A Wild Ride (Jessica Brodie Diaries #3)(12)

“I agree,” Lump muttered, peering into the car. “But Jess is right. Gladis is trying to get the jump on me. She calls me Superman because I always dodge at the last minute. So now she picks up anything within reach. That ashtray was some relic worth thousands!”

“I see you!” Gladis said in a singsong voice. “Come on in, we’ll be late.”

Lump sighed and smiled at the same time. The second she ducked her head into the limo, she suddenly did a back bend a la Matrix. A foam beer cozy came hurling out, just missing her face.

“Damn it, Gladis. I am dressed up!” Lump shouted.

“Shouting is not ladylike, dear.”

“Neither is throwing things! I’m sending Jessica in front of me—“

“No way!” I screeched. I wasn’t nearly as fast. Gladis got me, shortly after this game started, with a tissue box.

“I’ll go,” William said in firm tones. I could tell that he did not think this game as funny as Gladis did.

“William Davies, don’t you give me that scowl.” We heard as William disappeared into the limo.

Lump smiled in victory. It occurred to me that Lump thought this game was every bit as fun as Gladis did. I should have known. Martyr!

“She is nearly impossible to hit. Try it!” Gladis finished.

Lump stifled a laugh as she resumed climbing in the limo. As I waited for her butt to disappear so I could finally climb in, suddenly she shifted and flattened. Another beer cozy floated out, having glanced off her face first.

“You just have to throw it harder,” came William’s voice.

“Willie!” Lump said in laughing outrage. “You, too?”

William was shrugging as I climbed in, a third beer cozy in his hand. “I don’t like the word impossible.”

“A glance is not a hit,” Lump said.

“Challenge accepted.”

Gladis took over Lump’s victory smile. I rolled my eyes. Until I saw her giant necklace; a giant Safire hung beside diamonds.

“Wow, Gladis. That is a beautiful necklace!” I gushed.

“Thanks. You want it?”

“What? No. Thank you. I was just admiring it.”

“I got a million of these type of things.”

What got into Gladis? I looked at Lump, who just shrugged in a way that meant Gladis had been this way all day.

We arrived at the ranch in no time, William being more affectionate than normal, Lump with a pleasant disposition. We carefully climbed out of the car, careful not to hurt Gladis or rip our dresses in any way.

William opened the door and let everyone go through but me. He held me back a second and murmured, “Are you ready to meet my family?”

No! “Of course!” I smiled assuredly, quite the actor.

I slipped my hand in his, crossing the threshold, knowing full-well Denise, William’s mother, was on the other side, and I’d just stepped into a passive aggressive battle zone.

He still seemed to think she liked me. And while didn’t not like and like were similar, I could feel the difference every time her gaze lingered, over-analyzing.

We entered the living room to two crying children and a harassed mother.

“Gladis!” the mother said, her expression turning from disapproval to joy, as she got up to hug the older lady. “So good to see ya! It’s been too long!”

William was next, getting a warm smile and a hug.

“Hi ya, Sis.” William said with a half-smile.

“How’ru runt?”

William’s sister turned my way, her gaze lingering on Lump before sticking to me. She had her brother’s vivid eyes and striking good looks.

“Elaine, this is my girlfriend Jessica.”

“Hello,” Elaine said with her mother’s analytical stare.

What’s worse than one? Exactly—two!

“Nice to meet you.” I shook her hand.

“This is Betz,” William continued, indicating Lump with an open palm.

Elaine tore her eyes away from my earrings and gave Lump a warm reception.

“Donnie and Emma.” William gestured to the pouting kids.

“C’mon—let’s go meet Thomas,” Elaine said, leading the way.

William clutched my hand again.

In the kitchen stood Adam, Tom, Thomas, Denise, and some other fellow that must be Elaine’s husband. They all looked up when we entered.

Adam’s eyes widened when he saw Lump. He slowly put his hand on the island, gaze not leaving Lump’s face.

She was pretending not to notice him. The dance between them had begun.

I didn’t have much time to notice. Everyone else was staring at me.

“Thomas, Peter,” William began, heading toward the island and his father without me. “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Jessica, and her friend Lu--Betz. You know Gladis, of course.”

Finally I got to see Thomas, the older brother. A long time ago I was told he was shockingly handsome. That he’d gotten all the looks in the family. And while he was definitely handsome, with many of the same characteristics as William, where he differed wasn’t my taste. He was too slick. Too egocentric. His cheesy, self-assured smile, his lazy lean—he thought he was way hotter than he actually was. Which just made him laughable.

I lost interest about the same time Lump did. Immediately.