A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(48)

At her urging, I close my eyes and am immersed in another memory.

Onika is on the bridge, circling Monroe as she runs her gloved finger across his chest. His shoulder. “He really is still handsome,” she says to me as I watch them from the railing. “You have no idea how much he and I loved each other.” She traces her finger across his lips. He stares through her, at me.

“Why don’t you let him see you?” I ask Onika.

“Why should he?” she growls, turning back to me. “He wanted me gone. He doesn’t deserve to see me.”

“Charlotte,” Monroe calls, looking through her. “Don’t talk to her. Don’t listen to her. Please, honey. You have to go before it’s too late.”

I snap back, my body still shivering from the cold air on the bridge. “Monroe,” I murmur. Marceline smiles to herself.

“Ah,” she says. “Monroe Swift. I should have known. He contacted me about Harlin. Wanted me to explain to him some of the rules of being a Seer. Monroe will help you,” she says, sounding confident. “Now, go on and get out of here. I have another appointment. I’ve told you all I can.”

“But—”

“Hush, child,” she says, turning away from me. “Do as I say. And you’d better steer clear of Abraham. He still believes you don’t know what he is. It’s best to keep it that way as long as you can. You won’t like his real face.”

“But I don’t know what to do,” I say. “How do I find Monroe? What do I ask him? I’m scared, Marceline.”

She nods. “That’s good. It’s good to know when to be afraid.”

CHAPTER 21

I’m no longer doubtful of Marceline’s explanations, her predictions. As I rush toward the front door of her house, I worry that Abe will be waiting outside like he was last time. But the street is empty except for a few cars passing. When I’m halfway down the walkway, I look back at the window, but Marceline is no longer there. I swallow hard and take out my phone.

I call Lucy and ask her to pick me up at a coffee shop on the corner of Mission. My sister doesn’t ask why, but she sounds distracted. Right now I can’t worry about her. I just found out I’ve lived another life, another life with Harlin. That means I wasn’t always here. In fact, I wasn’t here even a year ago. My memories of my childhood . . . they’re not real. Or at least, they were created rather than experienced. I’m not sure what’s true anymore. Are anyone’s memories real?

As I stand outside the coffee shop, I think about Abe. Marceline said he used to be a Forgotten, just like me. But now he’s a Shadow, forced to do terrible things. I suddenly think back on Marissa at the campsite. I could have sworn I heard the words “jump off the cliff.” Had he really said them? Is Marissa dead? Fear streaks through me and I start to wonder what else I don’t know.

I cover my face, wanting to cry, but holding back the tears. I can’t tell my dad or Lucy about the Forgotten—they’ll have me committed. That leaves only Harlin. He understands. But the way he raced out of there . . .

A new feeling comes over me: anger. First Harlin kicked me out of his motel room, broke my heart. Then when he found out who I used to be—the very person he swore he loved—he ran away. I don’t know if I can trust him not to hurt me again. Marceline is wrong. I am completely alone.

I wonder what else is locked inside my head. I wish I could break it open and know everything. Maybe in another life I sacrificed myself, but I’m different now. I have so much to live for. And if Onika is as horrible as Marceline says, there’s no way I want to fight her.

Lucy’s car pulls up, the music loud as it filters out of the half-open passenger window. When I climb in, she’s chewing hard on a piece of gum, reminding me of our father. She stares straight ahead, pulling back out into the street.

“Aren’t you going to ask why I’m here?”

“Nope,” she says.

I wait, watching her. Lucy’s makeup is heavy, her clothes dark and uncomfortable looking. “What’s wrong with you?” I ask.

Lucy glances over suddenly and then goes back to the road. “Just been thinking.” Her voice is low. “Things with my sometimes-boyfriend didn’t exactly work out. Think it’s time I see someone new.”

“This is about a guy? Lucy, when have you ever let a guy mess with your head? Dad would be shocked and awed to hear this.”

“Then don’t tell him,” she says. “That’s the last thing I need. I’d rather forget everything. I’d rather just give up.”

My eyes are wide as I stare at my sister, her entire personality different than I’ve ever seen her. “Hey,” I say, reaching out to take her hand. It’s warm. “Don’t you ever give up. Don’t you dare.”

Lucy turns to me, her blue eyes gathering tears. “But I’m tired,” she murmurs. “I’m so tired.”

I tell her to pull over, and the minute she does, I wrap her in a hug. “What happened?” I ask. “Did he do something to you?”

Lucy sniffles, and then nods her head. “Yeah,” she says into my shoulder. “He gave me hope when there wasn’t any.”

“He led you on?” I exhale. “The same thing just happened to me. What is it with us Landon girls? Maybe we’re just too much for mere mortal men.” I smile, and feel relieved when she returns it. I can’t believe I didn’t see the number this guy was doing on my sister. I’ll knee him if I ever find him.