A Shadow of Light (A Shade of Vampire #4)(54)

If I wanted to satisfy my craving, no one could really stop me from doing as I pleased. That’s what scared me so much. Thus, I made my way to the one place with enough power to keep me from harming Sofia.

The Sanctuary.

“Back so soon? Since when can’t you get enough of my company?” Corrine watched me intently, unfazed by the fact that I’d just barged into her study unannounced.

“Sofia is back. She returned with her father and I don’t know who else.” I sank onto one of the couches inside her study, my head downcast. “She returned right after Felix and his men blew up the chilling chambers and I lost it… I blacked out and I ripped Felix’s heart out.”

“The darkness took over?”

“I don’t know what to do, Corrine.”

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do, Derek?” Corrine snapped. “Your fiancée has just returned. You go to her and you kiss her and you make her feel like she matters. What on earth are you doing here with me?”

“Don’t you think I want to do that? After all the time we’ve been apart?” I ran a hand through my hair. “I want nothing more than to be with her, Corrine, but did you not hear me? The chilling chambers are gone…along with the blood. There’s no blood left—apart from the blood running through the veins of the human beings and animals at The Shade. How on earth am I going to control my craving for Sofia?”

“Well, you’re certainly not going to be able to control it while ranting at me here, Derek. You have to face her and figure it out. One thing’s for sure…you can’t keep running away from her.”

“You’re no help at all. Don’t you have any spell to help quench the craving?” I felt like a child throwing a tantrum as I crossed my arms over my chest, but I was desperate for some sort of cure.

“Didn’t Sofia arrive saying that she and the hunters have found a cure? If you let her father administer the cure, then you wouldn’t have to come here asking for a spell, sulking like a little boy.”

“Cora would’ve given me a spell—if one existed. I know she would’ve.”

“I’m not Cora. Besides, she was in love with you. You could’ve asked her to jump off the walls of the Crimson Fortress and she would’ve done it. There’s only one person on this island who would do the same thing for you and that’s Sofia.”

“Come with me. Please.” I stood to my feet and quickly approached her, fully intending to drag her all the way to my penthouse if I had to.

“What?! No!”

“Don’t you want to see Sofia? You two are good friends. If you’re there, at least I’ll know that someone is powerful enough to stop me in case I black out and…” I grabbed Corrine’s wrist and gasped when she quickly withdrew her hand from me and gave me a tight slap right across my face.

“Pull yourself together, Novak. Sofia Claremont is far stronger than you give her credit for. Man up and give her the welcome she deserves.”

I knew that Corrine was right. I knew I was acting foolishly, but I couldn’t help it. I was afraid. I was terrified of what I was capable of doing. “How could I ever forgive myself if I cause her more pain than I already have?”

“The same way you forgave yourself all those other times you made her miserable, Novak. You ask for her forgiveness and when you find that she loves you enough to see past what you’ve done, that’s when you’ll be able to forgive yourself.”

I was about to say something else in response, but the witch’s brown eyes widened at me, and I shrank away from her.

“Get out of my sight, Novak.”

I left The Sanctuary and took a long walk, my thirst for Sofia’s blood not dwindling for even a moment. I knew I had to face her eventually, and I knew that I had to exercise some form of control—if only to prove to Aiden that his daughter wasn’t in danger around me.

I eventually ended up in my penthouse, knowing that she was nearby, based on the level of thirst I had. I swallowed hard as I stepped into my living room, surprised to find Xavier there. He rose upon seeing me, fists clenched, the expression on his face clearly indicating that he was just about ready to break someone’s neck.

“You don’t look very happy,” was all I could think to say.

“Have you seen her?”

I assumed he was talking about Sofia. “Barely. You were there when she came… I couldn’t stand being in the same room with her.” I could practically hear her heartbeat, pumping blood into her veins, blood that would be pure ecstasy to me once I had a taste of it. “What I would give to…”

“Not her… Not Sofia…” Xavier shook his head. “Vivienne.”

My gut clenched and I took a step forward. “Don’t mess with me, Xavier.”

“She’s alive. I’m not messing with you. She came with Sofia and her father. Claudia’s with them too…” Xavier shook his head. “She’s not looking well…”

“Where is she?” I hissed. I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that Vivienne could possibly be alive. No vampire had ever survived after being taken captive by the hunters before. Except me, and now there’s Claudia…and Vivienne? How is this possible?

“In her bedroom, but so is…”