A Turn of Tides (A Shade of Vampire #13)(10)

But I didn’t.

I had room for another.

Perhaps it was the sun that had drained me, or perhaps my bloodlust was increasing, I didn’t know.

I didn’t care.

I just knew what I wanted.

And I took it—a young woman this time, from the same square.

Scooping her up in my arms, I raced with her back toward the beach.

I stopped outside the vessel, finishing the last of her blood before discarding her body in the waves and climbing in.

I closed the hatch above me and leaned back against the metal wall, closing my eyes and relishing the fresh rush of blood flowing through me, nourishing every cell of my body.

I felt so strong I could crush a ball of iron with my fist.

So drunk on blood I felt invincible.

I’d had no idea that blood could make a vampire feel like this.

It satisfied their hunger, the burning in the stomach, that I understood… but this? It was like a drug to me.

I couldn’t remember even my father describing bloodlust with this much intensity.

I pulled myself to my feet and staggered toward the control room, putting the vessel into reverse and moving away from the shore.

I stopped about three miles out, lying back down on the floor, staring up at the dark ceiling.

It felt like I was in the early stages of an addiction.

The more I killed, the more I felt the urge for it.

It seemed to be easier and easier each time I tried.

Each gulp of blood I drank came with less guilt.

Less hesitation.

It was only after five hours of sitting alone in the submarine that the slightest flicker of guilt resurfaced in my dark mind.

I can’t keep killing like this.

And yet I knew that I would as long as I remained alone in this submarine.

I had nobody to hold me back.

Even when I tried to stay away from the shore, once the darkness clouded my mind I just found myself returning again.

I walked over to the bathroom and stared at myself again in the mirror.

I almost yelled in shock.

My eyes had turned pitch black.

It was as if they had never been green.

I splashed cold water on my face, drying it with a towel, as if this would somehow change the color of my eyes.

I staggered back, my back hitting the wall of the bathroom.

What is happening to me?

Chapter 5: Ben

The moment of clarity that had descended on me in the submarine didn’t last long.

I soon went back to relishing the way my body felt after consuming so much blood.

I sat in the control cabin for hours, staring out at the dark waters.

I sat for almost a day before the craving for more fresh blood took hold of me again, and, like a slave to my own senses, I found myself being dragged back to shore.

I barely even felt the sun digging into my skin as I sought out my next victims.

All I could think about was the exquisite liquid seeping into my mouth.

I began to lose track of how many people I killed in the days that followed.

But after what was perhaps the tenth murder, the guilt was practically non-existent.

I was barely self-aware enough for this to scare even me any more.

Slicing through a man’s throat was beginning to feel no different than slicing open an orange—a means of sustenance I couldn’t do without.

It wasn’t until the phone rang in my chest pocket that I gained some sense of who I was again.

I scrambled to pick it up.

“Hello?” I said.

“Joseph.” It was Jeramiah’s voice.

“What do you want?” I breathed.

“I thought I’d check in on you.

How are you coping?” “Fine,” I grunted.

“Good.

Good.

So you’re finding blood all right?” “Yes.” “All right.

I was just curious.

Not all newly turned vampires are cut out to be murderers, you see.

Some prefer others to do the killing and just partake of the blood.

But it seems that you’re doing just fine.” With that, he hung up.

I removed the phone from my ear, staring down at the receiver.

There was something about those last words that didn’t sit right with me, and I wasn’t sure why.

Murderer.

That was what he’d called me.

I’m a murderer.

The word finally triggered the emotions I’d been struggling to feel the past few days.

Regret.

Guilt.

Fright at what I was becoming, perhaps had already become.

No.

I can’t let myself fall like this.

I pulled myself to my feet, still staring down at the phone.

I’m not a murderer.

I kept repeating the words over and over in my head, as if just saying them would make it true.

I walked to the end of the submarine and slammed my fists against the wall, making two more dents.

I stamped my foot on the ground, making the vessel rock from side to side and shudder.

No, I can’t do this.

I tried to think of my parents, but they seemed like a distant memory, as did Rose.

I have nobody but myself to save me now.

I have to stop killing.

My whole body shuddered, as though it was already starting to go into withdrawals just at the thought.