A Reclusive Heart (Hollywood Hearts #2)(46)

His eyes shot over to the nightstand overflowing with more junk food to the coffee table with four ice buckets filled to the top with ice and fresh Cokes. Realizing that the damage was already done, he grabbed a Coke and paused by the little table of junk food and grabbed a packet of Twinkies and kicked off his shoes before he sat down on the bed next to Jamie.

“I’m not speaking to you,” she said quietly, not bothering to take her eyes away from the television that unfortunately was playing a chick flick. The hell he put up with to do his job, he thought as he ripped open his Twinkies. When she reached over and grabbed one of his Twinkies he simply sighed and started in on the other one.

Normally he didn’t touch sweets. He’d never been big on them probably because that’s all he had to eat when he was a kid. His mother and “Aunts” hadn’t exactly been up to date on parenting one-o-one and hadn’t thought that a growing boy might need more than fake juice filled with sugar, chips and microwave pizza to live on. The only times he got a real meal were when he went to school or when he stole it.

When he was old enough to work he took jobs busting tables at restaurants mostly for the free meals. Once he got the hell out of his mother’s house and into a dump of his own he’d refused to live off junk food. He put his student meal plan to good use and kept two jobs during the school year so that when he no longer had the student cafeteria as an option he wouldn’t have to eat shit to live. Since then he rarely even indulged in anything sugary or sweet since it usually brought back sour memories, but with his little recluse he found himself simply enjoying the occasional treat.

“What’s the game plan?” he asked after a few minutes.

Jamie raised her Coke. “I’m going to have another one of these, take a shower, head downstairs and find a guy to help me out with the next item on my list,” she said calmly and he knew just knew that she was close to breaking down.

Any other woman and this would have been the point where he made his excuses and left the room, but this was his little recluse and he couldn’t leave her.

He just couldn’t.

“So, I take it you’re ready for sex,” he said casually even though he felt like screaming at the stubborn woman for even thinking about letting another guy touch her.

She was his.

At least until he got over this weird obsession with her and he would, eventually. For right now he enjoyed being with her, laughing with her and doing absolutely nothing with her. It made the not having actual sex part worth it which was crazy. He normally didn’t waste his time on a woman if she wasn’t going to put out, Dana excluded, but for her it was well worth it.

“You’re not ready for sex yet, Jamie, and if you go do this now you’re going to feel worse in the morning,” he calmly pointed out.

For the first time since he entered the room she looked at him. “Oh, and I suppose you’re an expert on when people are ready for sex? How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Twelve,” he said flatly.

“Twelve?” she repeated in disbelief.

He nodded as he took another sip of the Coke that now felt like acid in his stomach. “It was a thirteenth birthday gift from my mother. She asked one of her friends to do the honors,” he said, not really sure why he was talking about this when he usually made it a point to pretend that his childhood never happened. He sure as hell never shared any of the gory details with anyone and never planned to, but with Jamie he felt comfortable telling her. Maybe it was because he knew that his little recluse wasn’t into gossip. Whenever people were gossiping around her she seemed really uncomfortable and always excused herself even if that meant she had to go stand in a corner all alone.

“I-I thought you said you were twelve,” she mumbled.

“I was. She had no idea how old I was. The only reason she knew it was my birthday was because the school sent home a general birthday announcement and she just happened to read it,” he said with a shrug as if it had been no big deal.

At the time he’d been ecstatic that his mother was showing him interest. All day she called him her “little man.” They even celebrated his birthday. It wasn’t much, beer, chips and video games. When eight o’clock rolled around his mother and her friends were drunk enough that they actually thought popping his cherry that night was called for. When his “Aunt” Judy took him by the hand and his mother handed him a condom and smiled at him he hadn’t wanted to disappointed them.

Two minutes after the most humiliating experience of his life Judy patted his cheek and told him the next time would cost him fifty dollars.

There hadn’t been a next time with Judy or any of his mother’s friends. He stayed clear of hookers and strippers. He might use strippers when he needed to convince a vendor to give him what he wanted, but he wouldn’t touch one with a ten foot stick never mind his”And you think that experience makes you an expert on when someone is ready?” she demanded, sounding agitated, angry and so damn hurt that his heart actually ached for her.

“No,” he said, shaking his head as he turned to look at her. “I just know that you’re not ready for this, Jamie, and rushing off to do this because your family hurt you is only going to cause you pain. Don’t let them push you into something that you’ll only regret later.”

“This has nothing to do with them!” she snapped, quickly climbing off the bed and away from him. “I’d already decided to do this before I found out,” she announced, surprising the hell out of him. She’d decided to sleep with him? That was actually kind of flattering and apparently all his damn dick needed to hear before it took notice and stood at attention.