A Turn in the Road (Blossom Street #8)(64)

Bethanne joined him on the deck, and he slid his arm around her waist. “I had no idea this was so lovely,” he said, almost as if he was speaking to himself.

“You haven’t been here before?”

“Once. That was about two and a half years ago. Like I said, a friend of mine owns this. It was a little over a year after Kate died and I was consumed with grief. I was here, but I don’t even remember looking at the lake.”

“Grief takes over your life, doesn’t it?” she said, growing thoughtful. “Years ago I read that grief is the place where love and pain converge. For whatever reason, that stayed in my mind. The truth of it hit me after Grant left. I grieved for my marriage.” Like Max, she spoke in a whisper. “In the months after that, I discovered a number of things about myself, and they weren’t necessarily things I liked. My husband had moved in with Tiffany. I wanted him back. I was willing to do anything, be anyone, if only Grant would come home again. I needed my husband. I’d never experienced that kind of emotional pain. Never understood how the man who’d vowed to love me could hurt me this badly.”

Max’s arm tightened around her.

“That first year forced me to reinvent my life,” she said, “but a large part of who I am was formed by my love for Grant.”

Max nodded. “Yes,” he murmured. “And he tried to destroy that.”

She didn’t respond.

“I know how much you loved Kate,” she said after a moment, leaning her head against his shoulder. “I wish I could tell you that the grief you’re feeling will disappear and never return. But by now you’ve discovered it won’t completely vanish.”

He slowly exhaled.

“Because of Kate and Katherine, because you loved them, you’re a different person. That love, and the love they had for you, will stay with you forever. Nothing can change the way you feel about them. They’re part of you and always will be.”

Max turned her to face him and whispered, “Thank you.” Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close. For a long time they stood there and simply clung to each other. They didn’t feel the need to kiss, and she believed that was because what they shared transcended the physical. This understanding—that they’d both lost what they’d treasured most—brought them together in a more profound way than mere attraction.

Eventually, they wandered down to the lake, took off their shoes and walked along the shore, holding hands. They smiled at a group of kids digging in the sand with colorful shovels and pails. After a while they found a private spot, where they sat and gazed out at the water.

“You’re leaving in the morning?” Max asked, although he already knew the answer.

Bethanne splayed her fingers in the sand and nodded.

“Have you decided where you’re going next?”

“Probably New Orleans.” Bethanne remembered that was on Ruth’s original route. “Ruth had everything worked out before Annie and I joined her.”

“Ruth planned to drive cross-country alone?”

“We weren’t about to let that happen.”

“I’ll be forever grateful you tagged along.” He reached for her left hand and kissed the knuckles.

Bethanne would be forever grateful, too.

Her right hand continued to make circles in the sand. “Why did you want to know about our next stop?” she asked as casually as she could. She might appear relaxed, but she held her breath, torn between hope and dread. She hoped he’d follow but didn’t dare ask if he would.

“Have you ever been to New Orleans?” Max asked.

“Never.”

“It’s a wild and crazy town.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Max squeezed her fingers. “I can’t meet you there.”

She blinked, trying to hide her disappointment. “What about Florida?”

“Probably not.”

She blinked again. He hadn’t offered any explanations or excuses. She could always ask but decided against it. If Max wanted her to know his reasons, he would volunteer the information. She wasn’t a needy individual who craved constant reassurance.

“Then this is it?” she asked, swallowing hard.

Max’s eyes immediately sought hers. “No…” He shook his head, then looked away. “The truth is, I don’t think I can give you up.”

The tension left Bethanne and she threw her arms around him and smiled. Max smiled, too, then leaned over and kissed her. She set her hand on his shoulder and kissed him back. After a moment, they drew apart.

Max lay in the sand and closed his eyes. “I never expected to feel this kind of peace again.”

“I know. I’m six years out of my marriage and I’m only beginning to feel content. Sometimes I’m amazed to realize I’m truly happy. At first, I didn’t believe that was possible.”

“Are you happy now?”

She closed her eyes, too, and felt the wind and the sun against her face, heard the excited sounds of children playing. Max was sprawled out at her side—a man she barely knew, yet was convinced she could love. “Yes,” she whispered.

“I hardly ever tell anyone about Kate and never about Katherine.”

She’d noticed more than once how infrequently he spoke of anything personal.