A Shade of Vampire (A Shade of Vampire #1)(8)

I studied the young woman whose emerald green eyes boldly settled on me. I took in the sight of those dark auburn locks cascading down her shoulders and framing her delicate face. There was an innocence to the slight blush of her freckled cheeks that made me ache inside. Her eyes and the way they were fixed on me – unflinching in their courage and audacity – made me want to shrink away from her.

I knew she was studying me and I would’ve given anything to find out what was going through her head as she looked me over.

A familiar ache gripped my chest with every step I took closer to her. She was everything I no longer was. She represented everything I lost when my father turned me into this monster.

When I was about two feet away from her, I immediately regretted ever going near her, because the sight and smell of the slightest bit of blood on her lower lip became my complete undoing.

Lightning speed and strength I forgot I had pushed her backwards until her back hit one of the sanctuary’s giant marble pillars with a loud thud. Guilt and shame filled me for causing her pain, but I was giving in to my nature, desperate to draw her blood and taste it.

I swallowed hard as my eyes centered on the cut on her lip. I knew that the moment I did anything to taste it, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. There was no going back.

“Derek, no…”

My uneven breathing and erratic heartbeat drowned out my sister’s protests. As far as I was concerned, there was no one else there with us. It was just me and this innocent – this innocent I was about to totally destroy.

I wrapped an arm around her small waist and lifted her up the pillar, supporting her weight with my hips. She tried to push me away, tried to free herself from my grip, but it didn’t take long for her to realize that there was no escape. I was too strong for her and she was at my complete mercy. She knew it. I knew it, and I hated myself, because at that moment, there wasn’t a single bit of mercy running through my blood-deprived veins. There was nothing in me but an animalistic and primal need that was begging to be satisfied – hunger.

CHAPTER 7: SOFIA

What is it with these people and shoving me up against hard surfaces?

I was fully aware of the gravity of my situation, and yet that was the one thought that circled my mind the moment he lifted me so that my face was directly in front of his. He had me pinned against a black marble pillar. My back was suffering from the abuse it’d been receiving all night long – first from Derek’s brother and now from him.

Lucas was probably right when he referred to me as a “fragile little twig”. It was exactly how I felt, with Derek pinning me there, all my attempts to push him away and break free failing miserably. I wasn’t even sure if he was aware of how strong he was, but he exuded a power that I didn’t sense even with Lucas. I felt like a china doll, as though he could shatter me the moment he wished to do so.

Everything about Derek Novak was overwhelming my senses. The feel of his body pressed against mine, the chill of his breath against my skin, the sound of his uneven breathing, the light scent of his musk mixing with the myrrh they applied on me before we were brought to him.

He stared at me and I stared back. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning and every bit of his demeanor showed how conflicted he was about what he wanted to do. And yet, there was also a determination in his sharp blue eyes that left me grasping for any bit of hope.

When his free hand grabbed my head and pushed it to the side to clear my neck as he bared his fangs, all I could think of doing was beg, “Please don’t.”

I could hear Vivienne trying to plead with him, reminding him that he could control this. He needed to regain control.

I didn’t understand what was going on or why they were doing what they were doing. I just knew that I was at Derek’s mercy and yet, unlike what I experienced with Lucas earlier that night, right now nothing about what Derek was doing made me feel violated.

That scared me. This man had me shoved up a hard surface, trapping me with his strong arms, crushing me. He was about to sink his teeth into my bare neck and drink my blood. I had every right to feel violated, but I didn’t. What does that say about me?

“Derek… you don’t want to do this… you have control.” Vivienne just kept at it.

I looked into Derek’s eyes wondering if it was getting to him. It seemed it wasn’t, because he pushed against me as he leaned forward, his fangs beginning to press against my neck.

Even as all five of my senses were assailed by sensation after sensation brought about by my unfamiliar and strange predicament, I recalled something Ben always told me when I began to pity myself and blame my circumstances for my sorrow.

“I know an excuse when I hear one, Sofia. Don’t you dare dupe yourself into believing that you’re the victim.”

I tried to push him away, but surrendered to the idea that it was no use. Instead, I pressed my cheek against his, the warmth of my skin fading with the coldness of his.

“You can control yourself. Don’t do this to me.” I whispered into his ear.

To my surprise, just when his fangs were about to break my skin and draw blood, he stopped. I could feel the fangs retract and it was just his lips pressed against my neck. “I can’t,” he responded. “You’re too beautiful, your blood too enticing, too sweet...”

Tears began to stream down my face – partly because everything that’d been happening came crashing down on me, overwhelming me, and partly because of how much I ached for Ben as I spoke the same words that he had so many times before.