A Wallflower Christmas (Wallflowers #5)(36)

“If I take it back,” he asked, “do I still owe you a forfeit?”

A smile struggled upward but didn’t quite surface. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to consider that.”

Bowman reached out, but instead of taking the soldier from her, he closed his hand over hers, trapping the cool metal between their palms. His thumb moved in a gentle sweep over the back of her hand. The touch caused her to draw in a quick, severed breath. His fingers moved upward to close around her wrist, drawing her toward him. His head bent as he looked down at the letter still clasped in her fingers. “What is it?” he asked quietly. “What’s worrying you? Trouble at home?”

Hannah gave a wild little shake of her head and forced a smile. “Oh, nothing’s worrying me. I’ve received very good news. I’mI’m happy!”

A sardonic, slanting glance. “So I see.”

“Mr. Clark wants to marry me,” she blurted out. For some reason, saying the words aloud sent a chill of panic through her.

His eyes narrowed. “Clark proposed by letter? He couldn’t have troubled himself to come here and ask you in person?”

Although it was a perfectly reasonable question, Hannah felt defensive. “I find it very romantic. It’s a love letter.”

“May I see it?”

Her eyes turned round. “What makes you think I would show you something so personal, and” She made a little sound of distress as he took the letter from her nerveless fingers. But she didn’t try to take it back.

Bowman’s face was expressionless as he glanced over the neatly written lines. “This isn’t a love letter,” he muttered, tossing it contemptuously to the floor. “It’s a damned science report.”

“How dare you!” Hannah bent to scoop the letter up, but he wouldn’t let her. The toy soldier dropped as well, bouncing on the soft carpet as Bowman gripped her by the elbows.

“You’re not actually considering it, are you? That cold-blooded, pathetic excuse for a marriage proposal?”

“Of course I am.” Her anger exploded without warning, fueled by some deep and treacherous longing. “He’s everything you’re not, he’s honorable and kind and gentlemanly”

“He doesn’t love you. He never will.”

That hurt. In fact, the pain doubled and redoubled until Hannah could hardly breathe. She twisted angrily in his hold. “You think that because I’m poor and ordinary, someone like Mr. Clark couldn’t love me. But you’re wrong. He sees past”

“Ordinary? Are you mad? You’re the most insanely delicious girl I’ve ever met, and if I were Clark, I’d have done a hell of a lot more than fondle your cranium by now”

“Don’t mock me!”

“I’d have seduced you ten times over.” He deliberately stepped on the letter. “Don’t lie to me, or yourself. You’re not happy. You don’t want him. You’re settling for this because you don’t want to risk being an old maid.”

“That’s a fine accusation coming from you, you hypocrite!”

“I’m not a hypocrite. I’ve been honest with everyone, including Natalie. I’m not pretending to be in love. I don’t pretend to want her the way I want you.”

Hannah froze, staring at him in astonished silence. That he should admit it …

She realized she was breathing much too fast, and so was he. Her fingers curled over his sleeves, against his hard-muscled forearms. She wasn’t certain if her grip was exerted to keep him close or hold him away.

“Tell me you’re in love with him,” Bowman said.

Hannah couldn’t speak.

More soft insistence. “Then say you desire him. You should feel that much for him, at least.”

A tremor ran all through her, spreading to the tips of her fingers and toes. She took the deepest breath possible, and managed a thin reply. “I don’t know.”

His expression changed, an odd half-smile coming to his lips, his eyes hot and predatory. “You don’t know how to tell if you desire a man, sweetheart? I can help you with that.”

“That kind of help,” Hannah said with asperity, “I do not need.” She stiffened as he brought her closer, his big hands sliding from her elbows to hook beneath her arms. Her pulse had gone wild, heat thrumming in every part of her.

He bent to kiss her. She made a halfhearted attempt to wriggle away, causing his mouth to catch at her cheek instead of her lips. Bowman didn’t appear to mind. He seemed amenable to kissing any part of her he could reach, her cheeks, chin, jaw, the lobe of her ear. Hannah went still, panting as the kisses slid and skimmed over her hot face. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips catch at hers. Another soft, glancing brush, and another, and finally he closed his mouth over hers, deep and secure.

He tasted her with his tongue, searching slowly, and the voluptuous sensation blotted out every thought or flicker of reason. One arm went around her, and his head turned, and he kissed her more urgently. His free hand came up to her jaw, cradling and angling her face. He withdrew just enough to play with her, the fever-glazed caresses of his mouth coaxing her into openness, licking into the vulnerable heat.

The trembling grew worse, insidious pleasure melting through her like boiling sugar. As he tried to soothe her, the tender parts of her body began to throb beneath her clothes, all the laces and seams and stays cinching and clinging with maddening tightness. She struggled a little, chafing against the artificial restrictions. He seemed to understand. His lips left hers, his warm breath fanning the curve of her ear as his fingers went to her bodice. She heard her own moan of relief as she felt him unfastening her collar, and his reassuring whispers that he would take care of her, he would never hurt her, she must relax and trust him, relax…all this while his hand moved stealthily along her front, tugging and unfastening.