of the human less than five feet away.

Once I felt a little more confident in moving closer, I did, still holding River close to me, until I was standing right next to the cowering woman.

I knew what to do—I had already half-turned Tobias, after all. I knew how to inject my venom, and at what moment to pull away. But that was just the problem—summoning the willpower to pull away. Taking one last deep breath of River, and then holding my nose so that her scent would remain with me longer, I bent down quickly. Grabbing the woman, I dug in my fangs.

She squirmed and cried beneath me, but I held her tight. As blood began to seep into my mouth—fresh, hot, exhilarating blood—any small confidence I’d felt evaporated. There was no way I could stop myself from taking another gulp of blood, and then another and another. I was going to finish this woman off, and not even Jeramiah would have the strength to pull me off.

“That’s enough blood, Joseph,” Jeramiah commanded as he gripped my shoulder. “Release your venom now.”

I heard him, and yet I couldn’t find it in myself to obey. It seemed like a sin to poison this blood, so pure and divine. To turn something so sweet into something so bitter and rotten.

The woman began to grow weak beneath me, her struggling lessening. A few more gulps, and she likely wouldn’t have the strength to survive the half-turning—I would’ve made her too weak to make it to the other side even if I could find it in myself to release my venom.

Then a wrist slid between my nose and the human’s flesh. A cold, smooth wrist. As I breathed in, it smelt disgusting. River’s scent was mixing with the blood that I was drinking, making it less palatable.

I drew back, swallowing the gulp that was already in my mouth, but not feeling such an appetite to go back for more.

My mind returned to me, along with my willpower to not let this be a failure. I clutched River’s arm and breathed heavily against her skin again before once again plunging my teeth into the woman’s neck. I refused to suck this time, and instead inserted my ice-cold venom into her bloodstream. I drew away before it felt like I had begun—as Jeramiah had once instructed me—and, holding River by the waist, I buried my head in her neck. I breathed her in for the final time before darting out the door.

If I had performed it correctly, the half-turning would now be in process and the human would be shaking. But I didn’t want to stay any longer than I had to. I headed for the gardens and stopped once I was in the center of the willow orchard.

I leaned against the trunk of a tree. Exhaling and inhaling, I tried to calm myself after the frenzy that I had just managed to break free from… thanks to my new half-blood friend.

I looked up to see River approaching. Her expression was a mixture of fascination and horror as she stared at me. I must have looked a state, with blood dripping from my mouth and staining my shirt.

“Did you do it?” she asked in a hoarse whisper.

I nodded slowly, finding my voice.

“I think we did.”

Chapter 13: Ben

River waited with me a while longer as I recovered my senses beneath the willow tree. After ten minutes, the door to the room where I had half-turned the woman opened, and Jeramiah stepped out. He made his way directly toward us.

I was relieved to see that he had a satisfied expression on his face.

“It looks like you did the job,” he said, looking from me to River. “The human is showing all the right symptoms. Seems you two do make a good team.”

“Good to hear,” I replied dryly.

“I’ll check back on the human tomorrow morning. As for you, feel free to take the girl back to your place.” He winked at me. “She’s yours now.”

With that, he headed off.

River and I stood in silence, just looking at each other.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

I didn’t need her thanks. When I had caught sight of her being beaten by a man almost twice her size in the gardens, I hadn’t thought twice about going to her aid.

She was pretty, with large turquoise eyes and long dark hair. Physically, I’d been attracted to her as soon as I saw her in that sauna. Her looks had only made it harder to control myself around her. That was one of the reasons I’d darted so quickly from the room.

But I’d realized only afterward that saving her in that rose garden had been a way of helping myself. I’d been so shrouded in darkness recently. I’d murdered so many people—more than I’d even been able to keep count of—and my bloodlust was still as strong as ever. Taking this girl under my wing was helping me keep my head above water. Her blood not being tempting in the slightest, she reminded me of what it was like to not feel like the devil personified around someone who happened to be weaker than me.

And now, if I dared to believe that we might be close to being invited out on a hunt, my escape wouldn’t be possible without her.

I cleared my throat. “You’re welcome,” I replied. “Shall we return to my place then?”

She nodded and took my hand again.