A Shade of Vampire (A Shade of Vampire #1)(22)

He looked at me with so much intensity, I began to wonder if I’d said something wrong, so I was relieved when his face somehow relaxed and he lifted a hand to brush a stray strand of hair off my face. “You are a marvel.”

At that statement, I had to smile. “I doubt I’m much of a marvel…at least not compared to you.”

“What do you mean?” He seemed taken aback.

“The guards told us about how you’re a Blood Shade legend, savior of the vampires. It all sounded very impressive.”

He looked away, almost as if he was disturbed by what I said.

I found that strange. After an accomplishment that massive, I would expect a guy to be proud, to gloat over it, to puff out his chest and have that look on his face letting everyone know that it was indeed him who did that. It’s definitely how Ben would’ve reacted. Not Derek.

“Savior of the vampires…” he scoffed. “I’m supposed to rule over our kind. They say my reign will bring the vampires true sanctuary. I’m not even sure if we deserve to get saved. After everything we did… After everything we’re doing…” He gave me a long, meaningful gaze and pulled his hand out of my grasp. “Look what we’re doing to you.”

To that, I didn’t know how to respond. I missed Ben so much. There wasn’t a waking moment since I got there that he wasn’t at the back of my mind, that I wasn’t wondering what he was thinking about or how he was dealing with my disappearance. I wondered how many of the humans they took here were separated from loved ones. To my relief, Derek didn’t seem to be interested in a response.

“My father was a farmer,” he began. “That’s what we did before we became this. We farmed wheat and grew vegetables. It was a humble existence, but we were happy. Then one night, my father and Lucas were out in the city to trade our goods. Vivienne and I went out for wood. When we returned, our mother was dead, her blood sucked dry.”

I swallowed hard as I listened and imagined how that would’ve felt.

“Vivienne swore it was a wild beast. They ridiculed me but I knew it was a vampire. I was just thirteen at the time, but I was so sure that a vampire murdered my mother, so I found a way to join the shadow hunters. For five years, I was one of them and I killed many, many vampires. So imagine my surprise when on my eighteenth birthday, my father came home and he was a vampire. I should’ve killed him. I really should’ve, but I couldn’t. He was still my father. He turned Lucas, Vivienne and me that night. I became the very creature that I hunted, the creature that I hated.”

“If you hate vampires so much, why fight to save them? Why establish the Blood Shade?”

“It was never about saving the vampires. The next hundred years after I was turned were all about saving my family. It just so happened that I couldn’t save them without also saving the others who helped us survive. I never thought that the Blood Shade would become what it is now.”

I couldn’t even begin to imagine what those years were like for him, how tormented he must have felt, but if he wanted me to acknowledge that he was a victim to his own existence, I wasn’t about to give him that. He was too strong, too powerful, and too influential to play the part of a victim.

“I’m sorry for what you had to go through, and I’m…honored that you would tell me these things, but you’re strong and you’re a leader – whether you like it or not. If anything, you seem to be the only one here who has the power to change things...for the better.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“Well, who ever said that you have to figure it all out tonight?”

I grabbed his hand, stood up and pulled him up. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I nudged him toward the larger couch, enjoying the curiosity in his eyes as I sat on the space beside him. I heaved a sigh before pulling his arm over my shoulder and snuggling against him.

“We’ve already had too much drama for one night, don’t you think?”

“True.” His tone seemed lighter, more relaxed as he ran his fingers over my bare shoulder. “Now that I’ve embarrassingly spilled my guts to you, perhaps it’s time you told me more about you.”

I groaned. “And delve into my drama? I don’t think so. Let’s spend tonight introducing you to today’s version of entertainment.”

I reached for the remote control and switched on the flat screen TV. I couldn’t help but smile at the fascination that sparked in his eyes.

“What on bloody earth is that?” he asked.

“A magic mirror,” I teased before explaining to him the best way I could what exactly a television set was. I asked if he wanted to watch a movie, recalling the extensive DVD collection we’d found earlier that night. I asked him to pick a movie and he returned with two interesting picks: Chicago and the Godfather. It was almost a reflection of the kind of person that he was – a musician and a killer whose loyalty to family stood above all else – either way, tormented, with darkness constantly looming over him.

Since I wasn’t up for watching either movie, I smiled, remembering his request and how Vivienne managed to have her minions see that it be done immediately. “I have a better idea.”

I was amused by the questioning look he gave me as I stood up, laid the DVDs he chose on the center table, grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the music room. The sheer delight in his eyes when he saw the room was almost endearing – like he was a boy shown a roomful of his favorite toys. “Vivienne did it so quickly…”