A Shade of Doubt (A Shade of Vampire #12)(42)

Chapter 31: Ben

About half an hour after my father injected me, blood began to spill from my nostrils and I felt an overwhelming urge to retch again. Drawing open the window, I coughed up mouthfuls more of it.

I didn’t understand why, but one thing was becoming clear to me. My body rejected animal blood. I’d had no problem consuming Yasmine’s blood.

I slammed the window shut, breathing heavily. I sensed a tinge of human blood in my room, carried in by a breeze. My mouth watered.

I paced up and down my room, trying to distract myself from the hunger tearing through my stomach. But it was impossible. It felt like every cell of my being was craving human blood.

Guilt still gripped me for what I’d done to Yasmine. And yet I realized I wouldn’t hesitate to kill again if it meant satisfying my hunger. I tried to feel guilty at the realization, but I was too consumed by bloodlust. Remembrance of the taste of her blood filled my mind, tantalizing my taste buds. My mouth tingled just at the memory of it.

I walked back over to the window, staring out at the starry night sky.

I can’t remain here like this.

I’d thought it would get better. I’d thought, as my parents had hoped, that I’d get accustomed to animal blood and it would fill me up enough to not be so dangerous, not be such a threat to humans. But I didn’t see how that could ever happen when I couldn’t even hold down the stuff for more than a few minutes.

This island was under enough stress as it was without me going around murdering people. And I didn’t want to risk taking the life of another person I cared for. What would become of The Shade if they couldn’t even trust their own prince?

Although it cut me to think of how it would hurt my parents, there only was one solution. And I needed to do it sooner rather than later.

Now that I’d just thrown up again, I felt hungrier than ever.

I clutched the handle of my door. It was locked. I cast my eyes around the room. Grabbing a backpack, I began piling items of clothing and personal belongings into it. I emptied my cupboard, drawers, and looked under my bed for money. While I had a few notes, it wouldn’t be enough. I didn’t know how long I would need to stay away.

I couldn’t break down the door. It would wake my parents.

Swinging the bag onto my back, I pulled open the window. My breath hitched as I looked down—the forest ground was hundreds of feet down. I climbed out, gripping hold of the wooden frame. With one forceful swing, I hurled myself against the window ledge next to mine. It was the window in the hallway. I was relieved that it was slightly open.

Hauling myself up, I pulled the window fully open before climbing back into the apartment. I held my breath, listening for any sign of my parents stirring. The apartment was completely silent. I couldn’t hear their snoring… or even breathing for that matter. I wondered if they were even in the apartment.

I padded along the carpet and headed to my father’s study. Easing the door open, I walked to the safe and entered the code. I pulled out several wads of cash before closing it again. We had plenty of money on this island. More than we needed. It wouldn’t be missed.

Next, I reached into the filing cabinet next to the safe and pulled out one of the several photocopies of Mona’s map my father stored there. I wasn’t sure why I’d taken it, but there was no harm having it.

After stuffing both the money and the map into my bag, finally I walked over to my father’s desk. I picked up a pen and ripped off a piece of paper from his notepad.

I stared at the paper for several minutes before putting the pen to it.

No matter how I worded it, it would cut my parents deep. So I might as well just be as direct as possible. I didn’t have much time after all. I couldn’t be caught. If I was, I didn’t know that I would be able to escape the island.

Bending down over the desk, I began to write:

“I can’t hold in animal blood.

I’ve left, because it’s what is best for The Shade. Our people are safer without me.

I don’t know when I’ll return. But, please, don’t come looking for me.

Ben.”

I stared at my handwriting a few more moments, jagged and messy from the way my hand was shaking. Then I slid the note into the center of the table where my father would see it.

I regretted not being able to say goodbye to everyone I cared for in The Shade. Especially Abby. We’d become close friends in recent weeks. I hoped that she’d understand.

Drawing a deep breath, I left the room. Although I guessed that it would be locked, I tried the front door. I was right to have tried. It was open. I couldn’t use the elevator in case I bumped into someone. Climbing onto the balcony railing, I leapt into a nearby tree. My heart hammered in my chest as I closed the distance between myself and the ground. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I lost no time in racing forward. I whizzed through the trees so fast, I would have appeared to be but a blur to any onlooker.

Once I reached the Port, I ducked down low. I had to keep myself hidden in shadow as much as I could. I arrived at the bay of submarines and, scanning the line for the smallest one, opened the hatch and lowered myself inside.

As I seated myself in the control room and started up the engine, navigating it away from the harbor and into the open sea, I didn’t know where I would go or what I would do. Or how I would survive as this beast I was still trying to understand myself.